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Can a relationship survive without sex? watch

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    Basically, i've gone off sex and my other half keeps going on about how he misses the closeness it brings us and we keep arguing whether that's related or not.

    But my question is, if i never wanted sex again could our relationship survive?
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    Yes...
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    But it obviously does bring you closer.
    But it definitely can survive without it.

    Uhm, why would you go off of it? o.O
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    some can

    yours obviously won't though.. if you both went off it it'd be a different story.
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    It's possible and as people grow older much of a relationship is based on companionship. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm 19 and I wouldn't want my boyfriend to stop wanting to have sex with me. It would make me feel quite rejected and worried that he didn't love me anymore. It's natural as time goes on to have sex less than in the intiail stages of a relationship, but I don't think at this age that it should completely disappear. i'd be concerned for my relationship if we just stopped having sex, but maybe I'm placing too much importance on it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically, i've gone off sex and my other half keeps going on about how he misses the closeness it brings us and we keep arguing whether that's related or not.

    But my question is, if i never wanted sex again could our relationship survive?
    Never wanting to have sex again makes your other half feel like you don't actually love him but rather than using him for financial support.

    There are reasons people do not have sex with other partners and thats one of the indication. I mean, if my girlfriend avoided the situation of having sex and decided not to have sex...then i would think why? Depending on her reason, she just decided not to have sex...i can't see it as a valid reason especially if we want children or unless she's worried about THAT responsibility if such scenario happened. Could that be your reason too?

    who knows..different girls work different ways.
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    No, not if you're arguing over it already, that means that your bf is in need of it and will simply believe there is a lack of love on your behalf! Sorry it's not what you wanted to hear...
    • #2
    #2

    I think it depends by relationship. We manage just fine, but I knew getting into this that my other half was a more conservative Christian than I was, and as time has gone on I've come around to his way of thinking. It's still bloody hard, but I see it as being for like a greater good or something. I think if it just came down to me thinking he didn't want to sleep with me then I'm not sure I'd cope. Every time I've got properly upset about this it's because I've started thinking it's about what he wants rather than what he feels he should do. And we can still snuggle :ninja: I think if somebody just didn't want to sleep with me I'd find that much harder.
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    Why have you gone off sex?
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    No. If a genuine relationship doesn't include sex you end up with priest-like problems.
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    If both of you agreed to not have sex then yeah its of course possible. However your partner and you have different desires and that may split you up.

    Your partner probably will feel that your lack of libido will reflect upon his efforts as a lover and that may bring further insecurity issues.

    I think you need to address why you have gone off it and then judge if you can either rekindle that phsyical love or find a partner who shares your views. I've gone off sex for months before just to bounce back and desire it pretty all the time.

    It may just be a phase.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Basically, i've gone off sex and my other half keeps going on about how he misses the closeness it brings us and we keep arguing whether that's related or not.

    But my question is, if i never wanted sex again could our relationship survive?
    Based on your circumstances, and the fact that he is asking you about it, no. Not everyone needs sex in their relationship for it to be a happy relationship, but many people do. If you want your relationship to work, you need to devote some energy to trying to understand why you've gone off sex. How long you have gone off sex is also relevant--a few days or a few weeks of dry spell is one thing. I would not be concerned at all. Relationships that have lasted for some time often go through dry spells, and cycles in sexual desire will happen.

    If it's been a few months or even longer, that's more difficult. Making your relationship work will require patience on his part. But you will also have to recognise that this is difficult and confusing for him. You might start by reassuring him that it's not that you want to have sex with other people, nor that you have ceased to find him attractive. Not wanting to have sex is sometimes the sign of something else. I'm not going to attempt internet-based psychoanalysis, but if there are other issues with your relationship or your life more generally, you might give that some thought. In my experience (and I have been on the other side of this equation twice), sex is important, and stopping having sex is a bad sign.

