The Student Room Group

is st. mary's really that bad?

i've applied to durham to university college but fear if i don't get into castle i'll be put in st mary's cos i'm a girl. i'd much rather be put in a) a bailey college and b) a mixed college and i'm thinking of rejecting the offer if i get one.

but i want to know first, what do current durham students really think of st. marys? particularly those at st marys...

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Reply 1
pinkegokane
i've applied to durham to university college but fear if i don't get into castle i'll be put in st mary's cos i'm a girl. i'd much rather be put in a) a bailey college and b) a mixed college and i'm thinking of rejecting the offer if i get one.

but i want to know first, what do current durham students really think of st. marys? particularly those at st marys...


Well, I'm not a Durham student, but I can help out with the second part of your problem because I am in a single sex college. Lots of people are unsure about taking up their offers because they don't like the idea of being in a single sex environment, for whatever reason. However most people soon change their minds when they arrive. For one thing, it is not like you would have no contact with men. I know this is even less of an issue at Durham than it is at Oxford and Cambridge becasue no teaching actually goes on in college. You will meet men in tutorials, classes, lectures, in the library, at social events, through sports, clubs and societies, and in many other areas of university life. Single sex colleges often go much further than other colleges in the social side of things by holding joint events with other colleges, and often their students are much more involved in the university and not just in college life. If you have any serious problems with the single sex thing you're quite welcome to PM me. The other thing you should bear in mind is that St mary's is actually going co-educational; I think the college will encourage applications from men as of next year. But don't be too hasty; this situation might not even arise.

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I thought you were going to St. Marys Uni then, God that place is crap.
Reply 3
Hello

I'm at St. Mary's in Durham. I applied to Collingwood and got put into Mary's, however if I knew then what I know now, I'd choose Mary's everytime!

Good things about Mary's are:
*It probably has the best location of all the colleges. It is next to the science site and no more than 20 minutes to anywhere else.
*The buildings are lovely. We have an 'old' building and a 'new' building, with lots off greenery and bunny wabbits.
*All the rooms are cabled, and 1st years move each term so that no one has to share for more than 1 term.
*Only women use the bath rooms. The toilet seats are always down and they are rarely smelly! After seeing other colleges I really appreciate this.
*You can go to breakfast in your pyjamas and not care who sees you.
*You wont have to see last nights pull at the breakfast table!

To be honest, I haven't missed living with men at all. I have made male friends outside college, from my subject and through getting involved with clubs and societies. We have loads of men come to our bar too! It's not that men aren't allowed in (my boyf regularly comes to stay), its that we get to choose the nice ones :smile:

The funniest thing has to be when the fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night and you can spot all the men trying to look inconspicuous tee hee.

I definately wouldn't turn down Durham because I was offered a place at Mary's.

ez
Reply 4
Just thought I'd add, not wanting to strat a slanging match, but knowing what I know now, I wouldn't have gone to Durham if Castle had offered me a place. Urg!

the word arrogant springs to mind ... (not saying you are, but the college atmosphere is). Imagine walking around wearing a top saying 'we rule the rest'. Would you expect people to like you!

ez
Reply 5
You said you wanted people's opinion of Mary's, and not just those who went to the college. So...

Generally Mary's seems to be ok. Like Ez said, it's in a good position for the Science Site. and it's only a short walk down the road to the lecture theatres. But the Bailey colleges are better for Classics/Theology/Philosophy/Modern History (i.e. Arts).


Quite a few of the Mary's girls tend to end up in our bar (Cuths) because Mary's bar is a dive, and Cuths is the first bailey college you get to after crossing the river. This used to be a bit of a problem because the bridge linking the two, Prebends, didn't have any lighting but it does now which has improved it... It's still recommended to walk with others after closing time (but that's just commonsense).


We also have a joint-ent in the first week - it's a sort of tradition I think, left over from when Cuths had a very high proportion of men in it.


You might get a tiny-weeny bit of stick for going to Mary's, but nothing hardcore, just the obvious jokes etc but it's all fairly tongue-in-cheek.


Anyway the girls there that I've met seem nice (I even went out with one) and all seem to be fine with it. As there is a rumour that Mary's is going mixed anyway (don't know at what point).


But for all that, if you don't get into Castle then you're not automatically going to get put in Mary's and may even end up in Cuths which is as i said a Bailey college (well, society...). Castle isn't that stuck-up, not compared with Hatfield and it has a bloody nice bar (you might realise that part of how I rate the colleges depends on their bar!). If you get put in the castle you'll be the envy of the uni and although I've heard complaints of the accomodation in moatside, it's v. central so ideal for going to Klute nightclub... Which may or may not be your idea of fun... Sorry, rambling... Anyway in conclusion, Durham's an excellent choice - Castle is a really good choice, Mary's is not as bad as you fear and Cuths rocks (I have to say that!).
Reply 6
Yey some positivity about Castle and from a non-Castleite (actually is Castleman the phrase?) I know it wasn't for me but thank you Old Bailey for posting anyhow - I was getting worried about the number of people who've said it's incredibly snobby and rah-ish (I'm a state school student).

I promise that I will not wear a sweatshirt saying 'We rule the rest' if I go to Castle!
Reply 7
No probs. I'm in Cuths but also went to a state school. I've had no problems at all and the people I've met in Castle have all been cool. After the first week or so no-one really remembers, although you will find that some people talk about "James from Eton", and "When we were at Harrow.." etc. I love Durham and, in my opinion, it really doesn't matter that you come from a state school or public school.

However, be warned against making promises you might not keep, e.g. wearing college T-Shirts (or 'stash' as it's known - rhymes with cash and lash... kinda stating the obvious there.. anyhoo..).

Let me explain... All the colleges have a lot of 'college spirit'. How much 'spirit' the individual has is generally in direct correlation to their involvement in the college, although this is not a hard and fast rule. This can manifest itself, in one form, in the wearing of stash.

Wearing stash (not necessarily the type that causes members of other colleges to hunt you down in a wild chase and beat you black and blue) also helps identify fellow comrades in the first few weeks of term - or, if you're feeling adventurous, identifying people to talk to in other colleges if you want to get to know people outside your college. Also, you can spot fit people and find out what college they're in!

Polo and rugby shirts are the most common forms - you can spot the Rahs by looking at the collar - collar up = Rah, down = normal. Again, this is not universal. There are Rahs who try not to be Rahs (and do a good job until they mention that Daddy bought them a new car just after they've written off their old one, etc) and non-Rahs who wear their collars up because they prefer it, or in some cases aspire to be Rahs.

Wow I didn't know I could write so much about stash!
Reply 8
he's right, i came from a state school and i haven't had any problems as yet, people i have met from castle seem nice and there are quite a few normal ones! And Rahs in general aren't all that bad anyway, i quite like the ones i know, it's not their fault they are like that (and they can be quite funny to be around sometimes, especially when they get into arguments!........'shut up or i'll buy your house'.....classic line!)

Mary's isn't that bad btw, me and Han just got a bit carried away with how wonderful Cuths was, didn't mean to say anything bad about any other college!! (except possibly Hatfield...) Mary's is in a great place, really close to everything, and apparently really nice! And anyway i put in an open application and got put in Cuths, and a friend of mine got put in Castle, so you never know where you are gonna end up!

ooooh stash is good! (lash is good, cash is good.......haha) i have been meaning to get some Cuths stash, a bit of college pride is nothing to be ashamed of!
Reply 9
AmyBlue
me and Han didn't mean to say anything bad about any other college!! (except possibly Hatfield...)

It's our divine right to slate Hatfield at every opportunity! [Did that sound too strong?!]
Reply 10
'shut up or i'll buy your house' - hee!

I will stand here in my wrongness and be wrng and take back my promise not to wear stash here and now. Durham sounds brilliant!
Reply 11
Ive heard they kill u at st marry and u fail university
Reply 12
How did you find that out? I must track down the person who leaked that story and kill them at once.

Although, on a similar note, there is an urban legend that if your room-mate dies/ kills themself, you automatically get a 2:1 in your degree..

Oh, and katiyakat, good to see that you'll be wearing stash! You're right, Durham's ace, and if you're going to the open day in March then you should be totally convinced.
Reply 13
Durham (University College) was my first choice, but then I got an offer from st.Mary's so I'm not going!!! Grrr... And on UCAS it said I had an offer from University College, so I was really dissapointed when I found out.
I would hate to live in an all female college (btw is it true that girls who live together get their period at the same time? Imagine a whole college full of girls with PMS...).
ezmirelda

*It probably has the best location of all the colleges. It is next to the science site and no more than 20 minutes to anywhere else.

Well, I applied for PPE so I couldn't care less about the science site.
ezmirelda

*You can go to breakfast in your pyjamas and not care who sees you.

I go to school in pyjamas anyways, so it doesn't really apply to me.
Reply 14
i just don't understand why everyone has a problem with living with all girls, it's not like there are no men anywhere in Durham..........there are at least 4 that i know of.

and yeah women who live together tend to synchronise, but women who live in close proximity to men have shorter cycles = more periods, which personally i think would be worse than college wide PMS, which i think sounds fun hehe
Reply 15
^Well it's too far away from Cambridge anyways...
Reply 16
is it true that girls who live together get their period at the same time?

Yeah, that's absolutely true. We all start our periods on the third of each month. It's the rules.

Ive heard they kill u at st mary and u fail university

Yeah, that's true as well. St Mary's is entirely populated by dead bodies, and hence, they all fail. It makes perfect sense!

Not going to Durham because you can't bear to walk more than 5 minutes to the nearest man is cutting off your nose to spite your face. If your that socially challenged, you probably wont get very far in a mixed college! :smile:

ez
Reply 17
ezmirelda
is it true that girls who live together get their period at the same time?

Yeah, that's absolutely true. We all start our periods on the third of each month. It's the rules.

Ive heard they kill u at st mary and u fail university

Yeah, that's true as well. St Mary's is entirely populated by dead bodies, and hence, they all fail. It makes perfect sense!

Not going to Durham because you can't bear to walk more than 5 minutes to the nearest man is cutting off your nose to spite your face. If your that socially challenged, you probably wont get very far in a mixed college! :smile:

ez

females are bitchy :tongue:
Reply 18
Linda
females are bitchy :tongue:

Classic! :smile:
Linda
females are bitchy :tongue:


Well there are still plenty of equally bitchy females in mixed colleges. And that's a bit of a genralisation don't you think?

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