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    1. What action would you classify as too far over the line (for you personally) and would make you not want to be friends with a person ever again?

    2. If your friend said something that they knew would hurt you, and you felt that this now is a point of no return baring in mind that you have been friends for more than half a decade but then your friend said sorry, would you forgive them?
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    (Original post by tinshed)
    1. What action would you classify as too far over the line (for you personally) and would make you not want to be friends with a person ever again?

    2. If your friend said something that they knew would hurt you, and you felt that this now is a point of no return baring in mind that you have been friends for more than half a decade but then your friend said sorry, would you forgive them?
    this is obvius, someone has hurt you and you want uss to help guid you as to what you should do , poor you lol. The truth is that everyone will say somthing different. You need to think about yourself here. Has the friend upset you enough for you to feal like that, and think about what they where thinking when they said it, and what was their main motivator??
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    (Original post by Aquariumnerd)
    this is obvius, someone has hurt you and you want uss to help guid you as to what you should do , poor you lol. The truth is that everyone will say somthing different. You need to think about yourself here. Has the friend upset you enough for you to feal like that, and think about what they where thinking when they said it, and what was their main motivator??
    well thank you for your analysis lol but I want to know other people's situations and stories. I have made up my mind about what I will do but like I said I want to know what others have been through
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    Well there are many things that would make you not want to be friends with a person. How can we choose just one...?

    As for number 2: Why would you forgive the friend if you'd just said it had gotten "to a point of no return."
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    dont think there is anything they could do or say to piss me of to a point that I could never forgive them if they are genuily sorry. then again, thats probably just cause im 'too nice' (as quite close friends of mine at uni have pointed out after i told them about "friends" of mine in school ...)

    but yeah, if they are really important for me whatever happens id rather talk it through than throwing away the friendship
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    Not a lot, and as for the second question, surely the "point of no return" is just that? Otherwise, why label it as such? If you mean they said something that offended you and apologised, then I don't really see any problem anyway.

    I don't particularly care what friends say or if they attempt to insult me, I'll give it back and I'm not one to take it to heart. Obviously, there's a difference between banter and personal digs, but even with the latter, it would have to be extensive and particularly nasty for me to pay it any heed.
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    1. I don't know... if they slept with my boyfriend or killed my mum? I can't really think of many things tbh.

    2. It depends what was said, sometimes in arguments someone will say something they know will hurt you but they don't mean it. I don't think I'd throw away my friendship based on that, but then again I can't think of anything they could say that would hurt me very deeply.

    It might be easier for us to give you advice if you explain whats happened OP
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    1. What action would you classify as too far over the line (for you personally) and would make you not want to be friends with a person ever again?
    only one thing has ever made me fall out with someone and never be friends with them which was a convosation on the bus back from college, we were talking about high school with a girl i went to high school with and one i went to primary school with. and i said "well i never liked it (meaning high school)"
    and the girl i went to high school with said "it wasnt that bad, but then we werent all mad like you"
    i had depression, like the suicidal, self harming kind of depression, which was all summed up as "being mad"
    meh she was always selfish, and self obsessed...... she served me in argos at christmas wasnt very nice about it either!

    2. If your friend said something that they knew would hurt you, and you felt that this now is a point of no return baring in mind that you have been friends for more than half a decade but then your friend said sorry, would you forgive them?
    I did, i came home for a weekend from uni, had arranged to go for a few drinks with friends, the morning we were supposed to be going out i text a friend saying "cant wait to see you all later, " and he replied "oh didnt Amy telll you the plans have changed were going over to ems now"
    "um no" thinking how the hell can plans change when it was me that made the plans :| and they hadnt even invited me so i text amy and she replied
    "we went out last monday so we dont want to go out again so were going to em's "
    "ok thanks for inviting me, and considering im only back for the 1 weekend..."
    "well noone really likes you anyway, they never have, i just invite you to stuff to be nice" (the message said that + more which i dont remember was a year or so ago now)

    but me and her are friends again better than ever, my mum does now hate her though for being mean and letting me down so many times, meh oh well lol
    x
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    (Original post by tinshed)
    2. If your friend said something that they knew would hurt you, and you felt that this now is a point of no return baring in mind that you have been friends for more than half a decade but then your friend said sorry, would you forgive them?
    Well yes, I'm a forgiving person and I forget quickly (which is really useful, tbh).
    Dunno about the first one, though.
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    (Original post by kamc)
    1. I don't know... if they slept with my boyfriend or killed my mum? I can't really think of many things tbh.

