Not sure whether this should perhaps become this week’s discussion sticky, but definitely something worthy of discussion, I think (and I’m posting it deliberately in H&R rather than TV because I want to consider it in here with you lot).
I watched this programme on BBC2 last night and found it really quite intriguing. It took 12 15-17 year olds, some of whom were in relationships, some virgins and some who were sexually active outside of relationships, and they signed a pledge to go without sex (this includes oral and hand stuff as well as full sex) for 5 months. They meet every week to discuss how it’s affected them, their attitudes and their social situation. They also got taken away on a couple of residential trips, one which was just a weekend away, and the other a trip to America where they stayed with Christian families whose children had said they will not have sex until marriage.
The kids weren’t followed by cameras all the time, so their sticking to the pledge was based on trust, though they had to confess any “whoopsies” (as the group leader put it) at the weekly meetings. The leaders were Christians but did NOT force their beliefs on the kids; the focus was on them looking at why/with whom they had sex and what it meant to them.
The first thing that struck me was how many of them said they lost their virginity when “really drunk at a house party.” It became fairly apparent that it was not only their attitude to sex that was influencing their behaviour but also the attitude to alcohol. Few of them had really thought about it, and none of the sexually active ones interviewed seemed to find sex as anything fulfilling, rather just “something you do.” I know (from being that age!) that not everyone has quite the same views and doesn’t do the same things, but there’s no denying that there are a lot of kids who DO think that way. However, even within the first few weeks there were some of them commenting on how they felt differently after going to house parties and NOT having sex of any kind and it did seem to be changing their views.
The trip to America was more controversial for me. In the States, a large number of schools ONLY teach abstinence in sex ed. In my opinion this is completely wrong – all they do is say “No sex before marriage,” there is no discussion of what sex is, how it works, its effect on relationships, contraception…it’s no surprise that kids are badly informed and that the USA has the worst teenage pregnancy rate in the Western World. I also didn’t like the evangelical service the kids were taken to – three of them walked out because it just felt so alien to them, whereas one actually was very moved by it. Next week they are going to visit a Silver Ring Thing roadshow, about which I’m going to do some more research and then decide what I think.
So – to everyone: -
If you did see the show, what did you think?
Do you think you could go without sex for 5 months (and if you’re in a relationship, do you think your relationship would survive without sex)?
Do you think this is a good way to get kids to re-evaluate their views on sex?
I’ll post my opinions and personal views once this has got going…