hows this for the opening paragraph? (english) Watch

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*starry_eyed_*
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#1
Report Thread starter 13 years ago
#1
This my 100th attempt and I just can't get it right, so I'm now breaking it down into chunks. How's this?

Literature is the basis of all major influences in today’s society. Without the likes of Shakespeare, the Bronte sisters and Jane Austen, we would have nothing worth being proud of. Taking a degree in English literature would give me an opportunity to look more closely the figures that have changed the meaning of English literature.

Is it too ott??? :confused:
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Profesh
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Report 13 years ago
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(Original post by *starry_eyed_*)
This my 100th attempt and I just can't get it right, so I'm now breaking it down into chunks. How's this?

Literature is the basis of all major influences in today’s society. Without the likes of Shakespeare, the Bronte sisters and Jane Austen, we would have nothing worth being proud of.
In a word: abysmal. At this point, the admissions tutor has already deposited your personal statement firmly in the refuse pile. Why the unnecessarily provocative, blanket statements?
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*starry_eyed_*
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#3
Report Thread starter 13 years ago
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tis sorted now, thanks
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leannemarie
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#4
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Bit extreme - and very easy to contradict.
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