    2. It depends what was said, sometimes in arguments someone will say something they know will hurt you but they don't mean it. I don't think I'd throw away my friendship based on that, but then again I can't think of anything they could say that would hurt me very deeply.

    It might be easier for us to give you advice if you explain whats happened OP
    what happened was (and this is from my point of view) she broke up with another of her bfs and again came to me for support but didn't get what she expected. now don't for a second think that I am a mean ***** because the reason I didn't want to listen to another of her "I don't know what he is thinking, what do you think?" is because I always have to listen to it. Being there for her is not the problem, the problem is when she turns around and says "I don't need *****y, unsupportive people like you in my life" baring in my mind that till this point (this break up of hers) I was there for her through her depression, when she was VERY sad about her break up, and I mean she was so sad that I couldn't even talk about my bf because she said "I don't want to hear about bfs at the moment, I am sad". Also she got very pissed off at me in October. one month later she calles me to have a go at me, I tell her that I just found out about my grand-pa's death and what does she do? she still has a massive go at me anyway.

    ok, fair enough she is being selfish and inconsiderate to my feelings and knowing myself I forgive her for that. but this time with this break up, the one time I don't want to listen to it she exploded and told me that I am unsupportive, never there for her and what's more she took what I told her once in confidence, something that was hurtfull for me to tell anyone, and she used it against me to purposly hurt me. She wrote two essays in two texts full of abuse, proper CRAP about how **** I am. In responce to that I told her that I feel free of her friendship.

    Some time later I wrote her an e-mail reminding her that we have a lot of friends in common and therefore we should be carefull not to make them feel awkward around us. Her reply to me was an apology for the way things happened and that if we think it's worth it then we should patch things up, more or less. Now after all the crap she sent me and all the abuse and all the "you don't care about me" I am faced with a choice - I make up with her or I leave it. And I don't have a clue what to do. Now knowing what she thinks of me, her "best friend", I don't ever want to see her face again and I always find it hard to forgive people. But on the other hand she is "sorry" the way things turned out and we have been friends for a long time. I just don't know. Sorry about the long text.
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    (Original post by tinshed)
    what happened was (and this is from my point of view) she broke up with another of her bfs and again came to me for support but didn't get what she expected. now don't for a second think that I am a mean ***** because the reason I didn't want to listen to another of her "I don't know what he is thinking, what do you think?" is because I always have to listen to it. Being there for her is not the problem, the problem is when she turns around and says "I don't need *****y, unsupportive people like you in my life" baring in my mind that till this point (this break up of hers) I was there for her through her depression, when she was VERY sad about her break up, and I mean she was so sad that I couldn't even talk about my bf because she said "I don't want to hear about bfs at the moment, I am sad". Also she got very pissed off at me in October. one month later she calles me to have a go at me, I tell her that I just found out about my grand-pa's death and what does she do? she still has a massive go at me anyway.

    ok, fair enough she is being selfish and inconsiderate to my feelings and knowing myself I forgive her for that. but this time with this break up, the one time I don't want to listen to it she exploded and told me that I am unsupportive, never there for her and what's more she took what I told her once in confidence, something that was hurtfull for me to tell anyone, and she used it against me to purposly hurt me. She wrote two essays in two texts full of abuse, proper CRAP about how **** I am. In responce to that I told her that I feel free of her friendship.

