Guys would you be annoyed if...

9

I've been with my boyfriend for a couple of months now, and the other weekend my ex (who i had a relationship with for 9 months and whom I havent seen or spoken to in the past 5 months) asked if I wanted to meet up with him for a drink one evening to catch up.

He's asked me this twice now since february and the previous times I knew I wouldnt feel comfortable with it, but this time I thought why not- it seems a waste to ruin what a good friendship we had. So I agreed to see him this saturday after work.

I havent told my boyfriend about this- I want to tell him and ask if he'd be alright with it but I'm not sure what he would say. It's not like me and my ex are getting together in any way, I'm not even slightly attracted to him anymore, its literally just for a catch-up. It's also not like its been a seriously long time with my current bf anyway, its only been a couple of months and I dont feel like I should have his consent to meet up with an old friend who he knows I'm well and truly over..

What do you think?

Reply 1

Drunk Punx

19

I'm always slightly hesitant about a girlfriend seeing an ex, and I always have certain reservations about it; not because I don't trust the girlfriend, but because I wouldn't trust the ex.

Just explain the situation to your boyfriend and see what he says.

Either that, or just go and see your ex, catch up, then tell your boyfriend afterwards.
I don't know your boyfriend, so I can't judge how he's going to react to either situation.

Reply 2

MuseValheru

klipsan

I've been with my boyfriend for a couple of months now, and the other weekend my ex (who i had a relationship with for 9 months and whom I havent seen or spoken to in the past 5 months) asked if I wanted to meet up with him for a drink one evening to catch up.

He's asked me this twice now since february and the previous times I knew I wouldnt feel comfortable with it, but this time I thought why not- it seems a waste to ruin what a good friendship we had. So I agreed to see him this saturday after work.

I havent told my boyfriend about this- I want to tell him and ask if he'd be alright with it but I'm not sure what he would say. It's not like me and my ex are getting together in any way, I'm not even slightly attracted to him anymore, its literally just for a catch-up. It's also not like its been a seriously long time with my current bf anyway, its only been a couple of months and I dont feel like I should have his consent to meet up with an old friend who he knows I'm well and truly over..

What do you think?

This early in your new relationship I would say that it is a bad idea. Although it is completely innocent it sends bad signals to a partner as your ex could still be deemed a threat, afterall you did spend 9months with him, I mean who knows you better?

Reply 3

Kerplunk18

5

klipsan

I've been with my boyfriend for a couple of months now, and the other weekend my ex (who i had a relationship with for 9 months and whom I havent seen or spoken to in the past 5 months) asked if I wanted to meet up with him for a drink one evening to catch up.

He's asked me this twice now since february and the previous times I knew I wouldnt feel comfortable with it, but this time I thought why not- it seems a waste to ruin what a good friendship we had. So I agreed to see him this saturday after work.

I havent told my boyfriend about this- I want to tell him and ask if he'd be alright with it but I'm not sure what he would say. It's not like me and my ex are getting together in any way, I'm not even slightly attracted to him anymore, its literally just for a catch-up. It's also not like its been a seriously long time with my current bf anyway, its only been a couple of months and I dont feel like I should have his consent to meet up with an old friend who he knows I'm well and truly over..

What do you think?

It is a bad idea even though it seems alright to you your boyfriend will see it in a totally different light all this will do is cause arguments between you

Reply 4

Fame Kills

I don't think you should, especially if hes the jealous type. Put yourself in your boyfriends position, how would you feel about him meeting an ex?

Reply 5

RocknRose

8

klipsan

What do you think?

The only way to answer this is, how would you feel if your boyfriend met up with his ex - just for a catch up?

If you think you'd be okay with it, then go.

However, I've always believed that an ex is an ex for a reason and meeting up with him this once could bring up the past again or it could turn into a routine and then next thing you know, you're making out with him behind your boyfriends back...

Just saying.

If however you were friends before then maybe there is a possibility that your ex wants to meet up with you so you can be friends again.

Reply 6

RocknRose

8

And yeah, since the relationship is fairly new it would probably not be a good idea to meet up with your ex anyway as it might cause arguments/problems.

Reply 7

Lilrascal19

14

klipsan

I've been with my boyfriend for a couple of months now, and the other weekend my ex (who i had a relationship with for 9 months and whom I havent seen or spoken to in the past 5 months) asked if I wanted to meet up with him for a drink one evening to catch up.

He's asked me this twice now since february and the previous times I knew I wouldnt feel comfortable with it, but this time I thought why not- it seems a waste to ruin what a good friendship we had. So I agreed to see him this saturday after work.

I havent told my boyfriend about this- I want to tell him and ask if he'd be alright with it but I'm not sure what he would say. It's not like me and my ex are getting together in any way, I'm not even slightly attracted to him anymore, its literally just for a catch-up. It's also not like its been a seriously long time with my current bf anyway, its only been a couple of months and I dont feel like I should have his consent to meet up with an old friend who he knows I'm well and truly over..

