The Student Room Group

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TrentEnd
In short, do they ever work?

For example, are you and your boy/girlfriend at different unis? How did you manage?


Try different countries, they can work, but often people just change (especially when they go to university) so when you meet up it's as different people.
Reply 2
Im in a long distance relationship at d moment, been init for nearly 2 months, Ive seen my girl once a week, but when I start uni it will be very tough to see her, as both of us will be studying and we live over 100 miles apart. IF you both are commited then you can make it work, otherwise they simply wont work, but dont end up hurting one another by playing her/him.
Reply 3
I think it depends how long you have been with the person before the long distance split happens! ...Mine didn't work!
Reply 4
As a rule of thumb, they don't work.
Reply 5
The success of a LDR depends entirely on how the people communicate when apart and how they can cope with the other person changing (sometimes it's good, sometimes it leads to a break up!). It's all about effort.

My last relationship disintigrated basically because of the distance.. and now I'm in a new relationship where the distance is even greater! I do have more hope for this new one though because we just keep in contact so much more and we're in similar situations (both being at uni) so we can sympathise and have things in common even though we're not together.

Distance is totally heart breaking though, it's really hard to think "if I was closer then we could see each other.." and thinking about all those people who can see your bf/gf and you can't it very upsetting :frown:.
Reply 6
sokas
I think it depends how long you have been with the person before the long distance split happens! ...Mine didn't work!

I think even with a weight of time behind you they can still fail if people don't make the effort. You also have to work on the premise that one day you'll eventually be together otherwise there's just no point really.
Reply 7
ldr for almost 3 years. i think it can work. depends how you really feel about the person, and whether or not they're worth it.
blissy
I think even with a weight of time behind you they can still fail if people don't make the effort. You also have to work on the premise that one day you'll eventually be together otherwise there's just no point really.


Absolutely. I spent 5 years in a relationship that was often long distance, it fell apart when we realised that our lives were going in different directions.
I was in a LDR for a year but we grew apart, we both changed and we weren't really a part of each other's plans so we kind of stopped speaking, we didn't even know what the other person was doing, and decided to call it off.

Saying that, I don't think all LDRs wont work. I just don't like the idea. But if I was to move away from the guy I'm with now I would really make an effort to keep it going, some things are worth it, some aren't, and sometimes things change. You just can't say what will or wont work :smile: good luck with it
I've been in a relationship with about 350 miles between us for what will be 6 months on Friday (:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:) and it's going fine. There are obvious differences - we don't get to see each other as often, but that means that the time we do have together is more special, and we make the effort to make it work. We do talk every day without fail, and see each other as often as we can, and it isn't always easy: as people have said you do miss the person, and wish you were like other couples who get to see each other every day, but if you put in the effort then there's no reason it shouldn't work out.
Reply 11
When my bf went to uni last yr we had been 2gether about 8 months, and we are still together a year later. We had no major problems at all while we were apart.
His first choice was cambridge, but he didnt meet the offer (stupid STEP papers, he got 7 As at A2 lol) so when we found out he was going to warwick (insurance) it was a major relief distance-wise. Also, i am EXTREMELY jealous, and the fact that the only girl he's really friends with is his mates gf helped also.

The distance will increase when i go to keele next week, but we both know that we are awesome together :cool: , and it will work :biggrin:
TrentEnd
In short, do they ever work?

If you put the effort in, it will work. Simple as.
Yay this is all very reassuring...
I'm going to Warwick next week (eek!) and am planning on staying with my bf of 4 months, who'll carry on his life as it is now. I'm praying it'll work, so it's good to hear that people do actually have successful LDRs :biggrin:
Each case is different, if you make it work, it should, but not always so it's not your fault if either of you can't handle it... and to think my bf's worried just coz I'm going to uni! I'll be closer (distance wise) to him at uni than now! lol
yes they DO work! if you want them to! my bf went to manchester uni last year, he originally wanted to do medicine, but didnt get in, so it was all v last min, but anyway he ended up at manc! cos im a year younger, i stayed here in derbyshire, while he went off :frown: it was hard, we'd been together 2 years then,so i missed him loads, and i was kind of jealous of him-uni life sounded really exciting- he was out all the time, whilst i was stuck being bored in the 6th form! we didn't see each other every week religiously like a lot of people i know...it would have been so selfish of me to ask to do that-i wanted him to be able to enjoy his first year at uni and not have to be constantly travelling on the train every weekend! So sometimes, it'd be 5 or 6 weeks before we saw each other. It was tough, but then when we did finally meet up again it was so cool :smile:

anyway, i applied for uni and only got one offer for medicine....from...manchester! yey! so now, i'm off next week, and we'll be at the same place! its cool as neither of us planned it, and we haven't sacrificed anything for each other-it just happened this way. so yes, moral is long distance does work, u just have to trust each other and let things take their course-don't plan stuff, and DEFINITELY don't force your boyfriend/girlfriend to come back every weekend!
Reply 16
I was in a relationship at boarding school so it meant for some of the time we were a long distance apart, she recently split with me after 11 months, and if anything, when i go to uni, i'll be closer to her at school and home!!!

Don't get me wrong, we loved each other lots, and were in masses of communication everyday, but it just didn't work...
Some do, some don't.


But I'd say the ones that don't work, the end was always gonna come, the distance just accelerates it.
Although a relationship that is long distance because of uni is different to one that is just, well, long distance. I'd suppose that uni splits people up because the couples are so used to being in eachothers pockets, so the time apart/temptations/change in lifestyle are all so sudden.

With relationships that are long distance all the time, well, that wouldn't be so much of a shock...


...but then you lot get the holidays too. No fair.
Reply 19
I've replied to this type of thread so many times, lol. Just over a year so far, and we were long-distance already before I went to uni so that wasn't a big change to get used to. We just try to talk everyday, tell each other pretty much everything that is happening while we're apart so neither of us feels left out of each other's lives. And make as regular plans to meet up as possible.