Short story for school magazine/original writing - any opinions?

Hey!

Would you mind reading this short story I have written for my school magazine and telling me if its any good, could me improved etc?

It's already deff going in - but I have till monday to email her any last minute changes to it.

Also - do you reckon its appropriate/good enough for my original writing cw. Bearing in mind I don't want to submit any thing that'll get less than full marks and bring down my average. (Teacher already says she thinks it will, but can't tell me for certain obv).

If you wouldn't mind answering say and I'll pm it to you. It's fairly short so hopefully wouldn't take too long and you would have my undying gratitude and possibly rep x

Reply 1

Kalliope

Thanks Coursework.Info but I don't give up that easy..

Please people!!

It won't take you long and it will make me a very happy person!! Comment here, I'm on TSR now, I'll pm it to you in under a minute - see it won't take long now will it? :smile:

It would be a very nice thing to do :yep:

and I know that secretly the majority of TSRians are nice people who'd want to help me out!! XD Come on...you know you want to...

Reply 2

Perseverance

Send a PM with it and I'll have a look.

Reply 3

Kalliope

Perseverance

Send a PM with it and I'll have a look.

I have, thanks!!

Reply 4

bluebirddreams

BookWormShanti

I have, thanks!!

If you still need opinions, I'm happy to have a look :smile:

Reply 5

Kalliope

bluebirddreams

If you still need opinions, I'm happy to have a look :smile:

Thanks very much!

(Perseverance, gonna pm you a reply as soon as I have a chance to properly look over the changes I've made so I know what to ask for clarity on, but thanks in meantime :smile:

)

Reply 6