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Do girls really get put off If a guy they like doesn't approach them much? watch

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    Hi

    There is a Girl at 6th form College that I like. I have been told that I am a good looking guy and she did compliment me and gave me signs. The thing is I didnt talk to her much(we are on the same courses and leture) as I was a bit shy. So the year went by and I could tell that she was a bit annoyed. She is the outgoing type. Anyway we exchanged numbers and I aplogises to her for not approaching her and she gave me a "I dont care so you dont need to explain" short text which totally got me off guard!

    Is it true that some girls can get annoyed like that and even if they did like you just the mere fact that the guy didnt make much of an effort to talk to her face to face put her off enough to get a text like that?

    I feel low and a bit stunned to be honest. Is it me? I knew she liked me initially.

    Please serious replies, I would like a girls prespective too on here. Bear in mind that she is an outgoing talkative type. Did she just not like me in the first place despite all the signs?
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    I think they do - which is why this social convention that says it should be only men who should approach girls and not the other way around needs to be destroyed. The world would be a happier place if women did more approaching.
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    Yes it's true.
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    But im annoyed that ive spectacurlalry lost my chance because i didnt approach her...and now she doesnt want to know me despite liking me? Do girls minds really work like that? its not as if ive said something to upset her.
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    I'm hungry. I'm going to to go and eat a sandwich, probably a chicken a sandwich, and then lie in the hammock in the garden.
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    (Original post by Chocothunder)
    I'm hungry. I'm going to to go and eat a sandwich, probably a chicken a sandwich, and then lie in the hammock in the garden.
    :yep:
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    (Original post by peace800)
    But im annoyed that ive spectacurlalry lost my chance because i didnt approach her...and now she doesnt want to know me despite liking me? Do girls minds really work like that? its not as if ive said something to upset her.
    It’s just human nature, we all like to have our egos stroked to some point, I think she probably would have found it very complimentary if you had initially approached her, maybe you could make it up now by being more proactive about the whole thing now? Approach her some more?
    (Original post by QwentyJ)

    I think they do - which is why this social convention that says it should be only men who should approach girls and not the other way around needs to be destroyed. The world would be a happier place if women did more approaching.

    Don't some people find that a bit 'desperate' it's gender stereotyping really, but it would make me (and I think maybe a lot of other girls too) very cautious about ever approaching someone.
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    (Original post by peace800)
    But im annoyed that ive spectacurlalry lost my chance because i didnt approach her...and now she doesnt want to know me despite liking me? Do girls minds really work like that? its not as if ive said something to upset her.
    I don't think you've lost your chance but if she's friend zoned you ......well
    Do you think she's annoyed only from a text. Has she stopped talking to you afterwards
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    No our texting has been very friendly. Nice banter. But when i aplogised to her for not approaching her in colleg i got that reply. I was gobsmacked. It made me think she never liked me anyway despite her giving me signs(sure signs) and then im thinking maybe because i used to walk past her at times and never even approach her (me shy) that that text came to me.
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    dude girls are really crazy you cant predict a girls mind coz you never kno who they work,so i think jus go and talk to her and be honest and say that you were a bit shy to talk to her and you like her,and hopes she understands and if not you know what they say "THERE ARE LOTS OF FISH IN THE SEA"
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    I think the real problem is you made yourself look like a bit of a pussy. Or to put it more nicely, needy/clingy. Girls don't like that.

    Why did you apologise for not approaching her and getting her number sooner? You basically handed her the power and gave her the opportunity to crush you, whereas you should be giving the impression you're not that bothered.
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    I can't believe no one has pointed out yet that what's really annoying here is you actually apologizing for not approaching her.

    And, to answer the thread title, yes, we are like that. It's an instinct, regardless of all kinds of suggestions that we should do some more approaching. It goes something like this: we know you are men. And men are known for being active rather than passive, i.e. when they want something done, they just do it. So if they haven't, it's only because they never wanted to. So why even bother going up to them if we already "know" they're not interested (given they've never really shown interest)?
    And if that seems like a shallow generalization, ...well then I guess this is just the kind of men mother nature designed us to feel attracted to (I mean the active type).

    EDIT: I was late. Someone'd said that already xD
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    Your apology made you sound weak.. Instant turn-off.. She probably feels rejected because she made it blatently obvious that she liked you and you didn't make a move.. Also, if there are 'sure signs', stop being a pussy and GO AND APPROACH HER!
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    (Original post by Chocothunder)
    I'm hungry. I'm going to to go and eat a sandwich, probably a chicken a sandwich, and then lie in the hammock in the garden.

    Sandwich, chicken sandwich, chicken, eggs, born, bred, the chicken or the egg, human animals, bipedal animals, mammals, birds, flight, food :eek3:
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    yep but it works the other way to,
    -shy girl
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    Yes, it's true.

    Yes, she may have gone off you because of it.

    Yes, that's happened to me before. It was just a bit of a silly situation all around.

    But I bet that if you started chatting to her, say at a party or a concert, you'd probably be able to win her back over
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    (Original post by QwentyJ)
    I think they do - which is why this social convention that says it should be only men who should approach girls and not the other way around needs to be destroyed. The world would be a happier place if women did more approaching.
    Amen to this
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    yes.
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    Maybe she is confused about the signals you are sending out to her. Its not nice when you like someone who doesn't like you back and by not talking to her she might see it as you not actually being that keen on her. Therefore her response was possibly more to protect her own feelings and pride than actually being mad at you.

    At least that's what I would feel...
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    (Original post by didka8)

    And, to answer the thread title, yes, we are like that. It's an instinct, regardless of all kinds of suggestions that we should do some more approaching. It goes something like this: we know you are men. And men are known for being active rather than passive, i.e. when they want something done, they just do it. So if they haven't, it's only because they never wanted to. So why even bother going up to them if we already "know" they're not interested (given they've never really shown interest)?
    And if that seems like a shallow generalization, ...well then I guess this is just the kind of men mother nature designed us to feel attracted to (I mean the active type).
    This is all true, but it must change.
 
 
 
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