I found out I had herpes myself about a month ago - because I was admitted into hospital with an extremely severe initial outbreak. At the time I thought it was the end of the world, but when the outbreak goes you're absolutely fine, and I actually broke the news to my boyfriend last night. It was most likely I got it from him anyway, as we'd been unprotected, but as far as he knew he was clean and he'd never had an outbreak, so he didn't know if he'd given it to me or if it had just been in my system all along. After the initial shock of finding out, he didn't mind - if you're planning to have unprotected sex with somebody then I do think you should tell them beforehand if you know you have it, because that's fair on them. But you should only have unprotected sex with someone you're really close with and really care about, and if they judge you for it, then they're not worth barebacking.
To be honest, it was a horrible shock finding out I had it, because of its representation in the media as a dirty nasty horrid virus. True, when you get an outbreak it can be extremely painful and not pretty, but it only lasts 5-6 days maximum, and as somebody said above, 1 in 10 people have it, but 8 in 10 of those infected don't know about it - it's a very common virus and it's nothing to be ashamed of, there's no point getting upset about it.