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Girlfriend too insecure/self-conscious!
I'm going to generalise here but many girls that I know (and what most people agree on) is that most girls are pretty self-conscious when it comes to their looks etc. Not at all, of course, but my girlfriend at times is really self-conscious and sometimes it gets to a point where it becomes slightly annoying for me - I'll try explain.
Every time I'll try pay her a compliment or anything she'll straight away think I'm just lying or something and rarely takes it in a nice way (in that she accepts it). It's not that I say it to get anything out of it - just obviously sometimes she'll look extra nice or something so I'll comment on that but she always think she looks "ugly" or whatever. She isn't at all and most definitely not to me so I can't really understand why she feels like this.
The time's it gets annoying is when I'll say it and she'll just really disagree and think I'm lying or whatever and just saying it "to be nice". Of course I'm not gonna say she looks crap because that would be really insensitive but I wouldn't lie about that either, could easily choose to not comment on it. I've told her this but she sometimes persists a lot and it comes to a point where I feel it's pointless to try be a bit nice and sweet by paying her a compliment because she just won't take it well most of the time.
Every time I'll try pay her a compliment or anything she'll straight away think I'm just lying or something and rarely takes it in a nice way (in that she accepts it). It's not that I say it to get anything out of it - just obviously sometimes she'll look extra nice or something so I'll comment on that but she always think she looks "ugly" or whatever. She isn't at all and most definitely not to me so I can't really understand why she feels like this.
The time's it gets annoying is when I'll say it and she'll just really disagree and think I'm lying or whatever and just saying it "to be nice". Of course I'm not gonna say she looks crap because that would be really insensitive but I wouldn't lie about that either, could easily choose to not comment on it. I've told her this but she sometimes persists a lot and it comes to a point where I feel it's pointless to try be a bit nice and sweet by paying her a compliment because she just won't take it well most of the time.
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Reply 2
Every time she doesn't thank you and put out for a compliment give her a spanking..she'll soon start accepting them..
Reply 3
...at least she'll be less likely to cheat on you
Reply 4
"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."
Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
If you want my advice, ignore benjamin2k. But we all do anyway.
Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
If you want my advice, ignore benjamin2k. But we all do anyway.
Reply 5
Your loss as I give the best advice on how to treat a girl
(edited 4 years ago)
Reply 6
say that to her. most girls are like this because of some sort of depravity, be it large or minute, in childhood. for whatever reason they missed out on attention somewhere down the line. i dont mean to sound insensitive but its essentially well disguised attention seeking. i can see how it would annoy you because it really winds me up when people dont accept what i say, especially when i go out on a limb too make them feel good.
as for advice? there is little you can do. its a personal thing, and therefore reconcilement can really only come from within. unfortunately its probably a case of like it or lump it. let her know that it is causing a problem for you and could ultimately cause the relationship to end (if you feel like that).
as for advice? there is little you can do. its a personal thing, and therefore reconcilement can really only come from within. unfortunately its probably a case of like it or lump it. let her know that it is causing a problem for you and could ultimately cause the relationship to end (if you feel like that).
Reply 7
benjamin2k
Your loss as I give the best advice on how to treat a girl
Imaginary girls don't count Benjamin
Reply 8
benjamin2k
Your loss as I give the best advice on how to treat a girl
Straight out of a Jeremy Clarkson autobiography.
Reply 9
axhdn
say that to her. most girls are like this because of some sort of depravity, be it large or minute, in childhood. for whatever reason they missed out on attention somewhere down the line. i dont mean to sound insensitive but its essentially well disguised attention seeking. i can see how it would annoy you because it really winds me up when people dont accept what i say, especially when i go out on a limb too make them feel good.
as for advice? there is little you can do. its a personal thing, and therefore reconcilement can really only come from within. unfortunately its probably a case of like it or lump it. let her know that it is causing a problem for you and could ultimately cause the relationship to end (if you feel like that).
as for advice? there is little you can do. its a personal thing, and therefore reconcilement can really only come from within. unfortunately its probably a case of like it or lump it. let her know that it is causing a problem for you and could ultimately cause the relationship to end (if you feel like that).
this.
