The Student Room Group

BF Problems

I've been with my boyfriend quite a while now, and we haven't had sex. The reason for this...i just don't want to. I'm not in love with him yet, think i've been scarred emotionally by a past relationship and am having trouble committing. I've had other partners and my boyfriend has a big problem with this. He can't accept that i've changed my viewpoint and i don't know what to do!
Reply 1
Tell him what you just wrote here.
Reply 2
Yeah i have....it's like we both have different opinions and can't exactly meet a middle ground.
Reply 3
All I can say is do want you want to do, make yourself clear and with reasons. If he can't accept that then that's more to do with him than you.
Reply 4
Yeah, i knew something similiar to this... the guy in question either thought it was a problem with him or would just get mad... sticky situation... But from what I've seen, it's true - don't do something just to appease him because you'll end up feeling more and more like he doesn't understand you and used, even if that's not his aim... If you truthfully explain the whole thing to him, and he really cares about you, then he'll wait - simple.
Reply 5
Tell him you don't feel ready for sex with him yet. Tell him you think the guys in the past you had sex with were mistakes, mistakes that you don't want to repeat.

If he has a problem with that and then tries to talk you into sex tell him to Fucl< off.
Reply 6
put out
Reply 7
tell him if he really cares about ya, he'll wait.. otherwise.. he isnt patient enough for your taste..

personally, i believe in sex afte rmarriage particularly because of religious reasons.. if youre religious you could tell him to wait.. if he dont wanna wait.. tell him he's about to become single..
Reply 8
if he cant respect you and value your reasons, then sadly he probabily aint worth dating.
Reply 9
Thanks for your advice.... Thing is he is such a nice guy, he has waited, it's been 9 months now...and i don't think he understands my reasoning, that i've changed and only wanna sleep with the right person. I want to be in the relationship so i'm not going to end it, and can't think of a way to make him feel better.
does he , has he told you that he loves you? maybe he feesl rejected?
Reply 11
Yeah he has and yeah he probably does