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Difficult relationship and Uni
I don't know if this is really the right place for this but I seriously need some advice I don't know what to do
OK I am in a bit of a difficult relationship and I am about to go back to uni to start an MSc which is far from going to be easy as it is.
I am probably going to sound really selfish with my reasons as to why I find the relationship difficult but here goes
Every conversation we have has to come back to them in some way or other. For example the other day he asked me why I even want to go and do another degree and I pointed out a lot of people are getting bachelors degrees these days so they are becoming less useful and so to be considered for decent jobs you need something to set you apart in this case I have chosen a Masters.
They only got a third in their BSc so got really really annoyed that I was calling their degree worthless and started complaining about the dead end job they were stuck in because of that. I said nothing about them specifically I just stated what employers have started saying it has been on the news!
When they want me to go out with them but I can't as I have other things to do I have commited myself to it ends up as a what about me, am I not important enough you can drop what you are going to see me.
In March they were "having a bad day" and they were getting at me and I got to the stage I started fighting back in the end they through back something they knew in trust was was hard to speak about in my face and stormed off. This shattered any trust I had in them and while I am slowly trying to build it back up they insist in treating me like a piece of meat. They are always trying to touch or squeeze or grab me in some way and then starts sulking when I tell them to stop. I don't like being touched at the best of times by anyone let alone by someone I hardly trust. They make me feel sick and dirty.
I have a tendency to really panic whcn under a lot of stress and things don't always make sense to me. I can't understand what is being said to me until I have calmed down I was hoping they would be there to support me but it happened the other week and instead of supporting me he got really angry and had a go at me.
Lastly is constant complaints that I won't make time to see them once I start my course despite the fact they are at work during the day and my lectures are at the earliest at 2 but mostly 6-9. This is despite the fact when I found that out I said I wouldn't go on the course and they insisted I did.
Maybe I am being completely selfish but I just don't know if I should stay with them.
Feel free to hate me or whatever
OK I am in a bit of a difficult relationship and I am about to go back to uni to start an MSc which is far from going to be easy as it is.
I am probably going to sound really selfish with my reasons as to why I find the relationship difficult but here goes
Every conversation we have has to come back to them in some way or other. For example the other day he asked me why I even want to go and do another degree and I pointed out a lot of people are getting bachelors degrees these days so they are becoming less useful and so to be considered for decent jobs you need something to set you apart in this case I have chosen a Masters.
They only got a third in their BSc so got really really annoyed that I was calling their degree worthless and started complaining about the dead end job they were stuck in because of that. I said nothing about them specifically I just stated what employers have started saying it has been on the news!
When they want me to go out with them but I can't as I have other things to do I have commited myself to it ends up as a what about me, am I not important enough you can drop what you are going to see me.
In March they were "having a bad day" and they were getting at me and I got to the stage I started fighting back in the end they through back something they knew in trust was was hard to speak about in my face and stormed off. This shattered any trust I had in them and while I am slowly trying to build it back up they insist in treating me like a piece of meat. They are always trying to touch or squeeze or grab me in some way and then starts sulking when I tell them to stop. I don't like being touched at the best of times by anyone let alone by someone I hardly trust. They make me feel sick and dirty.
I have a tendency to really panic whcn under a lot of stress and things don't always make sense to me. I can't understand what is being said to me until I have calmed down I was hoping they would be there to support me but it happened the other week and instead of supporting me he got really angry and had a go at me.
Lastly is constant complaints that I won't make time to see them once I start my course despite the fact they are at work during the day and my lectures are at the earliest at 2 but mostly 6-9. This is despite the fact when I found that out I said I wouldn't go on the course and they insisted I did.
Maybe I am being completely selfish but I just don't know if I should stay with them.
Feel free to hate me or whatever
Are you joking? This is one relationship you need to get out of, and you have the perfect opportunity now.
The way I see it, if your partner doesn't bring out the best in you and make you feel good about yourself then they aren't the right person to be with. This guy spectacularly fails on both counts, and in fact makes you feel BAD.
End it. Go on your course, meet loads of new people and widen your job prospects at the same time. I understand this won't be easy, particularly if he is the clingy/aggressive type, but it's best for both of you. You'll feel so much better in a few months if you do this, I promise.
Cxx
The way I see it, if your partner doesn't bring out the best in you and make you feel good about yourself then they aren't the right person to be with. This guy spectacularly fails on both counts, and in fact makes you feel BAD.
