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this guy.. i'm so confused.. guys? (or knowledgeable girls?)

ok so i'm pretty certain about a month or two ago he liked me.. we're friends btw. i could go on but yeah, that's that :p:

i'm not sure if he sensed i wasn't interested or went off me, but he hasn't been as forward for a few weeks. he'll still say hi and sit by me in lectures if there's space.. but that's just what friends do?

except.. here's the thing, there's SOMETHING there. and i don't know whether to assume it's attraction/he likes me or if it's something else? but there's something between us i don't have with other boys? wtf is it? there's almost a sense of lingering awkwardness/something not pinpointable (i'm making up words now i realise, but bear with me - it's driving me kinda crazy :biggrin:

)

i don't think he likes me anymore yet i still sense he's awkward sometimes? but WHY? it offends me! why be awkward around me? he has a very cool and calm exterior though.. very laid back with a dry sense of humour, so i can't imagine he gets nervous..? also, he's a bit more talkative online than in person (ie he opens up more) which is indicative of a shy personality but he's not even shy. he's such an enigma, my oh MY.

suggestions pls? i'm so confused, i don't want it to be this way - i want us to be comfortable with each other and talk to each other with ease whenever we want! not all these rules.. but we're not close enough for me to just demand he returns to normality and stop being funny (which i would do with any other friend) - he'd just stare at me and avoid me for life.

i don't really know what i want you guys to say, just opinions/suggestions? :proud:

i'm sorry it's so long, i tried to keep it as brief as possible

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Reply 1

LazyWorseThanInfidel

flirt more and see what happens

Reply 2

arabie

LazyWorseThanInfidel

flirt more and see what happens

i'm selective with my flirting (by accident lol)
he's very cool and dry so i'd feel stupid initiating flirting with him. i only really flirt with easy going guys who are flirty themselves
*sigh* also...... i don't know if i like him that way
that's the real stupid thing about it all. what kinda retard doesn't know how they feel? sometimes i do, but when i think about it i decide i don't. heart vs head? i dunno.

Reply 3

LazyWorseThanInfidel

instead of flirting then stare at him until he notices see if anything happens

Reply 4

arabie

LazyWorseThanInfidel

instead of flirting then stare at him until he notices see if anything happens

i like you.

Reply 5

TriOcular

I'm going to throw out a crazy suggestion here. Say "Hey, I noticed you've been a bit distant lately, 'sup?" or words to that extent.

Communication, it's a wonderful thing.

Reply 6

big-boss-91

arabie

ok so i'm pretty certain about a month or two ago he liked me.. we're friends btw. i could go on but yeah, that's that :p:

i'm sorry it's so long, i tried to keep it as brief as possible

if he acts awkward around you and you think you haven't done anything, its slightly obvious he might like you, either that or he knows something about you.

Reply 7

arabie

TriOcular

I'm going to throw out a crazy suggestion here. Say "Hey, I noticed you've been a bit distant lately, 'sup?" or words to that extent.

Communication, it's a wonderful thing.

nah, trust me if i could do that, i would have done so a LONG time ago

we're not close enough for that
also - as i've said, he holds a cool exterior. he doesn't talk about feelings.. if i came out with that, he'd literally never talk to me again. not even joking. it would create even more awkwardness.

Reply 8

arabie

big-boss-91

if he acts awkward around you and you think you haven't done anything, its slightly obvious he might like you, either that or he knows something about you.

knows something? :nooo:

doubt that though, the things to know about me are only known by 2 people at uni really and i'm 10000% sure they haven't said anything

as for liking me, i know that seems the obvious one but i'd feel it i think. i just don't have the same feeling i did when i was pretty sure he liked me, ya know?

i keep throwing back these suggestions in all your faces lol i'm sorry.. i did tell you he was an enigma though :u:

Reply 9

n33t

goshh i know exatly how you feel, like exactly!

and i really dont know what to say to be honest, because like you come up with all these lil things that it could be and it to be honest - could be anything...

i would like to kind of help you come up with a conclusion but i guess there isnt one! its just weird lol

Reply 10

Skoji

This is a familiar situation. Not one I'm in, but nevertheless familiar. If I knew what I could do from the OUTSIDE of this situation, I'd know what I could do on the inside. Ambiguous? Good. I don't really want to gossip. This post seems rather pointless, when it comes down to it.

Reply 11

arabie

Skoji

now that's just harsh
you gotta say tbh

n33t

ahh someone else! what's your situation?

Reply 12

Skoji

I can't really gossip. I'd feel bad. All I feel comfortable saying is that this situation you've described is almost exactly identical to one between two of my friends. And it's depressing to watch, because I care about each of them equally and this looks to be destroying them.

Reply 13

arabie

Skoji

are you at liberty to say whether one fancies the other, etc? or perhaps you can see why it's like that between them?

you'd be helping a very confused girl along the way without really gossiping :yep:

Reply 14

Skoji

I know one fancies the other (the guy). The girl is in a relationship, so I'm not at liberty to gossip at all about her. But the guy has been acting distant lately (obvious to everyone) and stressing her out.

Reply 15

arabie

Skoji

why is he distant!!

the thing is, this guy isn't distant in the sense that i can say 'oh look, he's distant. so that's that'

i wish i KNEW what it was

he just behaves oddly around me
he'll be ok sitting next to me and talking and sharing a joke
but argh. he's so vague. he's so ...... distant
lol.
ok so maybe he is distant.

Reply 16

Skoji

If I knew why my friend was distant from my other friend, I'd be of more use. I'm sorry.

Reply 17

arabie

i guess logic says he needs to make himself distant as she's in a relationship and he's doing it as a defence mechanism to protect himself from getting in too deep then getting hurt and having to pick himself up

i do not have a boyfriend however. thus said friend's distance is unwarranted....... apparently. sigh again.

Reply 18

tsr_clueless

you need to get a grip and man up (not literally), not trying to be rude, but think of how insignificant this post is in relation to life.

why live your life in a way where you stop yourself from saying what you want??

first decide whether you want something to happen. if you do, as a girl it's not hard to show a boy you like him besides telling him directly. you clearly are open to something happening since you've made this thread etc.

as a boy if a girl i liked asked me if i liked her, it would be a lot easier for me.. (the guy you're describing is a lot like i am, although i don't have dry gags, my humour is much more witty and sarcastic) anyway, regardless of the way he acts, inside it'll be different, in his mind he is probably waiting for you to make the first move, which is a risk you should take if you like him.. (the face he is more open online with you shows that his ''coolness'' is just masking his real feelings)

it seems like he's never going to make the first move regardless of whether he likes you. i would recommend talking online about it.. since he will be a lot more comfortable about it.

Reply 19

Marineio

Do a little bit of flirting, even if you're not good at it (like me!), just give it your best shot. Maybe stick a bit of humour in and get him laughing with you.

Depending on your personality will depend how quickly you find out, you could outright ask him, but that might scare him off. Took me a good 3 months to even take my relationship further with the guy i liked and to find out he liked me the same way!