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i keep on hurting them and don't know what to do watch

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    i never thought id actually start a thread here but here it comes, and i try to keep it as short as possible.

    so, i started uni in september and got really close to two people, a guy and a girl, and we are closer to each other than anyone else we have known before.

    they give me loads of support and made me realise quite a few of my issues (self esteem, self destructive tendencies, feeling of abandonment) which pretty much all link back to my family, and i went to counselling and they advised me to go therapy and i will start that soon.

    Anyway, the thing is, since a few months now everything seems to go downhill... it started with them starting sleeping with each other which they told me as they didnt want to go behind my back, and my reaction to that was pretty much me getting trashed very often and telling them quite hurtful stuff aboutnhow they don't care about me etc. (for me, them sleeping with each other pretty much symbolised them being closer to each other than to me and not caring about me... by now they actually consider dating which kinda kills me too, although i want them to as it would make them happy) ... well, we sorted that kinda out (as drinking is one of the issues i go completly overboard with) and it got better, but the girl was really hurt and she took some distance as she couldnt deal with it, which resulted in self hatred, depression and suicidal thought on my side, which eventually convinced me that i have to do something (that was the point when i went for counselling sessions).
    She then gave me another chance and for a while, it was really good, however, then I started to freak out on them for tiny things, telling them they aren't there for me and things like that, which I always really regretted later, but in the moment when I said it I just felt that they don't care ...

    anyway, I see how much it hurts them, and it is so terrible to talk to them about this kind of stuff, as they just care way too much about me, and also all the other stuff I'm doing to myself, like self harming, just hurts them so much. Today then, they actually planned the whole day just for me, with going shopping and then to the park, but when we met up I was really annoyed (which had to do with my parents, long story) yet when they asked me whats wrong i said im tired instead of telling them (one of the things thats a real problem, as they just want me to tell them when something is up) and it ended up with the girl leaving, me and the guy talking, later me and girl talking, and I hate myself so much for all of it. when im talking to them I can see the pain in their eyes and they are the only ones who truly care about me so I cant keep on doing this to them.

    And I told them that we should maybe just stop hanging out, as I believe they would be happier that way, but whenever I say this they just tell me that they can't do this and I should stop bein retarded etc.

    Basically, what can I do? or how can I handle situations where I get really pissed at them yet I know its not reasonable and they have done nothing wrong?

    any advice would be helpful, please

    (oh, and please keep anon)
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    Yeah, i'm not reading that :nothing:
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    15
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    You said you'll keep it as short as possible.
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    tl;dr
    will someone summarise?
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    (Original post by jumpingjesusholycow)
    Yeah, i'm not reading that :nothing:
    agreed :yep:

    solve the prob over some tea.
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    (Original post by JamJes)
    tl;dr
    will someone summarise?
    He made friends with guy and girl, they were really supportive. Due to mental health issues, he has been lashing out and being nasty to them, driving them away.

    What should he do?
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    Go to therapy. Your relationship with your friends sounds really complex and you need to talk these feelings through with a professional. Get a referral to a therapist tomorrow. If you want to, tell your friends you still love them but want a bit of space, just for a while.
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    Pretty sure you've already posted this.
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    (Original post by ac132)
    Pretty sure you've already posted this.
    So? He has a genuine, persistent problem..

    OP just tell them what you posted here, that you understand you're inappropriately touchy sometimes and you both can't help it sometimes and regret it, that and seek therapy
 
 
 
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