The Student Room Group

How Long Before Engagement?

(Disclaimer: This thread is in no way a dig at Juno and Juuero Chou, I just read the thread and got curious about other people's views, OK!)

So, how long would you have to be with someone before you want to get engaged? My boyfriend and I have been together 1 year, 8 months and 17 days. He says one day he'll propose to me but we are both of the opinion it's dumb to do anything before uni and before living together (so see if we just argue all the time)

What about YOU?

Doesn't have to be a view about your particular relationship at this time, just your random opinion is cool. Do the poll!

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Reply 1
I was with my ex for four years, and we'd lived together for 1 1/2 - 2 of those.

So glad we didn't make it official :smile: I want to save it!

edit: however, within four weeks of our break up he was engaged to someone else ^o)
Reply 2
People are voting in my poll. That makes me happy.

Blissy: Save it? You were with him 4 years and you still had something to save? :p:
Reply 3
Kavanne
People are voting in my poll. That makes me happy.

Blissy: Save it? You were with him 4 years and you still had something to save? :p:

Yeah, I'm glad I didn't have a failed engagement and a past fiance!
Reply 4
Wow they're engaged? Congratulations :smile:

I was with my ex three years and we were considering getting engaged. Then we broke up. :rolleyes:

I've been with my current boyf 5 months and i'd say its far too early. I know i love him but we're both young and people change.
i've been with my girlfriend erm...7 months today! I love her more than anything and I think there's a real chance that we could go the distance, but there's no way either of us are ready for anything like engagement/marrige, at least not this side of uni, we're both young and anything could happen in the next few years, I'd love to think we'll still be together in 5-10 years time...but I'm realistic and there IS a chance that we might not be, as much as I can't ever see us breaking up at the moment...

I would like to have lived with someone for a reasonable amount of time before anything like marrige too...

it's not something you can put a proper time scale on, but all i know is i'm sure as hell not ready yet!
Personally, i don't really want to get married before i'm 25ish as i think it is to soon. I want to go my degree(s) and be able to move in with someone for some time before an engagement/marrige.

In my opinion, getting engaged/married after only a year together isn't a good idea, even 2 years. Is that really long enough to know someone properly? I don't like the idea of getting engaged in the beginning of a relationship. You should give yourself time to be around each other, living together, etc.
Reply 7
depends on the person, and how old you are... and how much time you spend with each other. it can take longer to get to know each other if you're having long distnace type relationships.
Reply 8
Sarky
I know i love him but we're both young and people change.

I agree with you. I love my boyfriend so much and feel like I want to be with him forever. But things can change quickly, you never know.
Currently in a 3-year (so far) long relationship and we've been unofficially engaged from pretty much the start (a verbal commitment)...but doing anything officially - I wouldn't even know where to begin. Personally I want to be stable in life before I commit to an engagement - so thats post uni for me.

Glad to see no one has voted for a week. :smile:
a poll is quite pointless to be honest...I don't think anyone gets up to x years/months in their relationship and go "oh, we've been together for so-and-so amount of time, guess we gotta get married then"
Reply 11
Babyshambles
a poll is quite pointless to be honest...I don't think anyone gets up to x years/months in their relationship and go "oh, we've been together for so-and-so amount of time, guess we gotta get married then"

I was asking what people THOUGHT about the subject. Not what they'd actually do. I was asking the minimum time you'd have to be with someone before even thinking of getting engaged.
surely it's not a case of time, more a case of being ready for that sort of commitment, and nobody can know for sure how long that'd take,,,
I was with my exboyfriend for nearly 4 years. Everyone just presumed that because we were together for that long that we must be engaged. Crazy but true. I know alot of people from school became engaged to people after a year or so and then broke up because that is what happens to relationships at that age. I would wait for a very long time before deciding to get engaged. People change and drift apart when young and the situations they are in change(uni, going abroad etc)
I was with my ex for 4 1/2 years and engagement never came up due to life circumstances i.e. we were going to uni. Bloody good job as well :wink: :bawling:
blissy
edit: however, within four weeks of our break up he was engaged to someone else ^o)


:eek: That was a tad quick!

Btw I haven't voted because i really have no idea.
Reply 16
Both of us want to wait til we're through uni and tried living together for a while (though we lived together nearly all summer and it was a great preview ^_^)...I don't see anything wrong with teenagers getting engaged after a few months together, its when they want to take the legal marriage step that it can get a bit messy.
I've only been with my boyfriend for 3 months and personally I believe that is WAY too early. Strangely enough, I don't believe there is a 'specific' amount of time you should be together before you get engaged. The longer doesn't always signify the better. I guess it depends on personalities & opinions/
Reply 18
Anywhere between a few months to 5-6 years.
Reply 19
I think a lot of it depends on age.

For example, I've been with my boyfriend for 3 3/4 years. I know quite a few people in their mid to late twenties who've been together for around two years or so, and decided to get engaged. However, since after two years my boyfriend and I were 16 and 17, engagement didn't really seem like an option! We felt far too young for making a commitment like that.

Also it depends on the situation. When I'm 21 and he's 22, we might feel ready for engagement but because we'll be in a bit of a transitional phase it'd probably be better to wait and see how everything pans out in the long run.

So I suppose what I'm trying to say in a really long-winded way is, I'll probably wait to get engaged until I feel mature enough and ready to make such a huge commitment, and until our situation is fairly stable for the forseeable future :smile: