Anon or delete please
So, I'm going to university in october and have started getting to know this girl who'll be starting there as well following an open day there. All was going fantastically but then I asked whether she had a boyfriend... to which she quickly told me she didn't. Thereafter I let my feelings for her escalate. However, it then emerged after a week or so that she had a really close "guy friend"... a week later I found out that he was in fact her fully fledged boyfriend but they'd just been having a bit of an off patch. All the while my feelings for her had been getting stronger and stronger, to the point where I openly admitted that I liked her - something she was slightly taken aback by. Even after I revealed this to her we continued to talk regularly including about her boyfriend's faults... This has all left me incredibly confused.
What do people think I should do now? How should I handle our relationship further? I'm worried that being around her is going to cause me too much emotional grief and stress, so I'm now contemplating whether I should try to avoid seeing her too much come october. The trouble is I love being around her - a feeling which seems to be reciprocated - I don't want to end up losing a good friend because of all this!
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What should I do? watch
- Thread Starter
- 26-07-2010 22:46
- 26-07-2010 23:03
Oh man, she's got you by the hairy round things, right where she wants you.
I think you need to distance yourself from this girl. You may get warm fuzzy feelings of devotion being around her, but it's obviously also distressing for you and this is not a healthy way to begin any relationship. This girl has a boyfriend and now a devoted guy friend whom she can get emotional comfort from when the boyfriend isn't enough. She has no incentive not to just take you for granted while she does the easy thing and stays with him.
Make it clear that you like her and that you're prepared to be casual friends, but if she wants someone she can be emotionally close to then she needs to start considering your feelings and treating you with some respect. If she chooses her bf over you then fine, move on. There's no point staying around to get whipped by her.