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    I don't know what I'm asking here, I know I'll get the same old sarky remarks but I just really really need to talk to someone and I don't know who. I don't even have anyone I can talk to.

    I'm dangerously close to the edge right now, I really do want to kill myself. I've been getting "psychiatric help" for a long time, I've taken so many antidepressants and antipsychotics and I've had all kinds of different therapies. Nothing works. At all. I feel completely hopeless. Last time I saw my psychiatrist she said basically "well....drugs don't work for you, I dunno maybe it's your personality?". I don't know what kind of personality makes someone hear and see **** and feel awful for years on end but I do know personality disorders are untreatable and I'm stuck with it. I feel so hopeless, ok yes I'm finally stopping all these awful drugs with horrible side effects but I feel terrible. It's so hard to think, I can't do revision for university, I'm really depressed and every time I look at my arms I see the cuts I have to make. Just constantly I feel a huge urge to self harm, everything is going round and round in my head everything is just really bad right now and the idea that things are going to be like this forever and doctors can't help me is pushing me right to the edge. I feel so useless and hopeless and just complete ****. I've hated the last few years so much and struggled constantly but I always did what doctors said and now they admit actually they can't help. What the **** am I meant to do? The only thing that kept me going was maybe just maybe one day everything will be ok but it's not going to happen. I don't see much point in carrying on.
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    Find something to work towards and do it. Sounds to me like you want a better personality, so chase that. You can change your personality so why don't you spend your time improving it to become who you want. At least this will keep your mind off suicide.

    But please make sure you don't misplace your iPod.
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    There are other treatments aside from drug therapy for personality disorders. You could try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, where you have one on one session to identify where all this stress is coming from; you won’t have the side effects and will actually be addressing the root of the problem, not just the symptoms of it. If you manage to get it under control uni could provide a whole new set of experiences and support groups for you, so try and concentrate on getting there. What do you think is causing all this anxiety anyway, is it a social problem, or have you been diagnosed with some kind of a disorder?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't know what I'm asking here, I know I'll get the same old sarky remarks but I just really really need to talk to someone and I don't know who. I don't even have anyone I can talk to.

    I'm dangerously close to the edge right now, I really do want to kill myself. I've been getting "psychiatric help" for a long time, I've taken so many antidepressants and antipsychotics and I've had all kinds of different therapies. Nothing works. At all. I feel completely hopeless. Last time I saw my psychiatrist she said basically "well....drugs don't work for you, I dunno maybe it's your personality?". I don't know what kind of personality makes someone hear and see **** and feel awful for years on end but I do know personality disorders are untreatable and I'm stuck with it. I feel so hopeless, ok yes I'm finally stopping all these awful drugs with horrible side effects but I feel terrible. It's so hard to think, I can't do revision for university, I'm really depressed and every time I look at my arms I see the cuts I have to make. Just constantly I feel a huge urge to self harm, everything is going round and round in my head everything is just really bad right now and the idea that things are going to be like this forever and doctors can't help me is pushing me right to the edge. I feel so useless and hopeless and just complete ****. I've hated the last few years so much and struggled constantly but I always did what doctors said and now they admit actually they can't help. What the **** am I meant to do? The only thing that kept me going was maybe just maybe one day everything will be ok but it's not going to happen. I don't see much point in carrying on.
    You have been to doctors and everything else so there is not much real advice anyone on here can give you except the usual stuff.
    But i do want to ask, how old are you?
    My Cousin, my Godmother and my Mum all suffered with problems i can relate to yours, all at the ages 17-21, each lasted for a good 4-6 years, but.. they got over it. Now they are happy as hell..

    ..and are all lucky enough to be related to me haha xD

    What im trying to say is, it will change one day, it never feels like it when your right in the middle. Just like a break up, you think your life sucks ass, but then one day you wake up.. and your fine.

    Just try to be as strong as you can.. know that everytime you dont self harm or anything like that.. your beating your feelings. It takes real strength to resist things like that and carry on with your life.. any old weak person would give up straight away.
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    I think you've got yourself in a bit of a rut. being depressed is making you even more depressed; sometimes, you do have to try and work it out yourself. theres only so much others can help you in making you feel good about yourself.
    Do you have someone to talk to? Someone that always cheers you up?
    or something you want to do? there are so many options and opportunities out there honey don't feel down
    :jumphug:
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    (Original post by Broderss)
    Find something to work towards and do it. Sounds to me like you want a better personality, so chase that. You can change your personality so why don't you spend your time improving it to become who you want. At least this will keep your mind off suicide.

