I'll try and keep this short.
My sister, who goes to one of the best universities in the country, has progressively gone completely blind over the past 3 months. We are all devestated. She was so happy, outgoing, kind, friendly, open, bubbly. She is now an insecure and unhappy person.
Lately she has been taking it out on me. She lives at home in a different city to me. She was going to go to France on Erasmus this September. I am moving there in 2 weeks time. I have a few money problems (I don't live at home, so have had to go down the loan and overdraft route), and have never taken my degree as seriously as she does.
I called her today and she started crying down the phone and saying "You're nott taking anything seriously, you glide through life and it's insensitive. I'm stuck here, my life is ruined, and I never did anything wrong." She was crying and crying and so was I, and then she said "I can't talk to you anymore. I feel so sad. I can't talk to you until you've changed your attitude."
Afterwards I sent her text telling her I need her, I love her, I'm sorry. She hasn';t replied.
My heart is breaking. Why did this happen to HER? I know how she must be feeling: disappointed, so sad, angry at the world, alone. A lot of her friends have dropped her because of this blindness, and her social life which used to be so interesting is disappearing. She must feel bitter and hopeless and just afraid.
What can I do? I feel so guilty for going away, for starting my life (I graduate this summer and wanted to stay in France indefinitely). I feel so sad and angry for her, but she's pushing me away, and I don't know how to be myself but be able to be there for her. My heart is breaking for her and I'm so confused.
Oh I should also mention - she's 20 and I'm 23, and whilst I've never been into my degree, it's not like I'm ******* up or anything: I'm expecting a 1st or 2:1
I can't say I've ever been in this situation before but you just need to stick around for her. Make sure she knows you'll always be there to chat to, to take her out, to make her feel less lonely and more happy again. Of course, that alone won't fix her emotional turmoil. The girl is going through a lot and I honestly can't imagine what it's like for her.
Let her be depressed, let her get angry and upset. It will be a long-haul journey for you, and hard, but you seem to love her very much so it's great you'll be there for her. In a year, or two's, time, and certainly further into the future, you may have been her lifesaver.
Sorry to hear about that, but if she's gone blind why did you send her a text?
I feel for you. But that's life, these things happen.
Try and show her you are working hard and stuff, when she becomes aware of this maybe she will be okay.
Just let her know you will always be there for her.
Any chance of her eyesight improving?
*deep breath* OK guys, I'll say it again. My brother reads her her texts.
Hope you enjoyed feeling like some sort of cyber Sherlock for a minute there.
I've personally never been in this kind of situation before, but I can say that it is unfair. But as the cliche goes "life is unfair" -- and it is! She can't let this get her down, and she certainly can't push her anger and blame onto her loved ones because that's not fair either. She can feel confused and upset for a while, but she should look out inspiring stories of people who have conquered disabilities or handicaps to achieve great things (Paralympic athletes anyone?). She has the ability to do great things too.
Don't beat yourself up. She needs to come to terms with this in her own time. She's most likely just jealous that you have your sight. Leave her a message or call her tell her you love her but she can't hold you personally responsible for what has happened.
She's angry, I think I would be to. Of course she's taking it out on you, we normally take stuff out on those we are closest to. However angry you are, she's about 100 times that.
All I can say is that I wouldn't put your life on hold for her; in years to come she'll probably feel guilty and you might start to resent her for it. You sound close -just try and keep that, without it affecting you too much long-term, if you know what I mean. Good luck!
very sad how did she go blind so quickly? just look after her and be there for her she has a right to be angry and upset etc
You don't have an obligation to work hard at uni, do what you want.