Finally Relationship OVER. Watch

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tillgii
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#1
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I met my g/f today after 2 months in person. Day started ****. She wasn’t talking proppa or nothing. Took her to a park, didn’t hardly wanna talk. Couldn’t help asking wat was wrong but I did. Anyway her m8 called while at park. Then after phone call she springs to life and says 'Sorry for being a *****'. I said dont say sorry but tell me why. She said shes scared bout family finding out and lying to them.

Anywya we then go cinema, where i have headaches and she holds my hand and gives me a head massage. Thinking she ok with me, but she refrains from hugging all day apart from 1 hug.

Then go starbucks where she acts down again. So I ask her why again, she first denies it then says im too attached. She asked me why, I told her I dont want to loose her. Then she says we 2 different people, so I ask her what she trying to say. She said nothing but we need to work on things but she loves me and wont leave me.
I asked her if shes attached and she responds with no. SHes never been attached with any 1 and will never be, as she find it a weakness.
Then from no where she said the relationship causing allot of confusion, regarding family arguments, university and its all building up on her. She said by this relationship, lying to every 1, it makes her feel like ****. She feels guilty and while at uni she wont be able to concentrate (although at college she did and I helped her with allot of her revision over the phone).

Anyway then she said first time in her life, that I suufocate her at times. I said why havnt u ever told me this before. She said that she knows how I would react and thought she tell me to the face.

In the end she goes I want u to end it with me as I cant. I said no I cant do that, she goes do it for my happiness. I go no.
In the end she breaks it off.
She walks me to tram station gives me a hug and thats the end.

I come home, after long train delays.
Speak to her on msn, and she said her Bro and Sis in Law might be having a divorce an Mum & Dad Arguing.
She wants to remain best friends and tell me all her secrets ( her own words), but thats as far as it stands.

Im so confused as her actions today was so mixed, and she admitted she didnt intend to end it to day but I kind of pushed it and we did end it but on neutral groundings.
I didnt question her much, as I was so hurt and confused.
Now all the questions are coming to me, but she doesn’t want to ansa them (I understand as its too soon).

I dunno what she wants, as she seems very confident in her decision. Just some things dont add up. She loves me still, this matter of family didnt effect us propeprly until today and she didnt intend to end it but did as it popped to her head and she ended up going with it.
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daniel_williams
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#2
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i think you will jsut have to give her time, she needs some time alone, if her parents are splitting up she needs a friend rather than a boyfriend, thsi is becasue she is reing a relationship end, she doesn't want to have on in the process it makes things harder for her, i am sure when things start to settle down she wil come back to you.in the mean time jsut stay as best friends!
tillgii
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shes told her friends its also over and changed my messages I left her on a website we used. I think she has ended it 4 gud.
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Arry_Munk
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Dont even bother staying friends with her as it will only cause more pain (if you know for sure its over). Not even best friends. Move on. Relationships come and go between 18 and 25. If you need closure - email her, but dont beg for a reprieve. If you reprieve, and she says no, then you will lose your dignity, pride and self esteem. If she has confidence in dumping you then she may have an ulterior motive. Seems odd.

Actually dont bother emailing her anyway. See how quick she comes back to you first ;-)
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tillgii
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Its complicated the whole relationship as it was a long distance one. Its 6am right now and I cant sleep. Its doing my head in, as it was so out of the blue and all the days before this day we was like so in love. Im so confused.

Should I text her asking her to call me as I need answers or should I leave it for a bit?
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tillgii
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I texted her this morning at 6 saying im confused and need answers. Then left a voicemail at 10 asking her to call me as its doing my head in.
Then I realised this cant b easy on her, even though she making it out to be. So Texted her again saying 'forget everything I just said, just let me kno u ok?'
She texted back 4mins later saying 'im ok x'.

I know I should give her time and back off but I dunno if she needs me or not. Shes a person who will keep it all bottled and let her life get messed and afterwards she realises.
She seemed quite sure of the answer she gave yesterday but she said it was what came to her mind and dint intend to break up.

Its so confusing and I just dunno what to do, as this is the first time she actually said it to my face and seemed like she meant it but then she couldnt look at me or talk to me propperly all day.

What am I suppose to do?
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DominicS
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no offence mate, but she sounds like one screwed up lass - she may be having problems at home, but it sounds like she doesn't know what she wants, and has used you as an excuse.

As for friends, wouldn't bother - like someone said, its harder to be friends with ex's, and neither of you know the borders etc.

i would just walk away and leave her as an ex
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tillgii
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hmm I cant though. She made such an impact on my life - family, university, myself as a person. She made me into somthing so much betta.
I couldnt just have her out of my life for good. We spent 8 months and 27 days together.
Day before yesterday she was telling me 4 days left till out 9 months anniversary.
Then when she broke up with me, she said to me we will remain best mates, she will tell me all her secrets and if she ever changed her phone numbers I would be the first to know.

Just dont add up.
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ciara
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Breaking up with you can't have been easy for her, from what she said she clearly can't cut you out of her life either. However, she clearly thinks she's made the right decision and I doubt there's much you can do to change that. It sounds like she has a complicated family life, so it might be better for her. Just be there for her and see how she goes..

