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Is my friend in the wrong or am I being unfair? watch

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    Anonymous or delete

    Heres the situation from the BEGINNNG.


    There was this girl I really really liked. But then I found out she fancies my friend and my friend made a bet with someone that he could have sex with her before the end of the year.

    My friend didn't like her at all, he only wanted sex. But I genuinly liked her. I knew he wouldnt stand a chance of doing this bet, so I just continued with what I planned on doing since I realised I like her(before the bet was even made) I slowly started moving to her(I'm inexperienced) and I sucessfully made her like me.

    I never openly told my friend "I like her" but it was really obvious I liked her so I didnt need to. He eventually realised I liked her so stopped flirting with her like he use to. He still flirted ocassionally, I dunno if being flirty is just part of his personality or if hes actually that bad of a friend. One time I got rejected, he was there and heard it so he must have known I was feeling down, but then a few days after that, one time shes flirting with him and he starts bragging to me how she really fancies him.

    Anyway, some complicated stuff developed between me and this girl and it didn't work out, I got rejected. It didnt just end there, it was kind of on/off so it was really hard for me to move on(it still kinda is). One time I thought I was back in there, she was flirting with me and me with her. Then we broke off for half term. the day we came back from half term and he was all over her, she as all over him aswell, I was obviously pissed off, so thats when I gave up on her and started moving on.

    I'm trying to move on(not gonna lie I still have some feelings) and then this bet thing resurfaces again and he started moving to her(openly and right in front of me) even though I'm moving on it still hurts me since I'm still hung up on her.

    Now, hes gonna go on a flipping date with her and I'm hurt and pissed off with him that he's doing that, its like rubbing salt on my wounds. To be fair to him, I've been giving off the impression that I dont like her anymore(to help me move on) so maybe he thought its okay to start moving to her. But still, I feel that he should atleast show some respect to me and not brag about it, rubbing it in my face. When he said hes going on a date with her I was in a pissed off state so I got really angry about some small joke that someone did to me, so he definitely knows I'm pissed off about what he's doing. But he's going on a date with her anyway.

    He knows I'm pissed off so I'll see what happens and if he still continues to brag about it and rub it in my face.

    But I don't wanna be angry with him if I'm being unfair. am I in the wrong? Or is he? Yes I will admit, I am a bit jealous, so I'm afraid that's clowding my judgement and I'm being unfair, which is why I posted this thread...

    what do you think...
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    anonymous or delete

    bump....
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    He backed off when you had a chance and once you got rejected he started making moves.

    I say you have the right to be upset, since I realize jealousy does that, but you can't hold him in the wrong just because the girl likes him more now.

    imo
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    I am inclined to say that your friend is in the wrong, because he doesn't even like this girl, he wants to use her, and doesn't seem to care about her feelings (and yours too) at all
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    anon or delete

    Hmmm well the bet is his main focus,he keeps on bragging about how he's gonna win it, but I guess it's possible that he likes her now, I dunno...I dunno how I should feel...I'm trying to move on, but this isn't helping.
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    If you like her that much pretending youve moved on isnt going to help. play the game back. be all over her. x
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    If he's just using her for sex, he's in the wrong.. That's never going to be 'right' really. People are making it sound like she's a possession for people to 'win' in a bet.
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    Anon or delete

    Na I don't wanna embarass myself. It's clear she doesnt like me, I don't wanna look like some desperate loser whos crazy about her.

    I want to move on and I am moving on. I still have some feelings for her but I really wanna forget about her and move on. I dont wanna get with her. But I just cant help feel really angry with my friend, I feel like i'm getting salt rubbed into my wounds..he knows I'm upset but I feel like he cares so much about this bet he doesnt care how I feel..If he spoke to me and asked me if it's always he made a move then I would have no problem..
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    anon or delete

    I meant "if its ALRIGHT he made a move then I would have no problem.."
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    anon or dleete

    I know hes in the wrong for using her to get sex. But in relation to me. Is he a scumbag for moving to her knowing my situation with her?

    sorry for bumping this but I really need more advice...
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    The problem with him is nothing to do with you. Yeah, it sucks that you like her too, but you never told him and guys can be kinda dense about that kind of stuff.
    What IS wrong with this guy is that he's manipulating and leading this girl on to win money, which isn't fair on her, at all.
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    Maybe bragging is his personality and he doesn't mean to hurt you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anon or delete

    Na I don't wanna embarass myself. It's clear she doesnt like me, I don't wanna look like some desperate loser whos crazy about her.

    I want to move on and I am moving on. I still have some feelings for her but I really wanna forget about her and move on. I dont wanna get with her. But I just cant help feel really angry with my friend, I feel like i'm getting salt rubbed into my wounds..he knows I'm upset but I feel like he cares so much about this bet he doesnt care how I feel..If he spoke to me and asked me if it's always he made a move then I would have no problem..

    Have you ever considered that both of them may be doing it to make you feel jealous? Think about it- he gets his ego boosted by having "won" the female- and she has the satisfaction of knowing there is some sort of competition over her- thus boosting her ego. The only way to make them both stop is to literally ignore it. Just act completely like it's not happening- maybe even make friendly gestures toward another girl. Then you'd have the effect of making her jealous that some other girl has something that she doesn't, and him jealous that she's jealous...if that makes sense xD
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    She's your ex, pretty much. You don't have rights to her anymore. I would simply ask my friend to not discuss his relations with her in front of me but tell him that he's welcome to do whatever he wants with her. You can't stop him but you sure as hell don't need to hear about it.
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    anon or delete

    I dont agree with what hes doing and I hope he doesnt win this bet.

    Dont get me wrong, I don't have any delusions about her seeing what a ******** he is and come running back to me. If she did come running back to me I would reject her. I'm past the stage of wanting to her with her.

    She's hurt me too much and she hasnt exactly been very nice to me recently. God knows why I still have some feelings for her...my friend using her is her problem. As a decent human being I hope she isnt dumb enough to falll into his trap, but it's her problem.

    Anyway...what I think I'll do is just try and distance myself from him and her as much as possible. I'm not gonna be an idiot about it and ignore them both, but I wont be making any effort with them anymore and I'll be colder towards them(especially him). I have no more respect for my "friend" he can go and do what ever he wants with her and win his bet for all I care....Sure I'm feeling a bit jelous but I'm more hurt by the fact that he would do this and brag about it without any respect for me, I thought he was a fairly good friend. I dont consider him a friend anymore.
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    Anon or delete

    (Original post by Schmokie Dragon)
    She's your ex, pretty much. You don't have rights to her anymore. I would simply ask my friend to not discuss his relations with her in front of me but tell him that he's welcome to do whatever he wants with her. You can't stop him but you sure as hell don't need to hear about it.
    Thanks, thats the kind of stuff I needed to hear...I'm furious that he keeps on bragging about it in front of me. I'm in no position to be saying whether or not he can do this or that with her, but I expected him to atleast show some respect to me and not rub it in my face.
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    I have thought about your dilemma for a while and I have come to the conclusion that anon or delete.
 
 
 
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