Reply 10
You can't win.
If you compliment her, she's too insecure to believe it.
If you don't compliment her, she'll just become more insecure thinking you genuinely don't think she looks good.
If you compliment her, she's too insecure to believe it.
If you don't compliment her, she'll just become more insecure thinking you genuinely don't think she looks good.
Reply 11
I am/used to be an annoying insecure girl, so I have the inside scoop 
1) Talk to her about it. Probably "you irritate me" is a little bit harsh, but say it hurts that she doesn't trust you/ believe you etc
2) Plead with her to address the issues behind her insecurity
3) Don't stop complimenting her (if you mean it) it probably won't help her issues
1) Talk to her about it. Probably "you irritate me" is a little bit harsh, but say it hurts that she doesn't trust you/ believe you etc
2) Plead with her to address the issues behind her insecurity
3) Don't stop complimenting her (if you mean it) it probably won't help her issues
Reply 12
This video might help you to understand why she might feel this way:
http://www.mediaed.org/cgi-bin/commerce.cgi?preadd=action&key=241
Click on play under watch a full-length preview (there is a watermark but its the monologue which is the important part).
http://www.mediaed.org/cgi-bin/commerce.cgi?preadd=action&key=241
Click on play under watch a full-length preview (there is a watermark but its the monologue which is the important part).
Reply 13
Just look at some of the threads pn here and you'll see why. Eg. Best feature - tits, bum or legs.........how many guys makes a girl a slut?.......
Girls are always objectified in ways that guys never are. You'll blame her if she's not completely right, and you'll blame her when she cares about it.
Women like to think that society has become more inclined to feminist ways but it hasn't - it's a total lie.
To the OP - your girlfriend is like she is because society has made her that way. Blame yourself!
Girls are always objectified in ways that guys never are. You'll blame her if she's not completely right, and you'll blame her when she cares about it.
Women like to think that society has become more inclined to feminist ways but it hasn't - it's a total lie.
To the OP - your girlfriend is like she is because society has made her that way. Blame yourself!
Reply 14
benjamin2k
Your loss as I give the best advice on how to treat a girl
The 'best' aka the worst advice. Don't worry Benjamin, your crappy advice all over TSR hasn't gone unnoticed.
Reply 15
un-jardin-sur-le-nil
The 'best' aka the worst advice. Don't worry Benjamin, your crappy advice all over TSR hasn't gone unnoticed.
Lots of men have PMd and repped me to thank me for it
Reply 16
benjamin2k
Lots of men have PMd and repped me to thank me for it
Yeah, desperate losers who consider it a great achievement to simply talk to a girl. Well done.
chocolat_chic
Just look at some of the threads pn here and you'll see why. Eg. Best feature - tits, bum or legs.........how many guys makes a girl a slut?.......
Girls are always objectified in ways that guys never are. You'll blame her if she's not completely right, and you'll blame her when she cares about it.
Women like to think that society has become more inclined to feminist ways but it hasn't - it's a total lie.
To the OP - your girlfriend is like she is because society has made her that way. Blame yourself!
Girls are always objectified in ways that guys never are. You'll blame her if she's not completely right, and you'll blame her when she cares about it.
Women like to think that society has become more inclined to feminist ways but it hasn't - it's a total lie.
To the OP - your girlfriend is like she is because society has made her that way. Blame yourself!
Lol @ "blame yourself" I do agree with this. It's all about objectifying girls and all this "it's what on the inside that counts" crap that's what gets me. Why can't everyone just admit that there has to be an attraction there? Unless there are exceptions, which there clearly will be, if someone fancied you but you didn't like them back physically yet they had the best personality out there then clearly it's not what on the inside that counts if you don't want to be their boy/girlfriend because of their looks.
Anyway going slightly off topic, sorry, but your girlfriend is like that because of society nowadays that makes us feel like we have to be perfect
Just really reassure her that she is beautiful (or whatever) and don't just say it to her, face her and look into her eyes while you compliment her lol - that's more effective.
Reply 19
Was she ugly before or has someone in her past say she was ugly maybe that stayed with her.
Or she could just be attention seeking
Or she could just be attention seeking
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