ooooo... engineer jokes are fun.
A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer enter a maths contest. The first question is to prove that all odd numbers are prime. The mathematician says 3's prime, 5's prime and 7's prime, so by induction all odd numbers are prime. The physicist says that 3's prime, 5's prime, 7's prime, 11's prime, 13's prime so all odd numbers are prime to within acceptable experimental error. The engineer has the simplest proof: 3's prime, 5's prime, 7's prime, 9's prime...
A mathematician, a physicist, an engineer went again to the races and laid their money down. Commiserating in the bar after the race, the engineer says, "I don't understand why I lost all my money. I measured all the horses and calculated their strength and mechanical advantage and figured out how fast they could run..."
The physicist interrupted him: "...but you didn't take individual variations into account. I did a statistical analysis of their previous performances and bet on the horses with the highest probability of winning..."
"...so if you're so hot why are you broke?" asked the engineer. But before the argument can grow, the mathematician takes out his pipe and they get a glimpse of his well-fattened wallet. Obviously here was a man who knows something about horses. They both demanded to know his secret.
"Well," he says, "first I assumed all the horses were identical and spherical..."
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel.
The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.
Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed.
Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.
I don't like this one:
Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is 2 * 2 ?"
The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it's old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces "3.99".
The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces "it lies between 3.98 and 4.02".
The mathematician cogitates for a while, then announces: "I don't know what the answer is, but I can tell you, an answer exists!".
Philosopher smiles: "But what do you mean by 2 * 2 ?"
Logician replies: "Please define 2 * 2 more precisely."
The sociologist: "I don't know, but is was nice talking about it".
Behavioral Ecologist: "A polygamous mating system".
Medical Student : "4" All others looking astonished : "How did you know ??" Medical Student : :I memorized it."
since we're doing sad university related jokes:
3 students are out for a quiet drink, 1 from Bristol university, one from Durham university and one from Cambridge university. The student from Bristol pops to the toilet, does he business, and washes his hands with plenty of soap and water. He comes out of the toilet and says to his friends "At Bristol they teach us to be clean". The Durham student then went to the toilet, did his business, and washed his hands with as little soap and water as humanly possible. He came out and said to his friends "At Durham they teach us to be efficient". Finally the cambridge student eventually went to the toilet, did his business, and then walked out without washing his hands at all! He said to his friends "At cambridge they teach us not to piss on our hands"
In Spain also!!! The only UK unis people can name is Cambridge and Oxford and "London"... and Oxford is the good on and the difficult one to get into... and Cambridge is easier... that's what people think!
I was under the impression that more people applied to Cambridge - Cambridge has significantly more students in a given year at a given college than Oxford does.
At my school more people applied to Cambridge - and to be honest there's very little to seperate the universities in "how prestigious / good they are". Oxford has done better at international fame, but that's hardly the most important thing when applying. Cambridge is certainly not any "easier" to get into than Oxford!