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    (Original post by viviki)
    This is the proper and funny version of the joke

    One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large, raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.
    The first man prayed to God, saying,
    "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river.
    "Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.
    Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God,
    give me the strength ..... and the tools to cross this river."
    Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.
    The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength.....and the tools.... and the intelligence .... to cross this river."
    And poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple hundred yards, then walked across the bridge
    you have corrupted that one, because everyone knows women can't read maps.
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    this has turned into a women VS men thread. too bad.
    women are better - end of!
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    (Original post by JSM)
    you have corrupted that one, because everyone knows women can't read maps.
    Well I can map read that is the version of the joke I had handy someone sent it to me in an email the other day. The other version is that she asks for directions.
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    (Original post by Tinykates)
    this has turned into a women VS men thread. too bad.
    women are better - end of!
    hmm. lets put it this way. How many women do you know with a boyfriend (claimed), how many blokes do you know with a girlfriend
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    (Original post by JSM)
    hmm. lets put it this way. How many women do you know with a boyfriend (claimed), how many blokes do you know with a girlfriend
    What does that prove? Can't be bothered to count. The numbers are equal though.
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    (Original post by JSM)
    you have corrupted that one, because everyone knows women can't read maps.

    haha...if anyone ever gave me a map i'd be like 'o look! a piece of paper with some pretty lines!'
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    you kant say women are better than men, end of. men are naturally stronger than women (physically), of course there are weaker men and stronger women, but in general men are. on the other hand, Women are generally smarter and are able to make quick decisions and have a better bond with thier child, but there are exceptions to this where the female does not feel a bond with her child as much as the father does and so on.
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    (Original post by Tinykates)
    lol - is that from a cracker by any chance? Good one though. Yeah you can tell the dirty ones
    OMG! i had those crackers too....did anyone else get a......slinky!!!
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    (Original post by JSM)
    you have corrupted that one, because everyone knows women can't read maps.
    Gasp!
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    (Original post by JSM)
    you have corrupted that one, because everyone knows women can't read maps.
    my mum does a swell job at navigating. we drove all the way to blackpool with stopovers, from London.
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    (Original post by JSM)
    you have corrupted that one, because everyone knows women can't read maps.
    definitely.... that's why there are such creatures as men
    to help women out
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    (Original post by 4Ed)
    definitely.... that's why there are such creatures as men
    to help women out
    that's right - possibly men's only use - to map read for us
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    BRAIN SURGERY
    In the hospital, a group of relatives anxiously awaited the news of their beloved.... after what seemed like hours, the doctor finally came out. 'I'm afraid he's going to need a new brain. You have a choice between a female brain at $15000, or a male brain at $7500. Even at this point, the female relatives couldn't resist a smirk... one of them eventually asked: 'Why do female brains cost so much more?' The doctor smile, and said 'Ah, that's because of our standard marking down procedure..... the male brains have actually been USED'.
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    Very crude. youngsters avert your eyes now...

    two men in a pub, one is drinking an orange juice. His mate with a beer says "why aren't you drinking?", and the other fella replies "well, I had one too many at the weekend and when I got home I almost blew chunks". His Friend reasures him theres nothing wrong with that, but then the man says "no, you don't understand, Chunks is the name of my dog."

    I aplogise, but it makes me giggle
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    (Original post by rednirt)
    Very crude. youngsters avert your eyes now...

    two men in a pub, one is drinking an orange juice. His mate with a beer says "why aren't you drinking?", and the other fella replies "well, I had one too many at the weekend and when I got home I almost blew chunks". His Friend reasures him theres nothing wrong with that, but then the man says "no, you don't understand, Chunks is the name of my dog."

    I aplogise, but it makes me giggle
    That's great!! I think i feel sick now...

    G
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    (Original post by _EMMA_)
    why do blondes put fences around their beds?
    they want safe sex

    uummmmmmmmmmmmmm...........that was a good one !!!
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    (Original post by 4Ed)
    his teacher's a bloke...... the poor kid wasn't the one doing it..... get it now?
    oohhhhhhhh.............got that....lol.....good one...
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    (Original post by viviki)
    It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf, when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.
    "Hello?" says a little girl's voice.

    "Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says Bob. "Is Mommy near the phone?"

    "No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank."

    After a brief pause, Bob says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"

    "Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"

    "Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car's just pulled up outside the house."

    "Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did what you said, Daddy."

    "And what happened?"

    "Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."

    "Oh, my God! What about Uncle Frank?"

    "He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too, and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's dead too."

    There is a long pause.

    "Swimming pool? Is this 854-7039?"





    Three guys up in heaven. Saint Peter says, "Sorry, we're only letting 33% of our visitors in today, so we'll go with who died the worst death out of you 3 guys.

    Saint Peter asks the first man how he died:

    "Well, I suspected my wife was cheating on me, so I left work early one day. I went home storming the apartment, looking for the guy. I finally found him dangling from the balcony, so I started to smash his fingers with my boots. I finally had to go get a hammer and totally smash his fingers, and he fell. But get this, he lands right on some soft bushes. So I went to the kitchen and pushed the refrigerator all the way off the balcony to land on the guy. After that, I felt so terrible, I went in and commited suicide.

    Saint Peter went to the second man and said, "Sir, how did you die?"

    Second guy says, "Well, I was trying this new exercise routine out on my balcony, when I slip. But luckily, I grabbed on to the balcony below me. Next thing I know there is this maniac smashing my fingers with his boots and a hammer. I finally fell, but luckily, i fell in some bushes. after that, all I can remember is a refrigerator falling on top of me."

    Saint Peter reluctantly goes to the third man and asks, "May I ask how you died?"

    Third guy says, "Picture this, you're naked, and hiding in a refrigerator!"






    This is the proper and funny version of the joke

    One day, three men were hiking and unexpectedly came upon a large, raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do so.
    The first man prayed to God, saying,
    "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river.
    "Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours, after almost drowning a couple of times.
    Seeing this, the second man prayed to God, saying, "Please God,
    give me the strength ..... and the tools to cross this river."
    Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about an hour, after almost capsizing the boat a couple of times.
    The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength.....and the tools.... and the intelligence .... to cross this river."
    And poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, hiked upstream a couple hundred yards, then walked across the bridge


    This is pretty tasteless but funny

    A disheveled girl goes into a police station and says she has been raped.
    The concerned cop asks her for a description and she says she remembers what he was wearing, long white pants, long sleeved white shirt and a dark blue cap.
    The cop say he sounds like an English cricketer, and the girl says, you may be right he wasn't in for long
    #



    really cool ones !!!
    ha ha ha ha
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    (Original post by Tinykates)
    this has turned into a women VS men thread. too bad.
    women are better - end of!
    that is the wrong stats that u have got from someone !!!
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    (Original post by rednirt)
    Very crude. youngsters avert your eyes now...

    two men in a pub, one is drinking an orange juice. His mate with a beer says "why aren't you drinking?", and the other fella replies "well, I had one too many at the weekend and when I got home I almost blew chunks". His Friend reasures him theres nothing wrong with that, but then the man says "no, you don't understand, Chunks is the name of my dog."

    I aplogise, but it makes me giggle


    ummmmmmmmmm.......cool one !!!
 
 
 
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