    Some time later I wrote her an e-mail reminding her that we have a lot of friends in common and therefore we should be carefull not to make them feel awkward around us. Her reply to me was an apology for the way things happened and that if we think it's worth it then we should patch things up, more or less. Now after all the crap she sent me and all the abuse and all the "you don't care about me" I am faced with a choice - I make up with her or I leave it. And I don't have a clue what to do. Now knowing what she thinks of me, her "best friend", I don't ever want to see her face again and I always find it hard to forgive people. But on the other hand she is "sorry" the way things turned out and we have been friends for a long time. I just don't know. Sorry about the long text.
    If this happened to me, my exact response would have been "I wish your mum had miscarried". My point being I have severed friendships for far less than that.
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    OP, you a majorly, majorly over-reacting. She was emotional and pissed off that you weren't there for her, and so she had a bit of a go at you. Thats not worth breaking off a friendship. Thats what friends do.
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    (Original post by in_vogue)
    OP, you a majorly, majorly over-reacting. She was emotional and pissed off that you weren't there for her, and so she had a bit of a go at you. Thats not worth breaking off a friendship. Thats what friends do.
    actually she told me that she doesn't want to be friends with me any more. I remaned very calm through this whole thing up untill her e-mail. yes people do get angry when they are upset and yes people say things they don't mean but what she said was beyond all that. I was very shocked. why can't I get this mad at the fact that I never got any support from her when my grand-pa died? and when I had a break up? and when things were tough for me? everyone gets pissed off once in a while but there is a boundary. Perhaps I am over-reacting a little bit but try to see it from my side - I don't want her to be tossing me back and forth every time she is angry - " I don't want to be friends, I hate you" , " I do want to be friends " . It's tiering and painfull every time she says I am never there for she. I am not in love with her but I do have strong friend-feelings towards her and being abused like that is hurtful
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    (Original post by tinshed)
    what happened was (and this is from my point of view) she broke up with another of her bfs and again came to me for support but didn't get what she expected. now don't for a second think that I am a mean ***** because the reason I didn't want to listen to another of her "I don't know what he is thinking, what do you think?" is because I always have to listen to it. Being there for her is not the problem, the problem is when she turns around and says "I don't need *****y, unsupportive people like you in my life" baring in my mind that till this point (this break up of hers) I was there for her through her depression, when she was VERY sad about her break up, and I mean she was so sad that I couldn't even talk about my bf because she said "I don't want to hear about bfs at the moment, I am sad". Also she got very pissed off at me in October. one month later she calles me to have a go at me, I tell her that I just found out about my grand-pa's death and what does she do? she still has a massive go at me anyway.

    ok, fair enough she is being selfish and inconsiderate to my feelings and knowing myself I forgive her for that. but this time with this break up, the one time I don't want to listen to it she exploded and told me that I am unsupportive, never there for her and what's more she took what I told her once in confidence, something that was hurtfull for me to tell anyone, and she used it against me to purposly hurt me. She wrote two essays in two texts full of abuse, proper CRAP about how **** I am. In responce to that I told her that I feel free of her friendship.

    Some time later I wrote her an e-mail reminding her that we have a lot of friends in common and therefore we should be carefull not to make them feel awkward around us. Her reply to me was an apology for the way things happened and that if we think it's worth it then we should patch things up, more or less. Now after all the crap she sent me and all the abuse and all the "you don't care about me" I am faced with a choice - I make up with her or I leave it. And I don't have a clue what to do. Now knowing what she thinks of me, her "best friend", I don't ever want to see her face again and I always find it hard to forgive people. But on the other hand she is "sorry" the way things turned out and we have been friends for a long time. I just don't know. Sorry about the long text.
    tbh, it does sound like you were overreacting, having a go at you after your Grandpa had just died was out of order but she has apologised.

    It may be worth being friends again, or agreeing to be on friendly terms, at least for the sake of your other friends. You don't have to be "best friends" but lifes too short for enemies imo.
 
 
 
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