boyfriend wont let me go round to his place Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
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we've been going out for nearly 2 years now and he doesn't want me going round to his place (house share so has a small room and all other areas are communal). I saw the place before he moved in but not since been round. I recently confronted him about this and he says its because he's messy and doesn't want me thinking less of him. I reassured that this wouldn't happen but he didn't respond and we haven't spoken since is his excuse acceptable?
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christykai1049
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
we've been going out for nearly 2 years now and he doesn't want me going round to his place (house share so has a small room and all other areas are communal). I saw the place before he moved in but not since been round. I recently confronted him about this and he says its because he's messy and doesn't want me thinking less of him. I reassured that this wouldn't happen but he didn't respond and we haven't spoken since is his excuse acceptable?

hmm...maybe turn up without notice. might be a bit mean, but at least you'll know he's not hiding anything from you. turn up with a bottle of wine and some junk food and ask him if you could have a night in watching films together.

if he still refuses, tell him that everyone's entitled to be pretty messy now and then. and he's a guy, so it's very understandable. offer to help him tidy up, maybe that'll work.

good luck
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Oldernotwiser
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Maybe its not the alleged mess hes worried about...?
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ilovepolska
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#4
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well, maybe it's because of his parents or he's embarassed or something.
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Rock68
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(Original post by ilovepolska)
well, maybe it's because of his parents or he's embarassed or something.
doesnt live with family just a house full of lodgers.
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Oldernotwiser
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Maybe hes given one of the lodgers the impression that hes single and interested in them? He might well be bedding one of them ?
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forgetful-fairy
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#7
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Maybe he just doesn't think it's the right area for you to go to, he wants things to be nice with you and it's probably not quiet or nice to hang out in. Considering he has no personal space there apart from his room, I don't think it's the worst thing although you could ask to just go round for a bit? Meet the others before going out somewhere, just sort of slowly get round to going there more often?
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Rock68
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(Original post by forgetful-fairy)
Maybe he just doesn't think it's the right area for you to go to, he wants things to be nice with you and it's probably not quiet or nice to hang out in. Considering he has no personal space there apart from his room, I don't think it's the worst thing although you could ask to just go round for a bit? Meet the others before going out somewhere, just sort of slowly get round to going there more often?
tried to slowly introduce this but he would just be adamant he'd meet me else where
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steeler4life
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Maybe he's married and doesn't want you meeting his wife..
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forgetful-fairy
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#10
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Then it sounds a bit dodgy, do you know any of the people he's lodging with? Also, how old are you both?
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Rock68
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#11
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(Original post by steeler4life)
Maybe he's married and doesn't want you meeting his wife..
i very much doubt hes married
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Nick Longjohnson
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#12
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He's probably embarrassed about the state of the place
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Rhadamanthus
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#13
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He has a cage full of shiksas in there. :sexface:
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Rock68
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#14
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(Original post by forgetful-fairy)
Then it sounds a bit dodgy, do you know any of the people he's lodging with? Also, how old are you both?
no i dont know anyone he's lodging with i've only been round once before he moved and didn't meet anyone that time.
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Doc(1/cosC)
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#15
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.... hey.. i just wanne say ... the most important thing to guy's is a bit of privacy ... so if u was to invade his flat, he would have nothing to himself... and who knows maybe someone else is involved in your little ''equation'' between u n ur bf
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forgetful-fairy
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#16
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Don't suspect him of anything if it doesn't seem likely, as Doc(1/cosC) said, men do need their privacy, for it to be 2 years everything else must be going ok.
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Rock68
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#17
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(Original post by Doc(1/cosC))
.... hey.. i just wanne say ... the most important thing to guy's is a bit of privacy ... so if u was to invade his flat, he would have nothing to himself... and who knows maybe someone else is involved in your little ''equation'' between u n ur bf
thats what this is leading me to think of to but i really hope this isnt the case
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Rock68
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#18
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(Original post by forgetful-fairy)
Don't suspect him of anything if it doesn't seem likely, as Doc(1/cosC) said, men do need their privacy, for it to be 2 years everything else must be going ok.
we havent spoken to each other since i confronted him with the matter a few days ago where do you think i should go from here?
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Apocalypti
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#19
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#19
Just dump him.
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forgetful-fairy
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#20
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Is it an unusual for the lack of conversation? If he's acting suspicious now then I think it's time for the talk.

EDIT: Mind you, there might be some issues that he can't explain that don't relate to cheating on you, I can get jealous or paranoid about my boyfriend and he really hasn't done anything wrong, you need to talk to him again to sort it, just tell him to be honest.
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