    But please make sure you don't misplace your iPod.
    How do you mean? I know I have a **** personality, my complete lack of friends for my entire life confirms that. I don't know how it's **** though I just know I'm extremely unlikeable. I don't know how to change it to make it better.

    (Original post by Farooqi bean)
    There are other treatments aside from drug therapy for personality disorders. You could try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, where you have one on one session to identify where all this stress is coming from; you won’t have the side effects and will actually be addressing the root of the problem, not just the symptoms of it. If you manage to get it under control uni could provide a whole new set of experiences and support groups for you, so try and concentrate on getting there. What do you think is causing all this anxiety anyway, is it a social problem, or have you been diagnosed with some kind of a disorder?
    I've had CBT, counselling, seen psychologists, even a group thing etc. That's what I mean, they can't actually help me so I'm stuck.

    I am at uni, not for much longer though, as I'm going to fail this year.

    (Original post by Tommyjw)
    You have been to doctors and everything else so there is not much real advice anyone on here can give you except the usual stuff.
    But i do want to ask, how old are you?
    My Cousin, my Godmother and my Mum all suffered with problems i can relate to yours, all at the ages 17-21, each lasted for a good 4-6 years, but.. they got over it. Now they are happy as hell..

    ..and are all lucky enough to be related to me haha xD

    What im trying to say is, it will change one day, it never feels like it when your right in the middle. Just like a break up, you think your life sucks ass, but then one day you wake up.. and your fine.

    Just try to be as strong as you can.. know that everytime you dont self harm or anything like that.. your beating your feelings. It takes real strength to resist things like that and carry on with your life.. any old weak person would give up straight away.
    I'm 21, this has been going on for many years and going by what my psychiatrist said it's unlikely to ever go away.


    I should add before anyone else does, I've done the whole exercise, walking, good diet etc stuff. I haven't only relied on doctors.
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    Dont listen to the doctors saying its a personality thing! Doctors are often wrong.

    Focus on how good you are going to feel as you progress towards getting better and being able to furfill your true potential. Because you DO have a future, and it is going to be better than the life you have today. Look at all the examples of people who have learnt to live with psychiatric stuff and go on to survive, live, thrive! Stephen Fry being the most obvious example.

    I know its tough, tougher than anybody here can maybe imagine, but keep going. The struggle is going to end, things will get better, like they did for Stephen, much better. If you let it all slide away then you will never get the chance to enjoy it when it gets better.

    Take some time out. Dont do anything, just get comfortable with yourself again. Then you can start moving forward, without doctors all talking talking, not helping helping. Then get a new doctor who will help you look at your issues from a fresh perspective, no labels. Then you can really start to make progress and get rid of some of the baggage in your mind and really start moving forward.
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    Cry to the One who made you and knows you so very perfectly. God never refuses the cry of a child in need. There is a hymn that has the lines to something of this effect- the only requirement of Jesus is that you feel your need of Him.

    In other words, we don't know how little we really know about ourselves- but He who made us was nailed to a tree in order to reconcile us to Himself. He knows all your thoughts and your tears, and the only thing to do is to humble yourself before Him and just cry out to Him.

    Our extremeties and problems are His opportunities to show forth his strength and his so tender lovingkindness. He has done so with me and so many other children of God. The only thing that keeps us from God is ourselves. Whatever it is- Jesus knows all about it and since He knows more than we do, it is wrong to ignore Him!
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    I would focus on one thing at a time and try not to look at the big picture. If treatments/medication aren't working for you, tell the people who are trying to help and see what else there is on offer. Maybe you should also sit back and see if you can work out why things aren't working or if anything is holding you back. I agree with what's been said- being depressed and stuck in a rut makes you more depressed but you have to try and find a way out of it. You can get better and you don't have to spend the rest of your life like this.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't know what I'm asking here, I know I'll get the same old sarky remarks but I just really really need to talk to someone and I don't know who. I don't even have anyone I can talk to.

