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    Jobs for GELs Bill - The Great and Glorious Jangrafess and RobbieC Coalition
    Jobs for GELs Bill

    An act altering the employment criteria regarding Good English Lads (GELs).

    BE IT ENACTED by The Queen's most Excellent Majesty, by and with the advice and consent of the Commons in this present Parliament assembled, in accordance with the provisions of the Parliament Acts 1911 and 1949, and by the authority of the same, as follows:-

    1. No business may employ a non-British worker over a GEL for purely profit-related reasons.

    (1) All UK businesses must ensure that they do not crumble in the face of market pressures and employ cheaper foreign labourers over GELs.

    Set wages are to be enforced based on the industry, not the ethnicity of the workers. This will prevent exploitation of foreign workers in vulnerable circumstances, and ensure employment for British nationals.

    (2) For the purposes of this act, a GEL is defined thusly:

    G.E.L - The Good English Lad, ala Wayne Rooney, Al Murray and Peter Kay. A worker, who through their nationality, despite being the most vile of scrotes and unmannered of persons, can get away with anything on the domestic stage, including elbowing someone in a night-club/punching a bouncer. These persons are sometimes gifted with superpowers, like the ability to appear comically gifted despite doing nothing more than drinking beer and discussing biscuits, and being able to run faster than light despite eating egg and chips for every meal, and drinking the fat from the chip pan as a beverage. These persons will be loved by all that follow, God Save the Queen... and heaven help us all. They are exemplified by their grit, dedication to Engerland and their indefatigable attitude. They are what makes Britain Great and despicable.


    2. Enforcement and Punishment

    (1) Businesses employing over 20% foreign workers will be subject to a Freedom Of British workers 'FOB' tax, doubling the NI contributions for those additional employees (both theirs and their employers).

    (2) All businesses employing over 50% foreign workers will be taken over by an elite committee headed by a GEL-in-the-know in order to restore suitability to the workforce.

    3. Exemption

    (1) The only businesses exempt from such taxes will be lower league football clubs, on the basis that those foreigners will rise to the top of the pyramid sooner or later anyway, and the club shall once again be overwhelmed by GELs, and other loyal British skinheads.

    4. Commencement, short title and extent

    (1) This Act may be cited as the Jobs for GELs Act 2010
    (2) This Act shall come into force at the end of the period of two months beginning with the day on which it is passed.
    (3) This Act shall extend to all of Britain.
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    Britain does not mean England and as such this bill disenfranchises three of the four nations of the United Kingdom. A fascinating regurgitation of the British Jobs for British Workers routine but no thanks.
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    (Original post by Adorno)
    Britain does not mean England and as such this bill disenfranchises three of the four nations of the United Kingdom. A fascinating regurgitation of the British Jobs for British Workers routine but no thanks.
    Aww come on, this bill gives you a chance to be petulant about Wales! What more could you want?
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    (Original post by Jangrafess)
    Aww come on, this bill gives you a chance to be petulant about Wales! What more could you want?
    I'd be against statements such as Welsh Jobs for Welsh Workers too.
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    Hai guys. Feel free to make lots of helpful suggestions for revisions... we'd be happy to comb them in, or mop out any of the stuff you don't like.

    Can you tell I am a lovely guy?

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    (Original post by Adorno)
    Britain does not mean England and as such this bill disenfranchises three of the four nations of the United Kingdom. A fascinating regurgitation of the British Jobs for British Workers routine but no thanks.
    This.
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    (Original post by RobbieC)
    Hai guys. Feel free to make lots of helpful suggestions for revisions... we'd be happy to comb them in, or mop out any of the stuff you don't like.

    Can you tell I am a lovely guy?

    Suggestions:

    Scrap the Football Forum language.
    Stop interchanging British with English.
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    (Original post by Thunder and Jazz)
    Jobs for GELs Bill - The Great and Glorious Jangrafess and RobbieC Coalition
    Jobs for GELs Bill

    An act altering the employment criteria regarding Good English Lads (GELs).

