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GF gets too drunk - right to be angry?

(I'm in this situation right now, need to know if I'm right to be reacting the way I am).

My girlfriend goes on nights out (not often, twice a month) and naturally will drink and have fun. If there's anyone who wants her to be happy and have fun it's me! I never go with her because I think she can fully relax and enjoy herself most when I'm not there, plus it's good to have her time with her friends.

However, sometimes she gets too drunk and inevitably has that slutty undignified behaviour coming out of here (obviously, she's too drunk to realise). She gets all funny and flirty, flimsy, clothes all over the place, low cut top falling even futher down..and that's a horny guy's ticket to snoop in and start grinding, touching her up and going in for a kiss.

Fortunately she's not too drunk to realise what's going on and stop it, but the morning after she feels disgusted that she let random strangers see and touch her like that...and gets angry with the situation too. She tells me, and inside I just get pissed off because I think...wtf bitch if you don't like that you start behaving like a slag just drink less then. There's a difference between drinking, for leisure, for some fun...and getting drunk.

Anyway I know I can't really tell her to do anything, or stop her, and I actually want her to have a good time but not resort to behaving the way she does. So when she does tell me I just rub it off like I couldn't care less and tell her that she should only be angry at herself for allowing it to happen. Fair enough she's not in control when she's drunk, but it is in her control to drink to the point of getting drunk.

For that day I just lose all respect for her and find it hard to think that my girlfriend actually has some class and dignity, for that moment she's just no different to those other drunk slags you find at clubs. I think, guys at clubs must look at her and think of her as just another easy drunk girl.

But I'm just wondering, maybe I'm being irrational (although I'm only feeling and thinking it, I never act on it by actually telling her to stop or anything)? Do I have a right to be angry or do I need to just chill out? I'm sure all the guys out there will know where I'm coming from, whether it's right or not for me to feel it we all know there's a part of us that gets pissed off when our gf behaves like that.

Oh, and I already know that the girls who start to condone her behaviour are only doing so because they get like that themselves. This isn't about her behaviour itself, I have no doubts about that there are no grey areas, in my mind it is clearly unacceptable. My question is whether I have a right to feel this way or should I just chill out?

thanks.

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Reply 1
tl; dr summary: gf gets too drunk and behaves like a slag on nights out, I want her to have fun but obviously hate that she becomes so undignified when she's drunk.
I haven't told her what she can and can't do, as I don't feel it's my place, but I do get pissed off about it.

Basically, do I have a right to be angry about it or should I not care and just accept her appalling behaviour?
Reply 2
Your girlfriend's telling you for a reason. Tell her it makes you angry and you don't like her acting like that and that it makes you feel awful knowing she's out acting like that.

Often girls who drink and act like this are quite low on self-esteem and do it for the attention of other men.
Reply 3
Why don't you go out with her on occasions? There is no reason why you can't be friends with her friends as well. When she gets rather drunk you can spend some time together in the corner kissing and when she wakes up in morning she'll feel better because it was you that was touching her.
Be honest with her. Tell her how it makes you feel and don't hold back. Maybe you having an opinion about it may give her the motivation to not drink so much.

You can't stop her going out or getting drunk and that's fair enough - at the end of the day the girl has to take responsibility for her own actions. Maybe when she's in a difficult situation one night, she may shock herself into being more sensible. I don't know. But it just sounds like she hasn't got the maturity to handle her drink or the maturity to drink for pleasure rather than drinking for the effect - I'd give her a piece of my mind if I was her mate tbh.

Out of curiosity, how old are you both?
Tell her to stop that behavior.
It's embarrassing for you to hear about that, and it's embarrassing that people are thinking she's a sketel. and makes you look like an idiot as well.
She can have her fun, I'm not saying she can't, but when it's making her and you look bad. Nah, that's not on.

Dead6re
Why don't you go out with her on occasions? There is no reason why you can't be friends with her friends as well. When she gets rather drunk you can spend some time together in the corner kissing and when she wakes up in morning she'll feel better because it was you that was touching her.