    I'm dangerously close to the edge right now, I really do want to kill myself. I've been getting "psychiatric help" for a long time, I've taken so many antidepressants and antipsychotics and I've had all kinds of different therapies. Nothing works. At all. I feel completely hopeless. Last time I saw my psychiatrist she said basically "well....drugs don't work for you, I dunno maybe it's your personality?". I don't know what kind of personality makes someone hear and see **** and feel awful for years on end but I do know personality disorders are untreatable and I'm stuck with it. I feel so hopeless, ok yes I'm finally stopping all these awful drugs with horrible side effects but I feel terrible. It's so hard to think, I can't do revision for university, I'm really depressed and every time I look at my arms I see the cuts I have to make. Just constantly I feel a huge urge to self harm, everything is going round and round in my head everything is just really bad right now and the idea that things are going to be like this forever and doctors can't help me is pushing me right to the edge. I feel so useless and hopeless and just complete ****. I've hated the last few years so much and struggled constantly but I always did what doctors said and now they admit actually they can't help. What the **** am I meant to do? The only thing that kept me going was maybe just maybe one day everything will be ok but it's not going to happen. I don't see much point in carrying on.
    rrr poor you lol. The thing you need to do is stop self harming and instead sit back and think about why you are fealing bad. Once you find the reasons, you can start to work on whatever it is so that you feal better about yourself. With people fealing like you I think its more to do with that fact that if you have one problem in your life, you cant see past it, and because there will always be somthing, you let it drag you down. You need to be a bit more relaxed and stop constantly looking at teh downside of things. If you want to talk to anyone then by all means pm me lol. I know how it feals to have no friends, it makes people do prety bad things and behave in ways they wouldnt otherwise.
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    (Original post by Fang_RedDragon)
    Dont listen to the doctors saying its a personality thing! Doctors are often wrong.

    Focus on how good you are going to feel as you progress towards getting better and being able to furfill your true potential. Because you DO have a future, and it is going to be better than the life you have today. Look at all the examples of people who have learnt to live with psychiatric stuff and go on to survive, live, thrive! Stephen Fry being the most obvious example.

    I know its tough, tougher than anybody here can maybe imagine, but keep going. The struggle is going to end, things will get better, like they did for Stephen, much better. If you let it all slide away then you will never get the chance to enjoy it when it gets better.

    Take some time out. Dont do anything, just get comfortable with yourself again. Then you can start moving forward, without doctors all talking talking, not helping helping. Then get a new doctor who will help you look at your issues from a fresh perspective, no labels. Then you can really start to make progress and get rid of some of the baggage in your mind and really start moving forward.
    I'm sorry to sound like such a ****, but the medication works for people like Stephen Fry. I've seen interviews with him, he always says how he can't manage without it. It doesn't for me, I'm stuck like this.

    I had time out before, I left university and just focussed on trying to "get better" for several months. It didn't help so I returned to uni and everything is even worse.

    I see what you're saying about letting it slide away, but I'm really trying to stop that. I'm trying so hard to pass this year but I know I'm going to fail, and I'm nearly 22 so getting on a bit to be in university. I know I'm not that old, but I'm a fair bit older than most people in the same position, the problem is I feel like everything is already slipping away. I'm trying to stop it but I can't and I just feel like everything is going to get so much worse which I can't deal with. I mean how am I meant to feel good about myself when I fail university, doctors can't help me and I'm forced to sleep on my mum's sofa for god knows how long?

    (Original post by hannah_dru)
    I would focus on one thing at a time and try not to look at the big picture. If treatments/medication aren't working for you, tell the people who are trying to help and see what else there is on offer. Maybe you should also sit back and see if you can work out why things aren't working or if anything is holding you back. I agree with what's been said- being depressed and stuck in a rut makes you more depressed but you have to try and find a way out of it. You can get better and you don't have to spend the rest of your life like this.
    That's part of the problem. They've basically said there is nothing else on offer. I have tried so many different things and nothing has helped, I'm stuck with this.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's part of the problem. They've basically said there is nothing else on offer. I have tried so many different things and nothing has helped, I'm stuck with this.
    Maybe you aren't and if you are there must be some way to deal with it to make life a bit more bearable.
 
 
 
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