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Is it possible to be sucessful by being nice?

17

Have you ever gotten a date or being sucessful on a date by just being nice? Is it possible to be nice to women? Why is it women say they love it when men are nice to them but go for the jerk all the time?

Or do nice guys always finish last?

Reply 1

MissLee

Being nice can never be wrong, if you ask me. It's definitely a plus! :wink:

But *just* being nice isn't really the ultimate key to success with women. (hm, and what's your personal definition of "niceness"?)

You have to be/appear open-minded, confident and self-assured without coming across as arrogant, though. Confident people are attractive. (Maybe that's why some women go for "jerks" because most of the time they're the ones who are really sure of themselves and their actions...?). Unfortunately, shyness is often misinterpreted as disinterest or boredom.
A great sense of humour and being a bit of a tease increase your chances too. But, honestly, there are no magic spells to impress someone. It has a lot to do with chemistry, as well. :smile:

Reply 2

Eden09

13

Depends what you mean by 'nice' really...

I think you have to be confident but not over powering, interested but not obsessive and friendly (as in a little bit of touching hands) but not so much that it's creepy!

...And I don't think nice guys always finish last. I think there is a sexy appeal in a 'bad boy' but if someone's looking for long term then it's always the 'nice guy' for me :smile:

Reply 3

Tom.

If by 'nice' you mean treating women with respect, then yes. I.E. Not too much touching, no crude language or lewd gestures and take it slow, fools rush in. Any girl who doesn't want to be treated like this probably isn't what you're looking for anyway.

Reply 4

Double Agent

18

Yes its possible. Just dont mistake nice for this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7BDGSQQHsc

Reply 5

UKguy29

3

jblackmoustache

Have you ever gotten a date or being sucessful on a date by just being nice? Is it possible to be nice to women? Why is it women say they love it when men are nice to them but go for the jerk all the time?

Or do nice guys always finish last?

It depends on your definition of nice, sucking up to others and doing what they want in the the hope that they will accept you will only get you walked all over. You need to stand up for yourself, be confident and go after what YOU want. Don't always be the guy that lets people go in front of you because you feel its the right thing to do. You need to push for what YOU want.

As for women, yes, they do go for the egotistical nooooobs. Thinking about my group of mates, most, including myself are single for looooooong periods of times. The 3 who regularly date are the ones that are always out, they get drunk, have sex and treat women like crap. 2 of them have kids they never see, yet women love these guys. And before people start saying, yes, but the women attracted to these guys are of a certain type, nope, they are not. They seem perfectly decent women in most cases.

So remember, do whats best for you, not whats best for anyone else.

Reply 6

Trouser Snake

2

Treat them mean and keep them keen will never go out of fashion.

Reply 7

Remy-X

2

UKguy29

It depends on your definition of nice, sucking up to others and doing what they want in the the hope that they will accept you will only get you walked all over. You need to stand up for yourself, be confident and go after what YOU want. Don't always be the guy that lets people go in front of you because you feel its the right thing to do. You need to push for what YOU want.

As for women, yes, they do go for the egotistical nooooobs. Thinking about my group of mates, most, including myself are single for looooooong periods of times. The 3 who regularly date are the ones that are always out, they get drunk, have sex and treat women like crap. 2 of them have kids they never see, yet women love these guys. And before people start saying, yes, but the women attracted to these guys are of a certain type, nope, they are not. They seem perfectly decent women in most cases.

So remember, do whats best for you, not whats best for anyone else.

how do you get what you want and stop being a pushover without coming across as agressive?

Reply 8

9MmBulletz

16

OP you are a beta male.
You need to be a man- don't overanalyse, backstab, overreact or act so emotional. That's a girl's job.
And yes, beta males always finish last.

Reply 9

near_comatose

I don't know why but I think Richard Branson is nice... He could be a total **** though lol

Reply 10

jblackmoustache

OP

17

9MmBulletz

OP you are a beta male.
You need to be a man- don't overanalyse, backstab, overreact or act so emotional. That's a girl's job.
And yes, beta males always finish last.

What is being a man? People say this to people all the time but do not offer any description of what a man actually is? What is the 'manly' way to attract women then?

Reply 11

MissLee

Double Agent

Yes its possible. Just dont mistake nice for this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7BDGSQQHsc

haha... oh boy

Reply 12

Blu3j4yw4y

1

I know the jerks you mean, and I have also noticed that girls seem to gravitate towards them, and I'm afraid I don't have a clue in hell why :/

All I can really say is that we're not all interested in guys like that :smile:

Reply 13

9MmBulletz

16

jblackmoustache

What is being a man? People say this to people all the time but do not offer any description of what a man actually is? What is the 'manly' way to attract women then?

Being a man
confidence,unapologetic (don't apologise for what you wanna do) , not too emotional, unreactive, getting on with things and not complaining, doing rather than thinking of doing

Reply 14

TickTockBoom

11

Being genuinely nice is a good thing, being a "nice guy" isn't.

Reply 15

squishymarshmellow

being nice for the sake of being nice is so not cool. it can be sniffed from a looong distance and is a repellent.

Reply 16

QwentyJ

14

9MmBulletz

OP you are a beta male.
You need to be a man- don't overanalyse, backstab, overreact or act so emotional. That's a girl's job.
And yes, beta males always finish last.

Being nice doesn't mean you are beta, Bulletz. Ford God's sake. There's a difference between being pleasant and being a doormat.

Reply 17

Sephirona

18

If you're nice honest and sincere, yes. :yes:

But if you're just nice to fit in and lick ass then no.

Reply 18

9MmBulletz

16

QwentyJ

Being nice doesn't mean you are beta, Bulletz. Ford God's sake. There's a difference between being pleasant and being a doormat.

but by you saying you are a nice person, you are almost saying that you have not much to say about yourself and are indeed a boring beta male.
Sorry if you're asked to describe yourself and the only thing you can think about is "nice", you are undeserving of attention.

Reply 19

ashyyy

Nice is boring and predictable, stand out from the crowd.

Is it possible to be sucessful by being nice?

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