The Student Room Group

advice needed

right.........
i went with this lad for 3 years i proppa loved him from the very start... he did lie which did start to do my head in bk then & things like he wouldnt get a job but bk then i was young i went with him from 13-16 he was 15-17 so................ maybe i was overreacting...


my mum and dad hated to see me upset so made us finish it. i was his 1st at everything & vice versa!

anyway he was single about 5 months and got with a 14 year old which hurt me so much he was 17. he stayed with her for a year and half.... then started cheating on her with the girlfriend hes with now whos 21.
hes been with her now a year. hes 20 and im 18

after splitting up i got with a bloke after about 10 months who i loved at first UNTIL (something happend)
im still with him now!

anyway when my ex got with the 2nd girl the 21 year old i had kinda got over finishing with him although everytyme i saw him my heart still skipped several beats.. and i still had my tearfull moments even though i was in love.

i got friends with the new girlfriend (i hated the old 1) and my current bloke got mates with my ex. we arranged to go out 2getha my feelings started crawling bk thinking of the right outfit thinking am i prettier than his bird etc....

anyway the weekend before the 4 of us were due to go clubbing together my bloke finished me over some drunken row.

id had my ex's numba but never dare ring it because id not been in contact with him since we splitt bcuz his x g/f made him change his numba.

id got his new numba by him giving it to my bloke.

so i text him and said we had split one night and feeling emotional to tell him we would no longer be going out.

ive forgot how it all came along but i ended up telling him i still loved him and if he felt the same.... he replied he diddnt no

anyway after few week of texting we arranged 2 meet just for sex and c how he felt after bear in mind he still as a bird

so we did and after he said he still dint no

i text n text n he text bk till he finally said he diddnt fink of me in that way no more

i ended up getting bk with my bloke and told my ex i diddnt wanna text no more as it was 2 upsetting

however after the honeymoon stage lol things got boring with my bloke so i decided to give my ex a try by texting him i got quick replies and the feelings grew again..........

this as been going on now for over a year.. ive slept with him again when me and m bloke split up a week then again when we split up a weekend and once behind his bk!

but we txt everyday.........

hes still with the same bird

he tells me hes wi her cos they got joint bk account and car...?

but im learning to drive gunna uni she just as any old job and isnt all that

i think he likes her cos shes dopey and does anything he says and he can do wot he wants he even says he wudnt be able to do that with me

but he says he doesnt love her he snogs other girls behind her bk but only sleeps with me

he never cheated on me (he neva had time lol)

he said he fort i was the 1 but i broke his heart my finshing him and i no i did) but i was young i had 2 do wot i parents said (so wish i hadnt)

he now as a job and thanx me for pushing him etc

we chat on net i go on webcam etc
but most of time its general chit chat me been nosey and sumtymes sex chat lol!

but............. i still love him

im still wiht my bloke but constantly think of my ex

helppppppp wot shud i do!

Reply 1

stop letting him lead u on hun!! you say he only likes his gf cos he does what he wants to her n he wudnt with u, but he is doing that to u! and you're being dopey too! i understand ur feelings but he's only offering u sex and you're letting him do that without solid commitment, if he can cheat on his gf he cud do the same to you, n he wud leave his gf if he really wanted! you need to tell him that you wont be used for sex anymore and if he still doesn't leave her then u have your answer xxx

Reply 2

find someone lovely, one who deserves someone as nice as you obviously are

Reply 3

Either talk to him properly and get back together, or walk away.

Anything in between won't do either of you any good, and at least one person (probably three) will end up getting hurt.

Reply 4

you said he only sleeps with you. how could you know that, doesnt exactly seem the trustworthy type.
forget him he's a loser, dump the other guy cos you're just stringing him on.

Reply 5

skatergirlannie
find someone lovely, one who deserves someone as nice as you obviously are

Totally agree. People do things for a reason, im a firm believer in that. Im sure he has his reasons for his behaviour but you need to think about your best interests. Take your time but sounds like you need to cutt it off with this guy. Dont rush but find someone who will look after you and love you.

Good luck

Reply 6

first of all i apologise for being harsh...but i hope u take it in the right spirit.

First of all...u never made an attempt to get over a guy who according to me was never into ya. I know its hard...but its better to let go of fire when u know its gonna burn ur hand. And gosh u've been oscillating back and forth. I request you to read ur own post...and see how it sounds. You got to get a grip of yourself. There are plenty of guys out there who are caring and loving. You've just had a bad time finding one. The part of having sex behing your bloke's back with ur ex...how sure r u that he isnt doing many more out there. For pete's sake stop being so gullible. Things always dont seem to be the way they are to you. You have to stop when u have a chance to and redeem urself from this terrible mess. Was a lil confusing reading ur post so i can imagine how it'd be living it! Leave both ur bloke and ur ex. U never said too much abt the bloke ur with but its not right tat ur cheating on him...so many times. Your ex...leads a nice lifestyle...with another girl for the car and the money and sleeps wit ya...HELLO?? Wake up and smell the coffee. And when u said...we'll sleep together and see if u find if u feel anything for me....where did ya get that from??? Please! Only u can put an end to this mess u've landed up in. So put a stop to all this immediately and start afresh. All the best! :smile:

Reply 7

Thanks everyone for your comments and even the firm one lol! i no deep down but i do think deep down he still loves me but ..... is scared

hes said before that, he nos if he got bk with me it wud be 4eva and at the moment he doesnt want it.?? weird

Reply 8

lisac
Thanks everyone for your comments and even the firm one lol! i no deep down but i do think deep down he still loves me but ..... is scared

hes said before that, he nos if he got bk with me it wud be 4eva and at the moment he doesnt want it.?? weird


What's he scared of? If he wanted to be with you, he would be.

I think you're best off away from both these guys personally, neither of your relationships with them are going to come to any good in the end.

Reply 9

Helenia
What's he scared of? If he wanted to be with you, he would be.

I think you're best off away from both these guys personally, neither of your relationships with them are going to come to any good in the end.
i think hes scared of commitment and been tied down like before and me breaking his heart again i dunnooooo i no im stupid its just doing it! :frown:

Reply 10

OK, at the moment I don't think he has any intention of getting with you long term. Regardless of his other relationship, he's just using you for sex because he knows he can.

At 16 nobody knows who "the one" is, and I doubt many more people do at 18, so I don't really think your past history means you have more of a chance together.

There are other men with fewer issues out there; I suggest you find one of them.

Reply 11

Helenia
OK, at the moment I don't think he has any intention of getting with you long term. Regardless of his other relationship, he's just using you for sex because he knows he can.

At 16 nobody knows who "the one" is, and I doubt many more people do at 18, so I don't really think your past history means you have more of a chance together.

There are other men with fewer issues out there; I suggest you find one of them.

yer i no i should its tho tho when my feeling are so strong thanks and ill keep ya all udpated!

Reply 12

Sounds like a guy to be avoided. :rolleyes: