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He wants to kill himself.

I don't know what to do.
There's this guy that told me that he liked me months ago, and I said i was flattered but didn't see him the same way, but he still goes on about it loads. And recently he's saying he wants to commit suicide or go out and get shot because I rejected him. Today he told me he wants to get shot so that he doesn't have to bother me anymore. I'm really worried and feel guilty but I don't know what I can do.
He keeps asking me why I don't like him and what's wrong with him. I know that he must have low self esteem and maybe I haven't helped but I can't go out with him just for his sake to make him feel better.

Reply 1

sequence123

10

Tell him your a lesbien

Reply 2

Fleece

15

he's being very selfish by putting all of that on you...just explain that some people are better as friends and its not the end of the world - that there are prettier and better girls out there (ok so you will have to be a bit self-detrimental here but go with it!) .

or failing that, go with the lesbian tack.

Reply 3

Nabqueen

OP

tried that one lol

Reply 4

technik

13

its not your concern. ignore him

Reply 5

Nightowl

12

Call me ignorant, but I don't think he is serious about suicide, he sounds like he's just trying to guilt you into going out with him. If he didn't want to bother you anymore, he could just stay away, embarassment perhaps? Just say no, try and stay away from him as much as possible. Failing, say you are a lesbian.

Reply 6

Nabqueen

OP

honestly i've tried loads, i've told him he's bound to meet someone that feels the same and deserves him more, and there's loads of pretty girls and stuff, he's too caught up and i've even tried distancing myself so that he can forget but nothing seems to work!

Reply 7

Nightowl

12

Don't go on triyng to make him feel better, he's making you feel worse! Concentrate on yourself, you are number one. Don't comfort him either, just say finally I do not want to go out with you, end of, stop trying to guilt me. I bet anything hes not serious about suicide.

Reply 8

Nabqueen

OP

its really hard because we used to be really good mates, last month he said he was gona cut himself coz of it and he came back with all these marks on his arm, it's really freaky, ive told him he needs help and i've tried to get some of his mates to talk to him

Reply 9

musicbloke

17

Set him up with a counsellor.

MB

Reply 10

Catski

If you've told him to talk to someone, told his friends to talk to him and remained polite to him, the onus is now on him to stop behaving like this. If he was really going to do himself harm, he'd have done it by now and he wouldn't have been telling you all about it. As was said before, odds are he's trying to guilt-trip you into being with him. He'll get over it.

Reply 11

englishrose

1

I have a friend who behaves in a very similar manner. I myself am not the object of his affections, but a couple of my friends have been. He has cut himself in the past, and I know he has issues, but he also talks about suicide a lot, and I know he's talking crap to get attention. However, when he texts you at 3am with talk of suicide and ending it all, no amount of telling yourself that he's talking bull stops you from being worried sick about him until you find out he's OK.

As harsh as this sounds, the only way I have managed to deal with him is to cut him out of my life as much as possible, and only talk to him in person, as he only ever talks about suicide and stuff through MSN/email/texts. I did this for my own good, being selfish, because it was starting to make me really down, which is unusual for me, as I'm normally a very upbeat person.

Reply 12

john171

11

I've dealt with people like this before, ignore him or tell him to FIND THE BIGGEST BUS HE CAN AND WALK HIS SORRY AS INTO IT.

I had a GF in the past who acted like this and the only reason I stayed with her (foolishly) was that she implied she would kill herself If I left her. In the end I found out she had done this to numerous other guys, so I told her to **ck off and walk her fat ass (not that she had one) into oncoming traffic =)

Reply 13

Nightowl

12

john171

I've dealt with people like this before, ignore him or tell him to FIND THE BIGGEST BUS HE CAN AND WALK HIS SORRY AS INTO IT.

I had a GF in the past who acted like this and the only reason I stayed with her (foolishly) was that she implied she would kill herself If I left her. In the end I found out she had done this to numerous other guys, so I told her to **ck off and walk her fat ass (not that she had one) into oncoming traffic =)

I couldn't do that mind, imagine how you would feel if she actually did!

Reply 14

Nabqueen

OP

I suppose the only way to feel better is keep away from him, but i know i'm gona worry, i worry about everyone to much, its gona be really hard but i'll try. Last time i tried it I felt even more guilty because he was upset that he'd said something to offend me.

Reply 15

john171

11

anightowl

I couldn't do that mind, imagine how you would feel if she actually did!

lol I did worry about that for a while. But I stopped when the bit ch started spreading nasty rumours about me :smile:

Take my advice, get rid of the guy. Tell him that your dad/bro will rip his head off **** down his neck if he doesnt leave you alone.

Reply 16

Sarky

18

Emotional blackmail isn't any sort of basis for a relationship, be it a friendship or something more serious. Explain to him that if he doesn't stop this he will loose you altogether. You don't need to feel guilty if you've been honest with him. Don't stay around to be used.

Reply 17

john171

11

Sarky

Emotional blackmail isn't any sort of basis for a relationship, be it a friendship or something more serious. Explain to him that if he doesn't stop this he will loose you altogether. You don't need to feel guilty if you've been honest with him. Don't stay around to be used.

Dont take this advice, no offense to the writer hehe...=) but dont even be friends with him, all he is going to cause you is grief and worry, he isnt worth it, for christ sake we only live once, DONT WASTE your time worrying over this sorry sack of ****.