When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you
just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out
on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call
I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed
it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said,
"This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the
right f**in number!" and the phone was slammed down on
me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her,
I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the
'wrong' number again. When he same guy answered the
phone, I yelled "You're an ********!"
and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word
'********' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying
bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and
yell, "You're an ********!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic
'********' calling would have to stop. So, I called his
number and said, "Hi, this is
John Smith from the Telstra. I'm calling to see if
you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled
"NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because
you're an ********!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into
a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and
pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit
the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that
spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale"
sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A
couple of days later, right after calling the first
******** (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought
that I'd better call the BMW ********, too. I said, "Is
this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse.
it's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in
I asked, "What's your name?"
He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an ********!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial,
too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two ********s to
Then I came up with an idea. I called ******** #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an ********!" (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me,"
I said, "Make me,"
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "********, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse,
a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had
better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ********," and
Then I called ******** #2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, ********,"
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." he said,
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your arse,"
I answered, "Well, ********, here's your chance. I'm
coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately
called the police, saying that I lived
at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way
over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel
9 News about the gang war going down in
Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse. I quickly got into my car and
headed over to Mowbray.
I got there just in time to watch two ********s beating
the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an
overhead police helicopter and a news crew.
feel much better. Anger management really works.
Turn on thread page Beta
Anger Management watch
- Thread Starter
- 04-09-2005 18:11
- 04-09-2005 18:15
BRILLIANT!! did you really do that?!?! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
i laughed my arse off!!
- 04-09-2005 18:20
I've read that before somewhere...
- 04-09-2005 19:06
- 04-09-2005 22:06
- 04-09-2005 22:18
lol thats really funny.
- 04-09-2005 22:36
- 04-09-2005 22:46
nice , didn't laugh but smiled
- 04-09-2005 23:00