That's really creepy.
Reply 6
Dead6re
Why don't you go out with her on occasions? There is no reason why you can't be friends with her friends as well. When she gets rather drunk you can spend some time together in the corner kissing and when she wakes up in morning she'll feel better because it was you that was touching her.


I don't really like going clubbing and stuff to be honest, never been a fan of that sort of environment. If anything I think if I was there to see her drunk I'd get even MORE angry...at least by not going I don't have to see the **** with my own eyes.

What gets me angry is that she keeps getting drunk again and again, like surely if she didn't like it either she would just have some self control and drink a sensible amount. It just riles me up how she acts out as if she's so disappointed as if it's out of her control, when it is her that gets herself that drunk.
Reply 7
Ilora-Danon
Be honest with her. Tell her how it makes you feel and don't hold back. Maybe you having an opinion about it may give her the motivation to not drink so much.

You can't stop her going out or getting drunk and that's fair enough - at the end of the day the girl has to take responsibility for her own actions. Maybe when she's in a difficult situation one night, she may shock herself into being more sensible. I don't know. But it just sounds like she hasn't got the maturity to handle her drink or the maturity to drink for pleasure rather than drinking for the effect - I'd give her a piece of my mind if I was her mate tbh.

Out of curiosity, how old are you both?


Thank you! That's reassured me that I'm not just being a hard ass and should be feeling this way. That's exactly what I think aswell, she isn't mature enough to be responsible and drink solely for the enjoyment instead of for the sake of getting drunk. We're both 19.
Reply 8
Just tell her to stop getting so drunk if she doesn't like the effects, or shut up and dont moan to you after- but in much nicer terms though:smile: Btw, a lot of girls do this so its not uncommon:smile:
Reply 9
ocelotrevs
That's really creepy.


How can an act of love become creepy? When clubbing, I've seen couples sitting in corners cuddling, kissing. I wasn't meaning touching in places that should be kept for the bedroom.

Anonymous
I don't really like going clubbing and stuff to be honest, never been a fan of that sort of environment. If anything I think if I was there to see her drunk I'd get even MORE angry...at least by not going I don't have to see the **** with my own eyes.

What gets me angry is that she keeps getting drunk again and again, like surely if she didn't like it either she would just have some self control and drink a sensible amount. It just riles me up how she acts out as if she's so disappointed as if it's out of her control, when it is her that gets herself that drunk.


Perhaps her friends are bad influences? They may persuade her to keeping buying drinks. (This may not be the case)

Once you start drinking a few drinks and hit the tipsy stage, it is very very hard to control yourself to stop drinking and let yourself sover up.

As for why she repeats this and doesn't stop, I can't help.

Perhaps she may drink less if you were there? You would also get to dance with her and spend some time. I believe things are more enjoyable with a partner, I hate shopping with a vengence but if my girlfriend wanted to go, I'd put aside this vengence as I want to see her happy and spend time with her.
Reply 10
Sounds excatally like some birds I've shaged from clubs that had bfs, sorry lol ...

I couldn't trust that hoe if it was my gf.
Dead6re
Perhaps she may drink less if you were there? You would also get to dance with her and spend some time. I believe things are more enjoyable with a partner, I hate shopping with a vengence but if my girlfriend wanted to go, I'd put aside this vengence as I want to see her happy and spend time with her.

Or maybe she'd just break up with him for being a control freak? My (now ex) boyfriend hated me going out with friends as guys speak their mind around here, so always insisted on going with me. I resented this so much, told him and we finally came to the conclusion of me going out alone on the condition I wear an engagement ring. I did, every guy seemed to notice and respect me so it was a win-win situation.
Anonymous
(I'm in this situation right now, need to know if I'm right to be reacting the way I am).

My girlfriend goes on nights out (not often, twice a month) and naturally will drink and have fun. If there's anyone who wants her to be happy and have fun it's me! I never go with her because I think she can fully relax and enjoy herself most when I'm not there, plus it's good to have her time with her friends.

However, sometimes she gets too drunk and inevitably has that slutty undignified behaviour coming out of here (obviously, she's too drunk to realise). She gets all funny and flirty, flimsy, clothes all over the place, low cut top falling even futher down..and that's a horny guy's ticket to snoop in and start grinding, touching her up and going in for a kiss.

