love?

ey up,
so i had a bit of a wobbly one with my girlfriend last night. We've been together for about for months now and we're sat i bed last night and she says "i love you", to which my response was "i like you very much". This made things very awkward and we sat around for a little while. She went to have a smoke, which was purely becuase of what i had done. She rarely smokes! Anyway, i don't know how to resolve this. I've told her i love her before but from the start of our relationship i told her i'm not too comfortable saying it because i don't know what it means. Truth is, prehaps i'm not in love with her. I feel strongly for her, i've never felt like this for anyone but i'm still not sure its love. Help me out please!!!

Reply 1

The Albatross

12

unfortunately, only you can know whether you are in love with her or not. But it has been said that when you are, you know, and if you doubt it you're not. But its a load of bull$&!£ and its different for everyone.

Reply 2

musicbloke

17

If she insists on basing your relationship on silly concepts that she has no means of proving the existence of then maybe she needs to grow up.

MB

Reply 3

Kew

16

I don't think love is a silly concept; it is certainly different from 'liking somebody very, very much'. However, I think think your girlfriend should realise that different people fall in love at different speeds; and that for some people, it can be hard to differentiate between liking/fancying someone very much, and actually being in love.

Reply 4

Trousers

11

Right now, your girlfriend will be panicking and thinking you don't feel the same way about her as she feels about you. This is bad. You need to tell her what you just told us, and hopefully she will understand.

Reply 5

hener

And let a lesson be learnt from this, LIE!!! I tell girls i love them without even thinking about it!!

Reply 6

Adhsur

15

musicbloke

If she insists on basing your relationship on silly concepts that she has no means of proving the existence of then maybe she needs to grow up.

MB

For you a relationship might be a silly idea too - in fact, why be together at all, no? If the rest of your views are so distorted, maybe your advice won't be too great.

When you are in a relationship these concepts aren't silly at all!

Reply 7

DeLboY

Schoolboy error!

It's just a word ffs, you aren't committing to anything by telling your girl that you love her! If you are going to get in to semantics every time you're girl shows you some affection, then she isn't going to stick around until you've come up with the right word to convey your emotions.

Reply 8

Ema18

1

davesmate

ey up,
so i had a bit of a wobbly one with my girlfriend last night. We've been together for about for months now and we're sat i bed last night and she says "i love you", to which my response was "i like you very much". This made things very awkward and we sat around for a little while. She went to have a smoke, which was purely becuase of what i had done. She rarely smokes! Anyway, i don't know how to resolve this. I've told her i love her before but from the start of our relationship i told her i'm not too comfortable saying it because i don't know what it means. Truth is, prehaps i'm not in love with her. I feel strongly for her, i've never felt like this for anyone but i'm still not sure its love. Help me out please!!!

The solution to yr dillemma is simple...if u love her (which only u can know) then tell her and if not then explain to her how u do feel. At the end of the day if u don't love her it doesn't mean that u never will.

Iv been with my b/f for 7 months and said I love u after about 6 weeks cos that was rite for us, its different for every1.

Reply 9

Holleh

it might just be too soon for you too know. I think you need to think about your relationship and how you feel about her. Do not tell her you love her if you dont truely mean it, you will only hurt her in the long run. People above have said its just a word, but it has such deep meaning to some people so dont use it lightly.

My boyfreind first told me he loves me after we had been together for only a week, and i felt the same way about him. We are still together now after 3 and half year and i know he meant it. For us it happened very quickly, for others it just takes a bit longer.

Reply 10

ChemistBoy

16

You might as well have said, "you're ugly and I don't find you attractive in the slightest". I suggest you put aside your philosophical wranglings and decide whether you want the relationship to continue or not.

Reply 11

kikzen

14

musicbloke

If she insists on basing your relationship on silly concepts that she has no means of proving the existence of then maybe she needs to grow up.

MB

and use some commas.

Reply 12

dogtanian

16

hener

And let a lesson be learnt from this, LIE!!! I tell girls i love them without even thinking about it!!

Oh dear god.

So you toy with their emotions, convince them that you feel something deeper than you really do, just to get in their knickers?

What a charmer :rolleyes:

Reply 13

hener

That's always the plan! not always successful, so i just try the next one!

Reply 14

Catski

If I were you maybe I wouldn't have said precisely "I like you very much"... its obviously great that you are honest with her and like you I don't like telling people I love them when I'm not sure, but possibly next time evade it a bit?
Maybe just smile and kiss her, you know? Or say thank you :P

Reply 15

dogtanian

16

hener

That's always the plan! not always successful, so i just try the next one!

Then what a pleasant bloke you are.

You do realise it'll end up feeling empty and no one'll be able to trust you when you actually mean it, right?

Reply 16

adamu

davesmate

ey up,
so i had a bit of a wobbly one with my girlfriend last night. We've been together for about for months now and we're sat i bed last night and she says "i love you", to which my response was "i like you very much". This made things very awkward and we sat around for a little while.

Im not suprised it was awkward mate - by saying you liked her and not returning the guesture she is likely to feel doubtfull about whether shes is as important to you as you are to her.

I don't know how to resolve this. I've told her i love her before but from the start of our relationship i told her i'm not too comfortable saying it because i don't know what it means.

Don't say something you don't mean. You did the right thingy, teling her you love her when you are unsure would give her false hope. Instead you should talk to her about how you feel, reassuring her that just because you don't think you 'love' her now it doesnt mean you won't in the future.

Truth is, prehaps i'm not in love with her. I feel strongly for her, i've never felt like this for anyone but i'm still not sure its love. Help me out please

'Love' as such isn't 'silly' as other people have said, infact its very important to alot of people, to others it is less important. Love is unique to everyone. The term is used far too quickly in relationships. People feel pressured to say 'i love you' and this really shouldent be the case.

You seem like a nice bloke, just don't rush into things. One day you will fell so close to her and you will know when you are ready to say it and mean that you love her.

Remember saying i love you is easy, showing it is most important.

Good luck

Reply 17

hener

dogtanian

Then what a pleasant bloke you are.

You do realise it'll end up feeling empty and no one'll be able to trust you when you actually mean it, right?

Thank you very much.

Not all the girls know each other and discuss what i've said to them and therefore there would be no reason why they wouldn't trust me!!