    BE IT ENACTED by The Queen's most Excellent Majesty, by and with the advice and consent of the Commons in this present Parliament assembled, in accordance with the provisions of the Parliament Acts 1911 and 1949, and by the authority of the same, as follows:-

    1. No business may employ a non-British worker over a GEL for purely profit-related reasons.

    (1) All UK businesses must ensure that they do not crumble in the face of market pressures and employ cheaper foreign labourers over GELs.

    Set wages are to be enforced based on the industry, not the ethnicity of the workers. This will prevent exploitation of foreign workers in vulnerable circumstances, and ensure employment for British nationals.

    (2) For the purposes of this act, a GEL is defined thusly:

    G.E.L - The Good English Lad, ala Wayne Rooney, Al Murray and Peter Kay. A worker, who through their nationality, despite being the most vile of scrotes and unmannered of persons, can get away with anything on the domestic stage, including elbowing someone in a night-club/punching a bouncer. These persons are sometimes gifted with superpowers, like the ability to appear comically gifted despite doing nothing more than drinking beer and discussing biscuits, and being able to run faster than light despite eating egg and chips for every meal, and drinking the fat from the chip pan as a beverage. These persons will be loved by all that follow, God Save the Queen... and heaven help us all. They are exemplified by their grit, dedication to Engerland and their indefatigable attitude. They are what makes Britain Great and despicable.


    2. Enforcement and Punishment

    (1) Businesses employing over 20% foreign workers will be subject to a Freedom Of British workers 'FOB' tax, doubling the NI contributions for those additional employees (both theirs and their employers).

    (2) All businesses employing over 50% foreign workers will be taken over by an elite committee headed by a GEL-in-the-know in order to restore suitability to the workforce.

    3. Exemption

    (1) The only businesses exempt from such taxes will be lower league football clubs, on the basis that those foreigners will rise to the top of the pyramid sooner or later anyway, and the club shall once again be overwhelmed by GELs, and other loyal British skinheads.

    4. Commencement, short title and extent

    (1) This Act may be cited as the Jobs for GELs Act 2010
    (2) This Act shall come into force at the end of the period of two months beginning with the day on which it is passed.
    (3) This Act shall extend to all of Britain.
    HA amazing :cool:
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    (Original post by Smack)
    This.
    It is a clear and obvious fact about the Good English Lad as opposed to the Good Welsh Lad that he is in possession of more grit and determination, and is therefore more deserving of his hard-earned right - a job in the United Kingdom. Let's ignore silly things like Britishness and disenfranchisement, I say. That said, if you would like us to mop up the crumble and redefine the United Kingdom as England, that can also be done. GBL doesn't work so well as an acronym ffs. The GWL, the GIL and the GSL are also worthy members of the community, but it is the GEL who makes Britain as Great and trashy as it is.

    Long live Stevie G.
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    Not funny enough. The 'WTF party' were better.
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    Except Smack's Scots so probably doesn't want to be called a GWL either?

    What will be done to combat the sexist language and implications of this bill?
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    (Original post by reems23)
    Not funny enough. The 'WTF party' were better.
    We're not here to be funny ffs. Get out or respond to the content of the bill. :facepalm2:
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    (Original post by Adorno)
    Except Smack's Scots so probably doesn't want to be called a GWL either?

    What will be done to combat the sexist language and implications of this bill?
    Well interchange it with GSL then... I wasn't calling him one, I was using an example that was intentionally not specific to him.
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    And the sexism?
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    They're too busy cooking the egg and chips, which in itself is a fine job, and inspires more GELs to get in the mixer.
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    Absolutely not...morally wrong and economically suicidal.
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    (Original post by Jangrafess)
    It is a clear and obvious fact about the Good English Lad as opposed to the Good Welsh Lad that he is in possession of more grit and determination, and is therefore more deserving of his hard-earned right - a job in the United Kingdom.
    Really?
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    (Original post by Smack)
    Suggestions:

    Scrap the Football Forum language.
    Stop interchanging British with English.
    Thank you for your suggestion. I want to know what you think the specific references to football are, so we can remove them?

    I am such a nice guy, I really am
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    The days of a reasonable MHoC are over judging by this.
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    (Original post by Smack)
    Really?
    He's right tbf. Makes perfect sense.
 
 
 
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