Cxx
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SianyLou
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I can see why she feels suffocated...texting and ringing even now it's over!!?? If she doesn't reply, just LEAVE IT. You've done all you can, no amount of pestering will get her back!
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SuperhansFavouriteAlsatian
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You're gonna have to let it go man. What Arry Munk said is right - don't even stay friends. It won't work. Just jump-ship before it really screws you up. You have your whole future ahead of you, as cheesy as it sounds, and you can't let one girl muck it all up for you.
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tillgii
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(Original post by babynessontoast)
I can see why she feels suffocated...texting and ringing even now it's over!!?? If she doesn't reply, just LEAVE IT. You've done all you can, no amount of pestering will get her back!
You dont know her, she makes rash decissions at times. She has a very difficult life and the way she spoke to me didnt make no sense, hence why I was trying to find out.

Were staying best friends and we see what happens from there. She still needs me in her life and I feel the same. Time will tell if it can carry on like this or not I guess.
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r_raghav11
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there's just one word to describe how she feels - cornered and the walls are closing in. Help her by staying with her...i take it frm all that u've said that she's impulsive. Also she aint a great decision maker. If u really love her ...which i think u do...stay with her through these tumultous times and she'll finally hold on to u. Ur patience will be tested but then u got to hang in mate. all the best.
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KerChing
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(Original post by tillgii)
You dont know her, she makes rash decissions at times. She has a very difficult life and the way she spoke to me didnt make no sense, hence why I was trying to find out.

Were staying best friends and we see what happens from there. She still needs me in her life and I feel the same. Time will tell if it can carry on like this or not I guess.
i reckon from what you have said, that she just wanted a way out, like a previous poster said... she's got a lot of things going on in ur life and she was jus using u as an excuse to have something different in life...

if u really honestly think that it will last, leave her for a couple of weeks and if she ever really needs you in her life... then she WILL come bk to you...

btw all that stuff that she will tell you all her secrets.. sounds like BS, she will say that and yeh you will be friends, but you reckon with the next guy that comes into her life that she will tell you stuff about the new relationship.. GET REAL.. move on
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Saffie
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Maybe it's not such a bad thing, a bf/gf relationship is maybe not the right thing for you two. It seems like you were just supporting each other the whole time and she probably couldn't deal with the pressure of being your gf. Be her friend, maybe things will even be better now she doesn't feel pressured into sleeping with you or w/e.

Sorry if I've totally missed the mark, but that's just the impression I've gotten. Hope you're OK. :hugs:
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lilsk8achic666
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try just giving her time to get used to her family situation and the like, dont smother her, be there to talk when she needs you, she may come back to you, she may not, but dont put the rest of your life on hold while shes deciding, u mite meet someone u like
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Arry_Munk
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I know how you feel, but all the staying friends stuff is ********. Ive been there, done it, got dumped, got the t-shirt, medal, she had problems, all worse than your situation etc etc. She wants to stay friends with you its BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO SOMEONE TO FALL ONTO IF IT ALL GOES TITS UP!! You are back up in other words....so in this case you're pretty much being used and it will hurt you're feelings even more. Im sure she has good friends to turn to. She'll get over it. Cest la vie! If she calls you, be nice to her, but dont go out of you're way for her. You may think she needs you in her life, but she doesnt - she wouldnt have finished it otherwise. She hurt you at the end of the day, so you need to get over it. Forget her feelings. Youre hurting more than her. She may have her own problems, but letting it become yours will only make you feel worse. Dont give her preferential treatment because she's your ex. Think about yourself, and ultimately, think about where YOU ****ed up in the relationship. You will be a better person if you do and you will better prepare yourself for proper realtionship next time.
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tillgii
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#18
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Well ive decided to give her time and remain her best mate if she allows that. This was my first ever real propper meaningful relationship. If I end up getting hurt even more ill take the risk, im at the moment, not as bad as I thort I would be. I mean she is talking to me over msn still, but just not on the phone.

She aint a girl to move on to a next guy as the whole point of this break up was she cant handle the pressures of tip toeing round her family. Her family found out about us and her mum werent happy at all and her bro made us split once but she still made up with me couple of day later.

I dont think she would get back with me at the present moment in time, as shes always at home with her family. Who knows, mayb once shes settled at UNI she might want to make things work.
All I know is I aint a guy who wants or whos looking for another relationship. When I started going out with her, it wasnt planned she was a mate and I just fell for her. At uni I chat to girls but I dont allow myself to get attached or even friendly outside of uni.

So ill take my chances with her, if it works then great and if not then thats me done with relationships while im at Uni.
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Apricot Fairy
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Was I reading it wrong, or did you seriously say you met her for the first time today, after 2 months, and now it's over? :confused:

Is that two months of being together when you'd never met her before, or am I reading it wrong?
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tillgii
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#20
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wrong I didnt meet her in 2 months cause of exams and holiday, then when I got back ive met her twice in 2 months.
Would of been more, but had work and stuff.
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