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    When I was with my ex he brought up the thoughts of engagement, children and apartment/house after just 3 days going out :confused: (we were both 15 when we started going out, he turned 16 not long after we started going out and I was still 15 when we split). After about one or two months he was taking me past jewellery shops and asking me what rings I liked the most :eek: . I am not kidding when I say I would have got engaged to him after just 2 months of being with him. I did truely love him and I still do . However that never happened and after 6-ish months of going out he dumped me :mad: .

    If you love someone enough then I don't think it matters at what age you are to get engaged or indeed how long you have been going out with someone. I would have a long engagement anyway (2+ years) to make sure it was indeed the right person and that I could live with them easily etc.
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    (Original post by Doom_and_Gloom)
    If you love someone enough then I don't think it matters at what age you are to get engaged or indeed how long you have been going out with someone.
    Obviously its personal preference and everything, but I can't quite see how getting engaged at say, 15 (like this girl at my previous school - it didn't work out, surprisingly enough!) is a good idea whether the couple are in love or not.

    I think age does matter in general; when you're really young you're still growing and maturing. You don't really know who you're going to become and whether or not you're still going to be compatible when it comes to actually getting married. Not to mention how much the circumstances and situations of each of you will change dramatically. One might go away to university, or another might be forced to move away with their parents, or they both might get new, different interests and lives and drift apart.

    Its a huge commitment to make. You're effectively saying that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. Obviously there will be a small number of young people ready to make that commitment, but I don't think the majority will be.
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    I have bben with my boyfriend for abot 10months and i have thought about getting engaged but wouldent do anything official yet though
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    I'd totally agree- age is a huge issue. My parents were together just over a year before getting engaged, but they were 25. I've been with my boyf over a year now, but we have no plans to get engaged for several years yet, because I'm only 17 and he's 20. I'm only half way through a-levels, I haven't had a gap year and I haven't been to uni yet, and I think I will change during that time- probably not dramatically, just become more of myself, but a bigger me could be one who doesn't want a relationship with him anymore, so I'll be waiting 'til I'm at least half way through uni before making that kind of commitment.

    On the other hand, I've got friends who have only been together 6 months but have just got engaged, but she's just about to start a third year at uni and he's already done that and is working, so they are pretty much as close to there full selves as they're likely to be.
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    i think that where my boyf and I are at the moment (half way through uni) so much is still in flux that making that kind of commitment is impossible. We love each other completely and there are no signs of breaking up right now, but we both have ideas about where we want our lives to go. If, after uni and after pursuing our careers, we are still together, then maybe it might be time to think about it. We have agreed that it might be right to go different directions for a while, then come back together when we are more settled, and if we still think we can work.

    There is a time factor, but situation and stability is more important. Even if you are perfect for each other now, there's no guarantee that it will still be the case in 5 years. If you are, and your lives continue in the same direction, it is more likely to be longlasting.
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    as long as it takes, everyone is diffrent
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    at least 3 yrs
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    (Original post by Doom_and_Gloom)
    If you love someone enough then I don't think it matters at what age you are to get engaged or indeed how long you have been going out with someone. I would have a long engagement anyway (2+ years) to make sure it was indeed the right person and that I could live with them easily etc.
    I wouldn't want to be the one announcing to my family that I'm engaged for the eleventh time in as many years......

    they'd all be :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

    engagment is a commitment to get married, not something like buying a jumper in a shop to replace after a couple of years - its for life, not just Xmas.....
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    (Original post by marabara)
    I wouldn't want to be the one announcing to my family that I'm engaged for the eleventh time in as many years......

    they'd all be :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

    engagment is a commitment to get married, not something like buying a jumper in a shop to replace after a couple of years - its for life, not just Xmas.....
    Jezz I know that :rolleyes: . I'm a person that believes that if your engaged you should be responsible about it. I'm not just going to get engaged to every guy that proposes to me you know :rolleyes: . Love is a big part of it but you've got to be 100% sure that getting engaged is a good idea.