What do you think?

I went to see my ex at the beginning of our relationship.
Not a bad idea from my side, as with you, we had a very good friendship.

But for my boyfriend, he wasn't happy at all and I can understand why.

There must be something that is making you want to see him and to say 'it seems a waste to ruin a good friendship,' seems to me as an excuse for you to go and see him. If it was such a good friendship why did you stop contacting each other?

It also depends on your current boyfriend, what type of person is he?
If you and your ex were friends during the time you and your current boyfriend were getting together and your current boyfriend was aware of this, then this might be a different story however you say you haven't spoken to your ex in 5 months, that obviously happened for a reason.

How do you know your ex hasn't got other intentions other than meeting up as friends?

Would you be happy if your boyfriends ex rung him up and ask to meet and he agreed to it and went? (And don't say yes just because your trying to justify yourself for going yourself.)

To be honest, having gone through that experience, I personally do not think it is a good idea.

Reply 8

benhughes08

2bh he would be annoyed and worried cos all boys see other boys as competition with them and they all think that they are trying to take there girl. its just a self defence thing all boys do so he probs will be annoyed n may cause arguements

Reply 9

khaa9666

as long as there is no bumming involved then its fine, there really should be a little known thing that you don't see much these days in your relationship, it used to be called trust but i havent seen any for a few years, i blame hollyoaks.

Reply 10

klipsan

OP

9

Thanks everyone, I think I'll turn my ex down politely (wish I hadnt left it so late though lol)..
I think it's the pressure of having turned him down twice now to meet up that I feel like this time I should make the effort (which i shouldnt do)- but yea, not whilst I'm in a relationship with my current bf... because I know I wouldnt be happy if he were to see an ex..

Reply 11

Meh.

Don't say no straight away if you actually want to see him. Ask to see how your boyfriend feels first of all... he may really appreciate being asked first that he can see that he means more to you - and therefore consenting.

Reply 12

sbarrie2

14

This is like friends. When Monica seen Richard and Chandler found out in the plane to vegas. He wasnt happy.

Reply 13

username291885

3

Don't do it without telling him. Otherwise your boyfriend is going to wonder what you had to hide when he finds out.

Reply 14

JB Johnstone

It would be best to tell your bf beforehand, just let him know that it's just catching up, you're happy with your bf etc.
It would be better to do that than for your bf to find out afterwards - you don't want him to think you're hiding anything.

Reply 15

nihility

13

klipsan

I've been with my boyfriend for a couple of months now, and the other weekend my ex (who i had a relationship with for 9 months and whom I havent seen or spoken to in the past 5 months) asked if I wanted to meet up with him for a drink one evening to catch up.

He's asked me this twice now since february and the previous times I knew I wouldnt feel comfortable with it, but this time I thought why not- it seems a waste to ruin what a good friendship we had. So I agreed to see him this saturday after work.

I havent told my boyfriend about this- I want to tell him and ask if he'd be alright with it but I'm not sure what he would say. It's not like me and my ex are getting together in any way, I'm not even slightly attracted to him anymore, its literally just for a catch-up. It's also not like its been a seriously long time with my current bf anyway, its only been a couple of months and I dont feel like I should have his consent to meet up with an old friend who he knows I'm well and truly over..

What do you think?

seems like you need more convincing than your bf will.

Reply 16

HARRY PUTAH

14

He is after one thing and it doesn't include your personality.

Reply 17

Cultivated

2

My previous boyfriends have all met up with their exes for drinks/chat/whatever - I don't really care, it's beyond my power. They broke up for a reason and if there's chemistry, I 'trust' him enough to let it pass. If he then comes back and tells me she was hitting on him, I wouldn't be the happiest person but wouldn't be that bothered :p:

I think the new guy always feels like he has to compete with the ex, probably because you have a history with him and it could bring memories/feelings back to life. Do tell him though, he'll find out one way or another, you don't want it to become a bigger issue than it is.

Reply 18

'Shadowplay'

2

I don't think there should be a problem if you just tell your current boyfriend before you meet with your ex. If you lie, he might take it offensively. And if he feels bad about it, thats a bit selfish... you're aloud to have friends even if it includes your ex. Anyway thats my point of view :smile:

Reply 19

missygeorgia

18

You really should have told your boyfriend about it. You haven't done anything wrong saying you'll see your ex, but you have done something wrong by hiding it from your boyfriend, and he has a right to be really pissed off at you for that. If my boyfriend arranged to see his ex and hid it from me that would mean a potential break up.

Tell your boyfriend as soon as possible, and ask him how he feels about it. If your boyfriend's really unhappy with it consider cancelling. Your current boyfriend's feelings are more important than having a friendship with your ex.

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