Guilt over friend smoking hash...

In the past few months my best friend has started mixing with people who smoke quite a bit of hash. I don't like her, I don't like the way she is, and I hate being in her company when she's stoned. It seems to completly change the way she is, and we just clash really badly. I've told her before I don't like when she's been smoking, and thats led to her lying to me.. Telling me shes just had a few drinks, or that shes just "thinking about stuff" to explain her moods.

I usually see her every evening, but tonight, she's been smoking, and so I told her I'd rather stay in than go hang out with her when she's in one of these moods. She's made me feel really guilty for not wanting to see her because of the drugs, but I'm starting to get really worried about her now. She tries to smoke less, because she knows what I think of it, but she doesn't seem to be able too. She gets stoned at least 2/3 times a week, and I can only assume it's going to get worse once I've left for Uni, as she won't have to cover it for my sake. Any suggestions on how to get her to stop? Or help? I really don't know how I can get through to her.

Reply 1

SB

2

Hash isn't too bad as far as drugs go, and it could be a lot worse. That said, it can change peoples personalities permanently.

Don't get angry, instead sit her down (sober!) and explain how you feel. Say you don't like being with her when she's stoned and explain why. Make sure she knows what she's doing (it helps to read up a bit about the long term effects here, but don't try and scare her off it). Say you still want to see her, but only when she's sober, and ask her to keep the two parts of her life seperate.

Also, offer your support if she wants to stop and try and find out if there are any underlying problems... when I was smoking a lot a while back I wanted to get out of my head for a variety of reasons, and when those were sorted I stopped wanting to, so that might help. I know it's difficult, but stick by her.

I've been in her position, so if you do want to talk a bit more privately PM me with your MSN.

Reply 2

Mad4it_87

getting stoned 2 to 3 times a week is nothing! up until a couple of weeks ago i ben getting stoned everyday for the past 3 months and alot of ppl i hang round with get stoned daily. Your friend will not give it up unless she see's a REAL reason to. Also you say it changes her the from the way she is and you dont like being round her when stoned, now unless it has some abnormal unusual reaction to her brain then to be honest i cant quite see exaclty where your coming from. I would much rather be around ppl who are stoned than drunk because when ppl become stoned it usually makes them more sociable in a more sociable way, not the alcohol sociable where everyone is happy for one minute but the second someone does something the dont like a fight breaks out, ive seen it too often, but never ever have i seen anyone fight when stoned. Personally i would be worrying alot more about ppl who drink alot than get stoned. Just because alcohol is legal, ppl see it as socially acceptable and because hash is illegal alot of ppl have a negative approach to it when infact it is more sociable than alcohol by a long way!

Reply 3

frost105

14

My housemate used to smoke a lot and to be honest she used to drive me crazy when she was stoned. She'd giggle loads at stupid stuff or just lie on the sofa doing nothing. In the end we sat her down and explained how annoying it was and now she only get stoned when she's with her stoner mates and doesnt smoke when shes at the house.

Basically you cant make her stop just tell her you dont like hanging out with her when shes stoned so dont phone you when she is.

Reply 4

af1

i had the same problem with my best mate. his parents split up so he started smoking a lot of weed. he then got in with the wrong people, and because he was my best friend i used to do it quite a lot too. i didnt like it that much though and so stopped. he carried on going and i didnt speak to him for ages. he smokes a 20 bag a day and has developed a twitch. he is 500 quid in debt and is just a wreckhead. i just took the libertarian approach, its his life he can do what he wants. i had the willpower to stop and so if they really want to they should be able to.

Reply 5

piiiink

OP

I would be just as worried about a friend drinking every night. And being stoned around non-stoned people, isn't a sociable thing.. She just gets really.. Well, depressed. She's never very happy or fun when she's been smoking, which I realise not everyone can be happy all the time, but its only when she's smoking.

We had a chat last night, a really long one. She said she's gonna try and not do it anymore, because she doesn't even know why she's doing it. But now I feel I've forced her to do something she doesn't want. Or, to not do something she does want too. I realise she's doing this to please me, because she doesn't want it to come between us, and she got quite upset when I wouldn't see her because she was stoned.

And in reply to Mad4it_87, it does change how people are. The same as alcohol does. She doesn't change entirely, her "basic" personality is still there, but she just gets more pesimistic about everything, she just can't see the good about anything. It doesn't make her more sociable, and in my opinion, I don't know anyone who is more sociable when they're stoned. I don't agree that alcohol is an un-sociable thing either. I never fall out with people over small things, or fight, infact I usually tend to make quite a few more friends when drunk. Being stoned seems to make people more withdrawn. But as I've said, being stoned a few times a week, or being drunk a few times a week - both can be quite worrying, especially if the reason they give is "to fill some kind of gap".

Reply 6

sanelunatic

1

i think possibly the most simple solution would be to get stonned with her, there is nothing wrong with having a doobie every now n again, n that way u will both be high together and everything will make a lot more sense.

:biggrin:

Enjoy..

Reply 7

Mad4it_87

sanelunatic

i think possibly the most simple solution would be to get stonned with her, there is nothing wrong with having a doobie every now n again, n that way u will both be high together and everything will make a lot more sense.

:biggrin:

Enjoy..

lol...good call!

Guilt over friend smoking hash...

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