End it. Go on your course, meet loads of new people and widen your job prospects at the same time. I understand this won't be easy, particularly if he is the clingy/aggressive type, but it's best for both of you. You'll feel so much better in a few months if you do this, I promise.
Cxx
something they knew in trust was was hard to speak about in my face and stormed off. This shattered any trust I had in them and while I am slowly trying to build it back up they insist in treating me like a piece of meat. They are always trying to touch or squeeze or grab me in some way and then starts sulking when I tell them to stop. I don't like being touched at the best of times by anyone let alone by someone I hardly trust. They make me feel sick and dirty.
everything you just said screams you dont want to be in the relationship. it doesnt sound like a healthy one to me.
particularly the above quote concerned me.
go off to uni and meet new friends and get a good degree.
im a bit confused. who is 'they' in this situation??
Go to uni, start a new life, new people, new place. Just start over and forget about this guy you're with. He's not worth it. A relationship is nothing without trust and particularly if the person makes you feel bad. Leave him and start over with new people at uni
Again,
It'll be ok. You got a great oppurtunity now to have a great new start without this crappy guy. Go and enjoy yourself and enjoy your masters! it's still a bit confusing, but whoever 'they' are i reckon you should just leave them and do your own thing. he just sounds like a bloke who is not going newhere.
but another problem is, is that do u think getting a MSc is really going 2 give you an advantage when getting your future job, bearing in mind there'll be so many graduates next year doing the same thing your doing? cos everyone knows now that talent + standard education just aint enough theze days. doing a MSc is a year lost of any work experience u could be doing.
but another problem is, is that do u think getting a MSc is really going 2 give you an advantage when getting your future job, bearing in mind there'll be so many graduates next year doing the same thing your doing? cos everyone knows now that talent + standard education just aint enough theze days. doing a MSc is a year lost of any work experience u could be doing.
but another problem is, is that do u think getting a MSc is really going 2 give you an advantage when getting your future job, bearing in mind there'll be so many graduates next year doing the same thing your doing? cos everyone knows now that talent + standard education just aint enough theze days. doing a MSc is a year lost of any work experience u could be doing.
For me an MSc is going to improve my job prospects for two reasons the first of these my BSc is very general so I am using my MSc to specialise secondly I am blind. After talking to careers advisors, lecturers, employers etc it was decided that an MSc would be useful for me
For me an MSc is going to improve my job prospects for two reasons the first of these my BSc is very general so I am using my MSc to specialise secondly I am blind. After talking to careers advisors, lecturers, employers etc it was decided that an MSc would be useful for me
i know my uni offers teaching places while students do their masters, which is a great way of getting more experience and cash while studying. I think its also a great way to get your foot in the door for teaching uni students.
Your chap sounds like a jelious idiot, i know i would of dumped him ages ago if someone did that accross me, he should be happy for you not try and ruin your future. I think thats kinda the reason why im single, i dont want someone who is gonna try and prevent me from getting somewhere. I think your reasons for doing a masters is great, theres always a phd afterwards. I think there was about 10 beefeaters (they dont have plasterboard hats) graduating last year.
Your chap sounds like a jelious idiot, i know i would of dumped him ages ago if someone did that accross me, he should be happy for you not try and ruin your future. I think thats kinda the reason why im single, i dont want someone who is gonna try and prevent me from getting somewhere. I think your reasons for doing a masters is great, theres always a phd afterwards. I think there was about 10 beefeaters (they dont have plasterboard hats) graduating last year.
Jassmine, you need to get out of the relationship...If he's going to throw things you told him in confidence back at you, and you have no trust in him, it's never going to work out...you're better off finding someone who makes you feel happy, not someone who makes you feel bad about yourself
A lot of people in relationships tend to convince themselves that being single would be the end of the world. It's not. You managed fine before you got together with this guy, and you can manage again without him.
If you're worried about letting him down, the best thing you can do is be honest with him and tell him how you feel. If you really don't want to be in the relationship any more, it's cruel to stay with him and lead him to think that everything's fine. Once you've made a clean break and started to forget about him, you'll realise what a sensible decision you've made.
Good luck.
If you're worried about letting him down, the best thing you can do is be honest with him and tell him how you feel. If you really don't want to be in the relationship any more, it's cruel to stay with him and lead him to think that everything's fine. Once you've made a clean break and started to forget about him, you'll realise what a sensible decision you've made.
Good luck.
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