Fortunately she's not too drunk to realise what's going on and stop it, but the morning after she feels disgusted that she let random strangers see and touch her like that...and gets angry with the situation too. She tells me, and inside I just get pissed off because I think...wtf bitch if you don't like that you start behaving like a slag just drink less then. There's a difference between drinking, for leisure, for some fun...and getting drunk.

Anyway I know I can't really tell her to do anything, or stop her, and I actually want her to have a good time but not resort to behaving the way she does. So when she does tell me I just rub it off like I couldn't care less and tell her that she should only be angry at herself for allowing it to happen. Fair enough she's not in control when she's drunk, but it is in her control to drink to the point of getting drunk.

For that day I just lose all respect for her and find it hard to think that my girlfriend actually has some class and dignity, for that moment she's just no different to those other drunk slags you find at clubs. I think, guys at clubs must look at her and think of her as just another easy drunk girl.

But I'm just wondering, maybe I'm being irrational (although I'm only feeling and thinking it, I never act on it by actually telling her to stop or anything)? Do I have a right to be angry or do I need to just chill out? I'm sure all the guys out there will know where I'm coming from, whether it's right or not for me to feel it we all know there's a part of us that gets pissed off when our gf behaves like that.

Oh, and I already know that the girls who start to condone her behaviour are only doing so because they get like that themselves. This isn't about her behaviour itself, I have no doubts about that there are no grey areas, in my mind it is clearly unacceptable. My question is whether I have a right to feel this way or should I just chill out?

thanks.


Strange how she tells you about other men trying to kiss her etc, maybe shes trying to get you jelous or maybe she wants attention?

If you have a problem with it, tell her...besides girls like men who can take control of a situation. (a bit like the trick of men in suits....:rolleyes: )

But i find girls like this lacking class, they just fit in with the slags...
Reply 13
I shamefully, was just like your girlriend, USED to be mind, but probably worse. Used to go out clubbing not care what i was doing, drink my own body weight, i'm small so drinking effects me WAY more, and not even realise what i was doing. Kissing other guys even though i had a boyfriend and just not caring or even realising what i was doing. However now things have changed, i hardly ever go clubbing, me and my bf completely trust each other, don't enjoy clubbing as much now! but rather just stay in on a friday night with just each other chatting, watching a movie getting drunk..you should try this :smile: hope i helped!
Reply 14
A lot of girls can get drunk without acting like that. Sounds like she is using that as an excuse and probably enjoys the attention when she is out, but feels guilty the next day.
Ahhhh I'm just like the girl in this post. Don't be too harsh on your girlfriend please because it sounds like she has rock-bottom self-esteem the day after anyway. As for telling her she shouldn't drink so much; undoubtedly she is already aware of this, and so you putting it bluntly will not be revelationary news to her, it will just make her feel worse.
I've seen other girls go through this and it's ultimately just down to them, and yes the drinking excessively will be down to immaturity and lack of self-esteem.
Clearly the causes are deeper and it's not a case of you telling her to stop because you reckon she's slaggy= she will actually stop. She will just feel worse and worse.
I think you have the right to be angry she knows how much she drinks, I find it annoying when peope use drink as an excuse to do things which they know they wan to do or they wouldn't of got in that state to begin with.
Talk to her and tell her how you feel about it.
Reply 17
It's unfair of her to rub your nose in it like that - I agree with sunflower. It sounds as though she's either trying to make you jealous or make you be a little more touchy-feely. Girls who do this are often just looking for attention, for whatever reason.

But it isn't wrong to feel like that, by any stretch - if she can't handle drink, she shouldn't be drinking. Which is why I think you should tell her how you feel - be subtle, don't just go "you act slaggy when you're drunk", just next time she brings it up, tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable hearing about other guys touching her up, and that if she doesn't like it, she should calm down with how much she drinks, and remember - it's not you telling her what to do or being controlling, just saying your piece. Don't push, when it's been said, leave it and don't let it escalate. If she respects you, she'll respect (even if she doesn't follow) your input and advice.

Good luck!
Reply 18
She should be embarassed of herself.
Reply 19
I would be pissed off in that situation. You should probably go with her.