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Boyfriend/Uni Question

Hello guys and guyettes!

I have a wee dilemma (not literally :rolleyes:

lol) and after wracking my brains for several days I decided that my good friends on TSR would be able to help! So please help!!

Ok so in a nutshell my boyfriend (who I am completely and utterly crazy about) is leaving for uni in september and it's really been getting to me. I failed to metion this to him in so many words because I didn't want to make it any harder for him to leave, I AM actually really excited and happy for him, and also I wanted to enjoy the time we have together before he leaves. (By the way we ARE staying together through uni) Nehu, so instead of being sensible and telling him I was finding it difficult, I just got moody and closed up when uni was mentioned. I kind of pushed him away a bit when we spoke about it because I thought it would be easier for him to leave if I did. I was so worried about it that I acted more and more like I didn't need him, because I felt like he didn't need me. The other night though we had an "disagreement" and it all came to a head and I admitted to him how I was feeling. I feel so unbelievably bad, because all i've achieved is to push the person I love away. :frown:

I've apologised and he says he understands, but I think he might be a bit annoyed/worried. I really want to show him how much I love him and I also want to give him something special to take to uni (oh the cheese! lol) I would be really grateful for suggestions. Just to get me thinking because I really want to come up with something myself. Thanks for any help you can give me. I know i've been an idiot! lol

:biggrin:

Crispy

xxxxxxxxx

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Glory

Get a photos of you and him together and frame them. Both of you can look at the photo when your missing the other and when your on the phone. Most of what your discribing to me sounds like your gonna miss him so much. You just have to find ways of bridging the physical space.

Reply 2

Guitarmarama

Do something that he can think "aw that's a typical thing she'd do".

My gf and I decided to separate after 9 months together, just because we can't cope with the long-distance (okay so sheffield-manchester isnt THAT big but it is by our standards).

I'm writing her a song just to say thank you and so she won't forget me haha. It started out as a thank you but turned into a "this is how I feel with the subtle I love you hints thrown in" kinda song. But it's one of my best songs yet, so I hope she appreciates it. Taken me long enough!

Reply 3

lady

i would tell you what i am getting my boyfriend when he leaves for uni this october but he may read this so i'll pm you. oh and by the way i know how your feeling with the whole 'pushing away' thing, i do it to!
xxx

Reply 4

tele-skier

And stop pushing him away and be more supportive. Dont phone him like crazy or get too soppy or a pain in hte ass or he'll shag around all he can.

TS

Reply 5

lady

tele-skier

And stop pushing him away and be more supportive. Dont phone him like crazy or get too soppy or a pain in hte ass or he'll shag around all he can.

TS

not all men have the same shallow morals as this.

Reply 6

Helenia

But don't expect miracles. A lot of relationships do founder when one or both halves go to uni. Good luck though.

Reply 7

Lauren18

One of my friends is in a similar-ish situation, and all I could say to her in the end is that you have to take one day at a time.

You can't predict how your relationship will be affected by changes for one or both of you; you just have to see how it goes.

I find it weird that some couples break up before they go to Uni because they think it will never work - surely if you want to be together then it's worth the effort, even if a break up isn't too far around the corner?

Anyway, best of luck with everything. x

Reply 8

Love_Hearts

yeah me and my bf split up because im going away and hes staying at home. i suppose its worse for him as i will be in new surroundings meeting new people but it is still hard especially when im still in love with him. but at the end of the day im only 18, and its not going to be my last ever relationship. good luck to everyone thou in relationships its gonna be tough, but if its to be it will be ok!

Reply 9

natalie_p

I was in the same situation last year...
I gave my bf a CD of all the songswe loved (not just soppy ones)
And wrote a kind of fairy tale "once upon a time" story of our relationship which told him how i felt about everything, reminded him of all the fun times, all the arguments, and included pictures and stuff. A little reminder of home :smile:

Reply 10

gemma123

I'm going through this myself only I'm the one leaving for uni and my bf is staying here working full time. Although I'm the one who is leaving I still worry that we may grow apart and he might get bored waiting for me and find someone else. The chances are he will understand how you are feeling as he may be feeling the same himself. Hope everythin works out 4 u

Reply 11

tele-skier

lady

not all men have the same shallow morals as this.

Well actually they do, bar Cliff Richard of course. The sooner you realise it, the sooner you'll be on planet Earth.

TS

Reply 12

Profesh

I depart for Bristol this October, and shall be leaving the only girl I ever loved in my wake: I'm all the better for it; bearing in mind that my getting over her is contingent upon 'her', in effect, ceasing to be.

However I realise of course that none of this in any way pertains to your particular dilemma; and so I shall now, in effect, cease to be.

Reply 13

CrispyDuck

tele-skier

Well actually they do, bar Cliff Richard of course. The sooner you realise it, the sooner you'll be on planet Earth.

TS

No really...they don't - not real men. And it's not like girls are the only ones to be clingy.

Reply 14

CrispyDuck

Thanks so much for your help everyone! They are all really good ideas!! :p:

Now i just have to decide! :rolleyes:

Im not worried so much about uni anymore! I know that we'll be great. Whatever happens. :biggrin:

Thanks again

Crispy :biggrin:

xxxxx

Reply 15

Helenia

CrispyDuck

Thanks so much for your help everyone! They are all really good ideas!! :p:

Now i just have to decide! :rolleyes:

Im not worried so much about uni anymore! I know that we'll be great. Whatever

Oh the naivety

Reply 16

amie

Helenia

Oh the naivety

Aw its not that naive, sometimes it does work out. My boyfriend and I are still together after him being at university and me still being in Yr 13 :smile:

Reply 17

mirandab

me & my fella (who already live 50 miles apart, but have lasted 13months) are planning on staying together, even tho im moving even further away...but im hoping it will bring us even closer together as the times we see each other will be super special!

Reply 18

sophieliz

I gave this idea to my friend and it worked pretty well with her boyfriend. It might be more exciting if you post the items so he gets the package at uni when he is feeling a bit lonely. You should gather 5 items that represent the five senses: smell, taste, sight, sound and touch. You might get a mini bottle of the perfume you wear, maybe a picture for sight, a CD of memorable tracks for sound etc. Obviously use your imagination and make it personal to you as a couple. Only my suggestion :smile:

Reply 19

Helenia

amie

Aw its not that naive, sometimes it does work out. My boyfriend and I are still together after him being at university and me still being in Yr 13 :smile:

Sometimes - though when your life changes when you go to uni that'll change your relationship again.

Fact is, a lot of relationships at our age don't last, especially if one or both halves go to university, not just because of infidelity but because of the change in life it brings about and the strain of distance.

Saying "I know we'll be fine" is just naive.

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