Is this rape

I went out with a guy to a bar, He's in the army and we had a few drinks. I was dressed for a night out and I think I really gave him the idea I was going to put out. I wasnt against putting out at all, if it felt right I would have. We were flirting, but he was inappropriate and ended up pissing me off. After like 3 drinks I felt completely **** and sick and wanted to go home, and he was pestering me to do stuff with him. We ended up in the toilets because i thought I was going to vomit, but then we ended up having sex. I don't remember saying yes, or no. or much. But I do know he was being an absoltute dick during it calling me a dirty slut and saying i loved it. Is that just dirty talk? Was I an absolute cock tease?

Reply 1

bodybuilder22

16

Anonymous

I went out with a guy to a bar, He's in the army and we had a few drinks. I was dressed for a night out and I think I really gave him the idea I was going to put out. I wasnt against putting out at all, if it felt right I would have. We were flirting, but he was inappropriate and ended up pissing me off. After like 3 drinks I felt completely **** and sick and wanted to go home, and he was pestering me to do stuff with him. We ended up in the toilets because i thought I was going to vomit, but then we ended up having sex. I don't remember saying yes, or no. or much. But I do know he was being an absoltute dick during it calling me a dirty slut and saying i loved it. Is that just dirty talk? Was I an absolute cock tease?

no if you enjoyed the sex it cant be rape!

Reply 2

Duckandthat

11

non troll: rape and to the police (probably drugged).

troll: ffs.

Reply 3

BelP

It's a difficult situation- rape isn't always clear. How would it affect you if it was/wasn't? would you consider taking further action?

Reply 4

empop92

5

he sounds like a dick. how do you feel about it now?
if you feel bad about it then maybe you didn't consent.. :s-smilie:

Reply 5

barrze

15

If he had implied consent then no it isn't.
You need to make sure he is clearly aware that that is not what you want.
If you feel raped though go to a rape crisis centre. Although it may not be legally rape you probably will go through the same emotions and feelings of a legally raped person, if that makes sense.

Reply 6

zKlown

19

Anonymous

I went out with a guy to a bar, He's in the army and we had a few drinks. I was dressed for a night out and I think I really gave him the idea I was going to put out. I wasnt against putting out at all, if it felt right I would have. We were flirting, but he was inappropriate and ended up pissing me off. After like 3 drinks I felt completely **** and sick and wanted to go home, and he was pestering me to do stuff with him. We ended up in the toilets because i thought I was going to vomit, but then we ended up having sex. I don't remember saying yes, or no. or much. But I do know he was being an absoltute dick during it calling me a dirty slut and saying i loved it. Is that just dirty talk? Was I an absolute cock tease?

Troll

OR

Rape: Sex without consent basically

So unless you made it clear you didn't want sex in some way, it isn't rape

Reply 7

Disconfigured

3

May as well say it was rape. I mean, if you go to court and are like "I said no.." and he said "she never said no, she was drunk. she didn't know what she was saying" that's grounds for rape right there i'm sure.

Reply 8

RightSaidJames

16

I'm going to agree with the status quo - you "ended up having sex" makes it sound like you weren't interested but let it happen once it had started.

Reply 9

Mess.

20

Disconfigured

May as well say it was rape. I mean, if you go to court and are like "I said no.." and he said "she never said no, she was drunk. she didn't know what she was saying" that's grounds for rape right there i'm sure.

just no

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

ermmm... what would you do if it was? Would you take action? Take it from someone who has been through rape you may sit there thinking now NO I WILL REPORT HIM if its rape but sometimes its just impossible to go through ... especially with the grilling interview that you would get that sort of thing... first decide if you would act if it were rape!

If you won't... just try to put the past behind you and move on

Reply 11

grape:)

22

Do you normally feel crap and ill after just 3 drinks?

Reply 12

Disconfigured

3

meskell

just no

Why not?

Reply 13

Cesare Borgia

10

empop92

if you feel bad about it then maybe you didn't consent.. :s-smilie:

That is the most dangerously retarded idea I've seen all day, really.

Reply 14

Anonymous #3

Firstly, I'd just like to say I have a law degree and work in rape counselling.

The current UK guidelines on rape are any forced sexual act, including vaginal, oral, or otherwise, against the persons will. It also includes sex with somebody who is, to put it simply, too intoxicated to consent properly. It also incluides situations where a guy goes out and gets you drunk. Can I ask, do you always get as affected (in terms of sickness, memory loss) after 3 drinks? Is it possible he drugged you?

Secondly, a vast majority of rape victims 'freeze up' during the rape and are too scared or shocked to respond, and an eqaul amount do not remeber the full details of the rape. Both of these are due to the trauma.

In my opinion, from what you have described, it was rape. And even if you dont want to call it that, he put you in a compromised position and took advantage of that. It doesnt matter if you were prepared to before- UK law states that even if a woman changes her mind halfway through, if the man doesnt stop any sexual activity before that means its rape. Just because you acted a certain way and were drunk, doesnt mean that he had any right to have sex with you. To be honest, by the sounds of what you've put about how he acted, you know deep down the answer to this question.

Please phone a rape crisis helpline or victim support: http://www.victimsupport.org.uk/

and also I'd like to invite all the trash who have posted offensive and incorrect replies to check this website out:
http://www.thisisnotaninvitationtorapeme.co.uk/

I really hope you seek advice. Don't let anyone stupid bring you down, trust yourself. If its recent and any drugs/ fluids may still be in or on your body please go to the police.

Reply 15

thecityscape

10

Disconfigured

May as well say it was rape. I mean, if you go to court and are like "I said no.." and he said "she never said no, she was drunk. she didn't know what she was saying" that's grounds for rape right there i'm sure.

u dum ?

Reply 16

Epic_Beard_Man

Disconfigured

May as well say it was rape. I mean, if you go to court and are like "I said no.." and he said "she never said no, she was drunk. she didn't know what she was saying" that's grounds for rape right there i'm sure.

A good defence lawyer would have the case thrown out of court within 5 minutes after hearing something like that.

Reply 17

Disconfigured

3

thecityscape

u dum ?

No, are you?

RightSaidJames

Because there'd be no evidence that she struggled or tried to prevent him... if she didn't want him at first but then let him get on with it then that's not rape.

Oh.. fair play, I stand corrected. :biggrin:

Epic_Beard_Man

A good defence lawyer would have the case thrown out of court within 5 minutes after hearing something like that.

Lets hope he doesn't have a good defence lawyer then :wink:

BTW- your username is pure win.

Reply 18

Anonymous #3

Just to add, dont feel pressured to go to the police however if you feel it will be too traumatic to be worth it. But please please phone rape crisis or something and ignore all this ignorant people responding negativley. Do you notice most of them are men? Its in their interest, really, to say that having sex with a girl too drunk to respond isnt rape if she signals that way. I'd suggest getting help and not checking this anymore: it will onyl upset you.