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How many of us still believe in marriage? watch

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    (Original post by mangomaz)
    I would actually say its the other way around... people spend too long trying to find out as much as they can about the other person because theyr convicned for marriage to be viable the other person has to be 'perfect' for them.

    You will never find the perfect person!!!! Theres always going to be problems, its just overcoming them which is easy if you share similar values and know whats important to you both.

    I think there was a report a while ago that said that divorce rates were higher with those that had spent longer dating than those who had gotten married quicker. But I dont have the source for it it was about a year ago that I read it.. ill try and find it later.

    You're right, the perfect person doesn't exist. It's more a point of working at your marriage and making it work. In the past, divorce wasn't an easily achieveable thing so people were more likely to work on their problems as opposed to giving up and splitting up. You can get divorced about as quickly as you can get married nowadays, (how long till you can do both over the net?) is this the reason?
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    (Original post by Cazzi_Bear)
    i do believe in marriage, but nowdays the common trend is that people tend to get married way before they even know each other propaly.

    In our society now, people dont seem to go out on dates as much as they used to, which reduces the amount you learn about each other (eg going to a resturant and having a good chat) most people nowdays just seem to jump into relationships. So as a concenquence, some people do get married and discover they didnt really know or like the person enough to spend the rest of their lifes with them.
    Actually, I think that people nowadays know each other better than they would have done, say, a hundred years ago. The difference is that if it doesn't work out, divorce is an easy option where a hundred years people would have put up with a bad marriage because divorce was socially unacceptable. You are right, though, that some people jump into marriage far too quickly and are then amazed when it doesn't turn out to be the romantic perfection which they have created in their minds.
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    thinking about it, i suppose it could work both ways. You could split because u dont know the person well enough, or u could spit because you know them too well and get stuck in a rut (so to speak). Either way, people should always work at marriage, the vows are there for a reason!!
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    I certainly don't.
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    I am a firm believer in marriage and am looking forward to the day when I meet that special someone.
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    (Original post by lynseyweth)
    Not everyone can be tarred with the same brush though. Some people are nice to one another and can compromise which helps to maintain a happy and healthy relationship.
    THAT statement should be applied across the board - NOT just marriage. Unfortunately, as xx_ambellina_xx pointed out - it's not, is it.
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    (Original post by bodhisattva)
    THAT statement should be applied across the board - NOT just marriage. Unfortunately, as xx_ambellina_xx pointed out - it's not, is it.
    Are you married?
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    (Original post by Wowbagger)
    You're right, the perfect person doesn't exist. It's more a point of working at your marriage and making it work.
    What an excellent statement. Unfortunately - the latter part requires EFFORT - a dirty word in some people's vocabulary.
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    (Original post by Eeyore)
    Are you married?
    I would have been had she turned up at the church.
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    (Original post by bodhisattva)
    I would have been had she turned up at the church.
    Seriously? Ouch. :eek:
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    I don't necessarily believe in soulmates, or perfect partnerships or whatever - but I do believe in good relationships which can last as long as you need them to (a lifetime, ideally) and having a family etc. Just because many people don't find that good relationship first try is no reason to lose faith in the whole idea.

    Getting married sounds great - if women don't like their surnames they can change them, always handy... good excuse for a party your dad has to pay for, you get a cake and a ring and a dress.. what's not to like?
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    Ouch!
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    What are the positive legal rights you claim when you marry?
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    I definitely believe in marriage, as long as both partners put each other first and have a bit of faith.
    i think cos people nowadays r so used to getting what they want, if theyre partner doesnt immediately fulfil their expectations they head straight 4 divorce!
    I know that if i wasnt getting along with my husband I wouldnt just go out and have an affair, or end it with him - I'd talk to him about it, go to counselling and most importantly try and see things from his point of view.
    If two people dont compromise and lsiten to each other how do they expect to be able to have a good marriage?!
    Also i think some people place more importance on their career than their marriage. Im not blaming it on women (after all I am one) but some are so driven by their careers they dont have time to put in the effort for their husbands.
    It happens both ways tho, but ultimately I think as long as i choose a partner who appreciates me and is a good listener, I dont see why it cant work.
    otherwise whats the point in getting married in the first place?!
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    hehe.........not QUITE what I said at the time. Still.....ancient history.
    But I still believe in marriage - nothing to do with the religious aspect - but because of the PUBLIC commitment I believe it shows.
    Obversely - if I fell in love again - and that love was reciprocated - then if my partner DIDN'T wish to marry - then that's how it would be. Give and take and compromise.
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    (Original post by musicbloke)
    I don't think I'd ever get married. If I wanted to spend my life with someone and they wanted to spend their life with me then we would not need the state or a religious institution to declare it.

    MB
    but MB - you're forgetting the most important thing about marraige - the presents
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    If/when we decide to have children, my partner and I will marry. If not I don't see the point, I'm not religious and it's a lot of hastle for a small tax break!
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    I believe in marriage although it is not seen as so much of commitment and you can buy a divorce from tesco lol but I would like to settle down with someone who I would be confident I wouldnt want to divorce (if that last bit made complete sense)
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    (Original post by bodhisattva)
    What an excellent statement. Unfortunately - the latter part requires EFFORT - a dirty word in some people's vocabulary.
    unfortunately so.
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    I never believed in marriage. It's a contract on an emotion. Surely if you trust someone to that extent, you don't need a contract binding them to you. I don't want someone to love me because they declared years ago that they would, I want someone to love me because they naturally do, out of their own free will.

    If you found the *perfect* job, would you want to do it for life, knowing even if you wanted to, you could never leave it? I wouldn't. You don't know how you'll feel in 10, or 20, or 30 years. I'd probably never leave it, but I wouldn't want to feel like I had to work there if I started to hate it. That doesn't mean the job isn't perfect, that's just because your feelings in the future aren't known yet.

    It's impossible to promise to love someone forever, as it's impossible to know how you'll feel in 30 years. Signing a marriage contract is promising something you can't know. You can promise to stay with someone, but you can't promise to love someone. If you trust someone and feel confident in the relationship, all marriage adds is a contract, with rules and a get-out clause.
 
 
 
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