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Brother's bestfriend watch

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    Anon for obvious reasons

    A few weeks ago at a party at my house i ended up in bed with my brother's best friend
    We've been friends for ages (about 11 years) and used to talk a fair bit
    We were both pretty tipsy etc and we were talking and he kissed me
    I made it clear we weren't going to have sex but we did other stuff
    One of my brothers friends walked in on us both topless with his hands down my pants (i don't think he remembers though which is good)
    So then yeah, we realised we should probably stop and i put my top back on, he cuddled up to me and we fell asleep
    I woke up at about 11 the next day and he'd already left, found his stretcher in my bed so he asked me to give it to my brother so he'd get it back
    we haven't really spoken since

    I think my brother knows something happened, just not what, and i want things to go back to how they were with the guy again, should i start talking to him or leave it?
    I know i messed up a bit but it was so good at the time
    What should i doo?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i want things to go back to how they were with the guy again
    The way they were before that night or on that night?
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    Leave it. He'll eventually start treating you the same if you do...that is until you both become drunk again.
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    Just leave it, there is a chance he doesn't know or is unsure. Just try getting back into your normal conversations/behaviour towards each other.
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    My best advice would be to talk to him about it. Too many questions may remain unanswered and they might appear again at a moment or another...
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    (Original post by EssRidge)
    The way they were before that night or on that night?
    Before that night
    I don't want to get into anything with anyone with uni coming up
    And there's another guy i've been getting closer too
    Besides, it was kinda weird cause he's more like a best friend than anything more, but i was drunk and he was damn good at what he was doing
    We haven't really talked at all so should i just talk like we did before?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    but i was drunk
    Yerse, most of the threads on H&R are caused by this. :holmes:

    I would just leave it. Either he feels the same way and won't want to take anything further (problem solved) or he thinks he should pursue you, in which case just freeze him out (don't respond to any of his suggestions).

    Give it some time, things will go back to normal. If you're hot, it will take longer.
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    Just tell him straightforwar that even though we had some fun, your just not up for a relationship or anything even though he's nice blah blah blah.
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    (Original post by EssRidge)
    Yerse, most of the threads on H&R are caused by this. :holmes:

    I would just leave it. Either he feels the same way and won't want to take anything further (problem solved) or he thinks he should pursue you, in which case just freeze him out (don't respond to any of his suggestions).

    Give it some time, things will go back to normal. If you're hot, it will take longer.
    It's not a question of it going further, we both know even if we wanted to it cant and shouldn't really
    and neither of us are particularly relationshippy people
    But i'm just sick of waiting for him to talk to me and i'm getting worried that if i talk to him first he'll think i want it to turn into something etc especially seeing as most of our previous conversations were banter about how much he wanted to 'do me' (all jokingly at first)
    I miss the playful conversations/conversations in general but i think if i talked to him like that now he'd see it as me trying it on
    i'm probably over thinking things and making a mountain out of a mole hill but yeah :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But i'm just sick of waiting for him to talk to me and i'm getting worried that if i talk to him first he'll think i want it to turn into something etc especially seeing as most of our previous conversations were banter about how much he wanted to 'do me' (all jokingly at first)
    I miss the playful conversations/conversations in general but i think if i talked to him like that now he'd see it as me trying it on
    Well, yeah, flirting with him now would probably give him the wrong idea. But unfortunately you can't have it both ways at the moment (the old playful conversations and having it all be innocent).

    It just takes time. Give it a few weeks without thinking about him if you can, and things will naturally get back to normal
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    (Original post by EssRidge)
    Well, yeah, flirting with him now would probably give him the wrong idea. But unfortunately you can't have it both ways at the moment (the old playful conversations and having it all be innocent).

    It just takes time. Give it a few weeks without thinking about him if you can, and things will naturally get back to normal
    Yeah, it's not hugely upsetting me, just annoying me that i might have screwed up an 11 year long friendship, plus him and my brother haven't really spoken much since and whenever he's mentioned in conversation my brother seems off
    and he keeps making comments, like asking me if i've ever done anything i've regretted when drunk etc
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    whenever he's mentioned in conversation my brother seems off
    and he keeps making comments, like asking me if i've ever done anything i've regretted when drunk etc
    Hahahahahaha. Sorry, I shouldn't be laughing, but that's quite a funny brotherly reaction.

    Maybe you could tell him the truth though. It could strain his friendship with his mate if he thinks the two of you had sex. We men can be quite protective of our sisters, especially younger ones. :hmmm:
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    (Original post by EssRidge)
    Hahahahahaha. Sorry, I shouldn't be laughing, but that's quite a funny brotherly reaction.

    Maybe you could tell him the truth though. It could strain his friendship with his mate if he thinks the two of you had sex. We men can be quite protective of our sisters, especially younger ones. :hmmm:
    Ahaa i know right , he's normally fine with things like this
    and he doesnt really have a leg to stand on seeing as he did the same thing with my french friend
    I just said the time i whitied and he looked after me x)
    And idk, saying 'i didnt have sex with him but did everything else ' might not go down too well
    He's never normally protective, trust him to choose now
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    :rolleyes: Simple. Ignore him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ahaa i know right , he's normally fine with things like this
    and he doesnt really have a leg to stand on seeing as he did the same thing with my french friend
    I just said the time i whitied and he looked after me x)
    And idk, saying 'i didnt have sex with him but did everything else ' might not go down too well
    He's never normally protective, trust him to choose now
    Yes, this is how a lot of men see it.

    I sleep with her friend: fine, good on me
    She sleeps with my friend, especially one I've known for a long time or am a bit competitive with: :mad:

    You could just say "I didn't have sex with him". No need for the last four words. :p:
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    (Original post by EssRidge)
    Yes, this is how a lot of men see it.

    I sleep with her friend: fine, good on me
    She sleeps with my friend, especially one I've known for a long time or am a bit competitive with: :mad:

    You could just say "I didn't have sex with him". No need for the last four words. :p:
    Aha, so hypocritical
    I think he saw it coming tbh
    but i'd much rather not bring it up at all with him seeing as he's a little bit too embarrassed to approach the subject directly
    he'll move on
 
 
 
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