    If I wasn't 100% sure of engagement I'd have to say I'll think about it and see if I can see a future. If I can't see a future then it would end the relationship all together . If I can see a future then it will help me get one step closer to it by getting engaged .

    If I end up with like 2 failed engagements in the future I will have to think about my logic again but at the moment this is how I can see it working for me. I am a determind person who is ruled by my heart I'm afraid to say so it can cause problems and I do know that .
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    Each to their own I suppose. If its true love, then it shouldnt matter how long.
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    (Original post by Doom_and_Gloom)
    If I wan't 100% sure of engagement I'd have to say I'll think about it and see if I can see a future. If I can't see a future then it would end the relationship all together . If I can see a future then it will help me get one step closer to it by getting engaged .
    by that thinking, you could get engaged after a week of going out with a guy..... or a night even....
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    (Original post by marabara)
    by that thinking, you could get engaged after a week of going out with a guy..... or a night even....
    Sorry about that I was supposed to put "If I wans't 100% sure of engagement.." that should make more sence (you see that's what happens when I stay up late all the time :rolleyes: ). However if I was completly sure of the person and their motives after a few days I guess it could happen. You can never say it won't but saying that it's very unlikely even with me who's heart basically runs my life.
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    (Original post by marabara)
    engagment is a commitment to get married
    Good point - I thought I was going to be the first one to point this out. So many people get engaged thinking it's just the next logical step in their relationship, and they want a fancy bit of jewellery. I will get engaged when I'm ready to be married, not when I'm ready to plan an engagement party.

    The time scale is different for everyone, though. My parents got engaged after being together for six weeks, when my mum was 16. They've been married for 30 years now, and still going strong.

    Personally, I think I would only get married when the circumstances were right. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years, and living together for 2, so I feel quite settled with him. But I won't get married until we've decided where we're going to live, long term, and preferably until we've bought a house. But that sort of plan doesn't work for everyone.
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    I think age and status in life are the most important factors.
    If you start dating someone at 18 you could be with them for 5 years before you feel ready to be married. But you'll find 30 year olds who date for 6 months before they get engaged. They've already dated around, they know what they want in a partner, so they don't need to wait as long. Plus they have their career set out, etc.

    BTW apparently they did a study and couples who live together before they get married have a higher divorce rate. I don't want to live together before marriage anyway--might as well have my own space before I sign up for a lifetime roommate--but I think that's interesting.
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    (Original post by Kavanne)
    People are voting in my poll. That makes me happy.

    Blissy: Save it? You were with him 4 years and you still had something to save? :p:
    We've inspired someone to make a thread. That makes me happy!

    Juno
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    I think I would wait at least 6-7 years before even considering engagement, couldn't imagine being with someone for a week then proposing!
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    Well, I mean my Mum and Dad were only going out for 6 months before they decided to Marry, and then they were together for 26 years before my Dad sadly passed away

    Anyway, aside from that, I would wait until I'm at least in my mid 20's and in some sort of stable day-to-day situation before engagement was even considered. Also, I would have to live with that person for a time, as someone has already mentioned, no point in engagement if you can't get on in the same space!
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    (Original post by shady lane)

    BTW apparently they did a study and couples who live together before they get married have a higher divorce rate. I don't want to live together before marriage anyway--might as well have my own space before I sign up for a lifetime roommate--but I think that's interesting.
    That is interesting, but I think there's more to it than 'living together first makes your marriage crap'. Think about it - why would a couple not live together before marriage? The main reason has got to be religion. A religious couple is more likely than an atheist couple to (a) take marriage and their vows before God incredibly seriously, and (b) have religious families who would be extremely disappointed if they divorced.
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    Ive been with my boyfriend for 17 months. And we're talked about it, and decided most definatly after university. I mean so many people go into university with someone and come out with a completly different person. Although i dont think that will happen to me and my bf, im not willing to take the risk.


    I believe after you've lived together for more than a year, after uni. Then is the right time...
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    Talked about this with my gf and we both agree that it is a possible plan but not until she finishes Uni at least!
 
 
 
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