    Ultimately, sex might be a deal-breaker for him. It would be for me. A dry spell is one thing, but a permanent lack of sex drive is something entirely different. Few adults wish to be in relationships without sex. If that's the case with him, I'm afraid there's very little you can do to change that. But a good start would be talking about it with him *fairly* openly. I would advise you not to raise concerns about whether you will never want to have sex again. Those concerns will already be present in his mind, by the sound of things; raising them in so many words will not contribute to the discussion of your present circumstances.

    In short, a relationship can only survive without sex if both parties are honestly happy to be abstinent. Some people here might say that he should change his mind, and that I should not advise you to reconsider your position. He should be patient with you for a while. At the same time, you should be considerate of his wishes. He is right to want to talk about the fact that you no longer have sex. It is a significant issue, at least to him, and side-lining it will do your relationship nothing except harm. (Again, I speak from experience here.) Your partner is very unlikely to cease wanting sex. While you might get him to be more considerate or patient, I expect that ultimately he will want to be with someone who wants to have sex with him. How patient he is and how long he waits will depend on the strength of your relationship and its circumstances, and how long you have been together. It is an open question whether your attitudes will change, but his are very unlikely to. His wanting sex is no more a flaw or personal failing than your not wanting it. Unfortunately your positions are, as they stand, irreconcilable.

    Good luck, feel free to get in touch if you have any questions. I have been down this path before.
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    Unless it was due to health issues, cultural issues or religious beliefs (the latter I wouldn't accept anyway), no I don't think most relationships can survive without sex.

    It's one of the most important things that distinguishes a relationship from friendship. Sexual frustration aside, it would leave the other partner feeling abandoned and unwanted... and generally a lack of sex indicates a problem in the relationship - and even if it wasn't, it would become a problem.

    OP, you seem pretty nonchalant about never wanting sex again. Have you considered maybe you're asexual?
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    (Original post by Mincan)
    Why have you gone off sex?
    I wanted to ask the same question. And how old are you??

    Sex is an essential part of a relationship. If it wasn't, you wouldn't be arguing about it now, or? :cool:
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    No, i don't think so tbh
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    im newly 18 and im not saying i never want to have sex again, im just worried in case that happens. this has happened before and lasted about 2 weeks, but its been nearly 2 weeks already. what hes failing to understand is why i used to be so interested in it and now im just...not.
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    (Original post by fourdigit)
    Never wanting to have sex again makes your other half feel like you don't actually love him but rather than using him for financial support.
    Of course that's what it means :rolleyes: What a ******* stupid thing to assume.
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    If my girl friend she didn't want to have sex with me anymore she wouldn't be my girlfriend for much longer.

    I consider sex part of a relationship, otherwise she is just a friend who I pay alot for.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by fourdigit)
    Never wanting to have sex again makes your other half feel like you don't actually love him but rather than using him for financial support.

    There are reasons people do not have sex with other partners and thats one of the indication. I mean, if my girlfriend avoided the situation of having sex and decided not to have sex...then i would think why? Depending on her reason, she just decided not to have sex...i can't see it as a valid reason especially if we want children or unless she's worried about THAT responsibility if such scenario happened. Could that be your reason too?

    who knows..different girls work different ways.

    By the way...i work. so how can i be using him just for financial support??? plus, thanks, im not that type of girl! im madly deeply in love with him and we've been engaged since february and are looking for a place to move in together.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    By the way...i work. so how can i be using him just for financial support??? plus, thanks, im not that type of girl! im madly deeply in love with him and we've been engaged since february and are looking for a place to move in together.
    Ignore the fools saying no sex = using other partner for money. No sex for a couple of months, and a lack of sex drive really does change the relationship into more of a friends thing instead of a romantic relationship though...

    If you've gone off sex before for a couple of weeks, and it's been a few weeks now, it doesn't sound too bad. How long have you been with your boyfriend? I think it's sounds like it's really a case of lack of communications, you need to sit down with him, and explain that it's not that you don't fancy him/find him attractive, and that it's not that you want to have sex with other people, it's just you've just gone off the idea of sex for a little bit - maybe reassure him by saying that you'll probably want sex again in a little while.

    If however, you don't think your sex drive will come back - maybe you need to think about reasons why that could be... things like the pill etc can affect your sex drive - might be worth looking into!
 
 
 
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