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How would you deal with a parent suffering from depression?

3

if anyone here has a parent who suffers from depression, how do u cope? my mum wont even take any medication so i get the full force of it every single day. any advice?

Reply 1

little_miss_sunshine_xx

Aww that sucks :s-smilie:

Hmm I think usually people who are depressed feel like they're really lonely, so make you sure you keep like communicating with your mum.. Do you know what's caused it?

Reply 2

Hooovan*

OP

3

she has had a very difficult life and there is still a lot of pressure on her, especially financially, since she is a single parent and currently supporting 6 people. i feel guilty when i think about everything she does but at the same time im scared about her behaviour. its very up and down, and she lashes out for no apparent reason. if shes upset then everyone around her is miserable. if shes happy then we're just sitting here wondering how long it will last this time round.

Reply 3

Strawberrycayk

11

Hmm why isn't she taking her medication?
My mum acts like she's depressed sometimes but the doctors haven't spotted it, maybe it's something else. But she has similar reasons, tough life.

But being a single mother must be exhausting and overly stressful and she really should take her medication, does it help her at all?
If she isn’t taking meds then I suppose there’s no way she’ll go to counselling? Drugs will only cover up the problem; she really needs help to resolve it. Talk to her and make sure she knows you’re there for her. I know how hard it can be when you’re having an awful day yourself and then she lashes out on you. It’s not fair, just hold on and try to help her through it. She doesn’t mean any of it, she’s just not well :jumphug:

Reply 4

cardine92

10

Hooovan*

she has had a very difficult life and there is still a lot of pressure on her, especially financially, since she is a single parent and currently supporting 6 people. i feel guilty when i think about everything she does but at the same time im scared about her behaviour. its very up and down, and she lashes out for no apparent reason. if shes upset then everyone around her is miserable. if shes happy then we're just sitting here wondering how long it will last this time round.

I know how you feel, it horrible having to walk on egg shells all the time :o:

All I can say is perhaps discuss it with the rest of the family, maybe try to take some of the pressure off her and make sure she has time to relax. I'm not sure what you can do about the medication though, don't nag her to take it. Has she been to the GP?

Reply 5

legend_90

1

Hooovan*

if anyone here has a parent who suffers from depression, how do u cope? my mum wont even take any medication so i get the full force of it every single day. any advice?

my dad suffered from depression and me and my siblings had no idea how to deal with it, so we sort of ignored it.
I know it can be hard, if she lashes out for no reason.. but you really got to remember that its not your fault and she does need your support.
Definitely talk about it, if not with your mum, then with brothers or sisters, it really does help and i regret not doing enough for my dad

Reply 6

anon2010

11

this sound exactally like my mum.

if she will not take medication then would she consider therapy? do she recognise she has an actual illness or does she just think that she is sad?

with my mum i have found that being blut work. i regularly explain to her the implications of not taking meds and not engaging in treatment. i say that she will loose her job and struggle to pay off her debt, that she will loose her children, she may end up in hospital, the stigma will stick even if the illness doesnt. it all sound harsh but i think sugar coating everything and feeling sorry for the person all the time is counter productive because they then in turn feel like they should be sad or the begin to like the attention it causes.
this of course may not work on your mum.

you have to be realistic with depressed people dont tell them that bad things are good (eg someone dies - dont tell them that it is ok instead tell them to cry and be sad because it is sad) you also need to remember that only they can get them selves better and they need to be told that regularly. all the treatment in the world is a waste if the person them selves doesnt try. of course help them and encourage them.
and tell they to cry. if they are sad they should cry it is a healthy way of expressing emotion. many depressed people dont cry because they think that it means thay are getting worst but if they are crying instead of hurting themselves or others then it is an improvement not a failure. a lot of people settle with being stressed but proper crying can make it feel easier.

EDIT: i have just read this through and realised that i sound really harsh but depression is harsh. also OP try to get down to your GPs and see if they can offer you any advice or support, they will know of what is available in your area :smile:

i am really sorry you and your family are going through this.

Reply 7

XDaydreamer

12

my dad was depressed after my grandma died, I'm not sure if bereavement is the same thing as clinical depression but it was horrible to see because I had no idea how to cope when he was upset, especially as my mum was ill at the same time so I was on my own, so I know how you feel OP :hugs:

Counselling seems to be helping a lot, although he didn't want to do it, so if you speak to a GP or doctor I'm sure there are people to talk to, and medication if necessary :smile:

And also he had to take time off work and cancel some business trips because the stress was just adding to it, so if you can get your mum to take some time to relax then it could help.
I'm sure you are doing everything you can to look after your mum but don't be afraid to speak to someone else about it too, and if she's been prescribed medication get a doctor or someone to explain that it's important

Reply 8

Antonia87

14

My mum has been clinically depressed for about a decade and has been taking medication all throughout. However, you wouldnt know it, because she takes her medication. Depression is a mental illness and has to be treated. Many underestimate the seriousness of the condition. Your mum has to see her GP and you must encourage her.

Reply 9

Music-Ista

To be honest, I'd confront her, possibly argue, but keep saying that you love her and want her to get help because it upsets you seeing her like that.

Don't put up with the way she acts, there may be sometimes when you have to give her space or help her out, but DO NOT let her wallow in or think she can act any way she wants.

It's annoying having everyone on your back about it but it's worse when they let you be depressed, you get stuck in a rut and start closing off completely.

Just be there to help and tell her you want her to get help.

Reply 10

Hooovan*

OP

3

thank you for all of the advice, its reassuring to find out that other people know what it feels like to be in a similar situation.

Antonia87

My mum has been clinically depressed for about a decade and has been taking medication all throughout. However, you wouldnt know it, because she takes her medication. Depression is a mental illness and has to be treated. Many underestimate the seriousness of the condition. Your mum has to see her GP and you must encourage her.

my mum doesnt take me seriously, she treats me like a child! if i suggests she visits her gp she'll probably laugh at me and tell me to shut up and sit down.

i think she was diagnosed with depression around 5/6 years ago but i cant be sure. i dont think that it is possible for me to help her, i just find it difficult to deal with her mood.

i think i need to get someone her age who she listens to, to speak to her. thats probably the only way she'll take this seriously and realise what effect it is having on our family.

thanks again to everyone who replied, means a lot!

How would you deal with a parent suffering from depression?

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