haven't seen it for a while, but isn't there a giant bunny in it?
Another Omid Djalili one:
How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold his penis.
...Sorry - I mean ladder.
Man, Omid Djalili is actually a legend! Nota one liner but when he talks about Indian bingo callers...Tandoori Chicken and Rice...49
Ed Byrne: I'm not going to swear tonight. I was brought up with my mother saying "If you have to swear to make people laugh, then you're a c***."
did you hear about the police that raided a library in bucharest?
i saw this buglar come out of someone's garden crying. it turned out he'd taken offence.
my jokes actually. well somewhat puns as well as jokes i guess.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
fav pick up line:
How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
silence- those joke were awful. What about ...
Did you here about the grape that attacked the battery?
The battery's alright, but the grape's being pressed for charges.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
WE DON'T KNOW, IT HAS NEVER HAPPENED
how many americans does it take to change a lightbulb? 1000. 1 to hold the buld, and 999 to turn the house around
"Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated."
"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships."
"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."
---Robin Williams (on Clinton/Lewinsky affair)
Bill Bailey - "I'm a post-modern vegetarian, I eat meat - ironically"
This was said on Never Mind the Buzzcocks once, in the guess-which-ones-the-famous-person line up by an Australian comedian whos name I don't know;
"I like you number 3, I want to take you home, tie you to a chair and shag you - not because I'm gay, just because I have a lot of rope."
Bill Bailey is an absolute legend!
Ed Byrne complaining about American pronounciation.
What the f*** is aloominum, I hate it when they say aloominum foil - wtf is that!? everyone knows it's called tin....
Not too big, not too small
God Monty Python rules!