people say how prison doesn't work and all prisoners reoffend upon release, NOT TRUE - look at NELSON MANDELA.
Okay... that was random. :?:
Woody Allen: I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
"You fear jazz. You fear the lack of rules, the lack of boundaries. Oh look, it's a fence. But, no, it's soft."
Howard Moon - The Mighty Boosh
not really a one liner though
I might start the shoot-Tim-Vine society. So corny! What is he, a Blue Peter presenter?
(But, I'm sure, a legend all the same).
Did you hear about the dyslexic exorcist ?
His mother cooked socks in Hull
I was reading a book.....'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down. (you know who)
"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." - Groucho Marx.
Great! I love that Marx one, from the unlikliest of sources aswell.
"You know when you've become your father when you keep a piece of wood to stir paint with"- Peter Kay didn't say this