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Boyfriends parents don't like me

They were fine with me at first but I don’t think they realised we’d stay together as an LDR when he moved away to uni. They seem really pissed off that he comes back just to see me sometimes. I encourage him to see his parents more and would like to go round more, but they seem increasingly frosty and will shout at him in front of me for various misgivings. I think that they’re under the impression that I’m stealing their son.

They went away for two weeks over his holidays and left him, so he lived with my parents for easter, then when they came back they were pissed off that he didn’t spend 24/7 with them. I feel a bit excluded, I’m hardly ever invited for dinner, whilst my parents love having him with us. His mum refused to have me at her birthday dinner, but my dad was chuffed that my boyf came with us for his birthday meal.

Now his sister has a new boyfriend, and he ate tea with the family and I just wasn’t invited, despite me being down the road. Now I’m usually the first one to say don’t take face book seriously, but upon his sisters new relationship status, his mums workmate commented how excited she and her mum were, and hadn’t she done better than *insert boyf’s name here*. I didn’t know what to make of that!

I’ve made an effort, I bought them xmas presents, I took his sister to alton towers, I cleaned the house after his sister had a house party and trashed the place. I just feel awkward now though, like they blame me for their son not being there.

Advice?

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Reply 1
If the only reason they're being like this is because of the LDR then I think they're being unreasonable.

Anonymous
his mums workmate commented how excited she and her mum were, and hadn’t she done better than *insert boyf’s name here*. I didn’t know what to make of that!


Mention this to your boyfriend and hopefully he'll ask his parents about it. I think it's really rude to talk like that about you over Facebook where anybody can see it!
Reply 2
Join the club.
Ugh. If at all possible you need to stop caring. It is lovely when you have a partner with a decent family but ultimately you're not going out with them so you just have to rise above it. You've been civil so there's nothing more you can do, really.

Also the Facebook comment is unthinkably rude. They sound childish.
Reply 4
Ooh, I'm sorry you're going through that! They sound like they are being very unreasonable! Has your boyfriend asked them about it? They have to have a valid excuse for not inviting you for dinner..
Reply 5
You do not automatically have a right be liked, just because you are shagging their son.
If they do not like you, perhaps they have good reasons.
Reply 6
What are your boyfriends views on the matter?
Reply 7
They just think your not good enough for their son, prove them wrong.
I think you should talk to your boyfriend about this - as he should stick up for you in these situations. It sounds like you have been making the effort, so at least you know it is probably not your fault.
I suppose all you can do is encourage your bf to go round more often when he comes back to see you, perhaps go over with him for dinner etc.
Reply 9
Perhaps put a whoopie cushion under his Mums cushion or something?

Might lighten the mood.
Reply 10
i dont know any of these people but that story has disgusted me

how can people be so ignorant of the feelings of others?
Reply 11
Just give up and do what makes you happy.

I'd have commented after the lady on fb too.


Don't bother trying to please. I'd have your boyfriend address this problem, not you. It's his mother.
The not wanting you at his mum's birthday dinner sounds reasonable I think; my mum's very into 'birthdays are family days' and wouldn't let anyone that wasn't family come no matter how closely linked/well liked they were. The rest sounds unfair though. Like people have said, talk to your boyfriend and get him to talk to his mum about it.
Reply 13
fire2burn
What are your boyfriends views on the matter?


That they're a bit weird because thy don't see him often, I see him more and they think he prefers me to them. That isn’t my fault though!

I commented on the face book thing saying, oh what’s wrong with me eh :P, and she just put oh nothing hun, only joking.

I don’t have that much in common with them but I try. I talk to his dad about footy and stuff and clothes with his mum! When I was with my boyf I bought a frappucino for her and we took it to her work to give it her, she just looked pissed off that when I put it down the condensation dripped onto the surface and she had to wipe it. I went for a meal with her and my boyf a few weeks ago because he invited her to lunch with us and it was ok, but at the end there was this awkward moment where she hugged my boyf and kissed him all over, then just sort of looked at me and said bye :/

I don't think I've done anything wrong or impolite, not that I can think of.
Reply 14
Anonymous
They were fine with me at first but I don’t think they realised we’d stay together as an LDR when he moved away to uni. They seem really pissed off that he comes back just to see me sometimes. I encourage him to see his parents more and would like to go round more, but they seem increasingly frosty and will shout at him in front of me for various misgivings. I think that they’re under the impression that I’m stealing their son.

They went away for two weeks over his holidays and left him, so he lived with my parents for easter, then when they came back they were pissed off that he didn’t spend 24/7 with them. I feel a bit excluded, I’m hardly ever invited for dinner, whilst my parents love having him with us. His mum refused to have me at her birthday dinner, but my dad was chuffed that my boyf came with us for his birthday meal.

Now his sister has a new boyfriend, and he ate tea with the family and I just wasn’t invited, despite me being down the road. Now I’m usually the first one to say don’t take face book seriously, but upon his sisters new relationship status, his mums workmate commented how excited she and her mum were, and hadn’t she done better than *insert boyf’s name here*. I didn’t know what to make of that!

I’ve made an effort, I bought them xmas presents, I took his sister to alton towers, I cleaned the house after his sister had a house party and trashed the place. I just feel awkward now though, like they blame me for their son not being there.

Advice?


how long have you been dating?
Reply 15
Your boyfriend should be taking more of a stand for you. His parents are being absolutely ridiculous (the facebook thing, what the hell?!). Unless he doesn't care whether you and his parents get along - some don't - in which case you can stop bothering to make them like you.
Thta is an awful situation to be in. Has your boyfriend ever had a serious conversation with his parents about this? And I dont mean just a simple talk, I mean a proper conversation about why they wont give you a chance. He should also mention the facebook thing, that is out of order.
Kattt_452
Join the club.


This.

I had to accept pretty straight away that she was going to resent me 'corrupting' her little boy. :rolleyes:
Reply 18
Anonymous
That they're a bit weird because thy don't see him often, I see him more and they think he prefers me to them. That isn’t my fault though!

I commented on the face book thing saying, oh what’s wrong with me eh :P, and she just put oh nothing hun, only joking.

I don’t have that much in common with them but I try. I talk to his dad about footy and stuff and clothes with his mum! When I was with my boyf I bought a frappucino for her and we took it to her work to give it her, she just looked pissed off that when I put it down the condensation dripped onto the surface and she had to wipe it. I went for a meal with her and my boyf a few weeks ago because he invited her to lunch with us and it was ok, but at the end there was this awkward moment where she hugged my boyf and kissed him all over, then just sort of looked at me and said bye :/

I don't think I've done anything wrong or impolite, not that I can think of.


Stop trying so hard - if they don't wanna accept you then they won't no matter what you do. At least they are willing to see you face-to-face, I've been with my fiance for over 4 years now and his family still refuses to meet me.

Horrible as it might feel it's not the end of the world, and don't let it risk ruining your relationship as that will just give them what they wanted while hurting you.
I don't think there is really any point in trying to get 'in' with them anymore. His mum sounds like she's posessed by the devil. I would suggest either showing her this page to make her feel guilty (only if she has a conscience) or take her little boy and run away with him, far away.
That FB comment was childish and hurtful. That's def part of the reason why you should give up on them.