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    (Original post by Tinykates)
    5 Counterproductive Pick-Up Lines

    1) If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.
    2) How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?
    3) My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in.
    4) If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?
    5) How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.
    urgh.... i've seen some others like this before, but not as rank...
    6) do you want your stomach tickled from the inside?


    That reminds me, has anyone heard the Weird Al Yankovic version of Mambo Number 5, called Bimbo Number 5?
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    BIMBO NUMBER 5 LYRICS

    (Talking)

    Ladies and gentlemen. Where is bimbo number 6?

    (Sung)

    One, two, three, four, six
    Everybody in the car, let's go have sex,
    To the hotel around the corner,
    The girls want to do the president,
    But I really don’t wan-na
    Get caught like I did last year
    I'll find a new girl with a great big rear,
    I had Monica, and Jennifer, Paula, and Kathleen
    And maybe five other girls in be-tween
    But I like to try a new piece of pork
    When old pumpkin legs is in New York
    If she’s alive I will try to jump her,
    Then I will dump her.

    (Chorus)
    a little bit of Monica, ohh no more
    a little bit of Jennifer, out the door
    a little bit of Paula, on the bed
    a little bit of Hillary, now I'm dead!

    Bimbo number five!

    Pull your pants down,
    And toss it on the ground,
    Now bark like a hound,
    And I'll make a doggy sound,
    I'll chase you,
    And you chase me,
    And if I get caught,
    Will you spank my fanny please?
    Clap your hands once,
    Here’s a big surprise,
    Everyone was wrong,
    It points to the right!

    (Chorus)
    Monica’s gone away
    Maybe Miss. America would come and play
    A little bit of Brittany would be nice
    A little bit of Hillary I'm on ice

    Bimbo number 5!

    Booty Call!

    (Spoken)
    Hey baby!
    Have you ever been involved in a forty billion investigation?
    As a matter of fact my condoms do have the presidential seel on them
    Hey, want to see the Eagles beak get real big
    (ha ha ha ha ha)

    Note to myself
    Nail her latter

    (Chorus)
    A little bit of Monica, ohhh no more,
    A little bit of Jennifer, out the door,
    Jennifer Lopez, in my bed,
    A little bit of Hillary, now I'm dead!

    (Talking)

    Oh I do love New York!
    Won't you please elect my wife?
    Ya know, get her out of the house,
    'cos yeah I got yard work to do, yeah that's right
    Yard Work

    Oh, excuse me? Bimbo number Six?
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    (Original post by 4Ed)
    BIMBO NUMBER 5 LYRICS

    (Talking)

    Ladies and gentlemen. Where is bimbo number 6?

    (Sung)

    One, two, three, four, six
    Everybody in the car, let's go have sex,
    To the hotel around the corner,
    The girls want to do the president,
    But I really don’t wan-na
    Get caught like I did last year
    I'll find a new girl with a great big rear,
    I had Monica, and Jennifer, Paula, and Kathleen
    And maybe five other girls in be-tween
    But I like to try a new piece of pork
    When old pumpkin legs is in New York
    If she’s alive I will try to jump her,
    Then I will dump her.

    (Chorus)
    a little bit of Monica, ohh no more
    a little bit of Jennifer, out the door
    a little bit of Paula, on the bed
    a little bit of Hillary, now I'm dead!

    Bimbo number five!

    Pull your pants down,
    And toss it on the ground,
    Now bark like a hound,
    And I'll make a doggy sound,
    I'll chase you,
    And you chase me,
    And if I get caught,
    Will you spank my fanny please?
    Clap your hands once,
    Here’s a big surprise,
    Everyone was wrong,
    It points to the right!

    (Chorus)
    Monica’s gone away
    Maybe Miss. America would come and play
    A little bit of Brittany would be nice
    A little bit of Hillary I'm on ice

    Bimbo number 5!

    Booty Call!

    (Spoken)
    Hey baby!
    Have you ever been involved in a forty billion investigation?
    As a matter of fact my condoms do have the presidential seel on them
    Hey, want to see the Eagles beak get real big
    (ha ha ha ha ha)

    Note to myself
    Nail her latter

    (Chorus)
    A little bit of Monica, ohhh no more,
    A little bit of Jennifer, out the door,
    Jennifer Lopez, in my bed,
    A little bit of Hillary, now I'm dead!

    (Talking)

    Oh I do love New York!
    Won't you please elect my wife?
    Ya know, get her out of the house,
    'cos yeah I got yard work to do, yeah that's right
    Yard Work

    Oh, excuse me? Bimbo number Six?
    lol - yeah i heard that when i was on holiday in holland
 
 
 
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