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Messed up first year, how can I improve in second year?

Social wise I messed up my chances in making friends and, for the majority of first year, have been quiet and reluctantly anti social in class.

I screwed up big time and its my fault that I'm perceived in a negative way.

How can I improve this in the second year? How likely is it that your classmates would totally change their mind on you?

Has anyone been through this before and how have you coped it?

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Reply 1

facetious

Join a society, get involved.

Reply 2

Blueflare

I was the exact same mate.

Make sure you talk to people all the time, get to class 5 or 10 minutes early and get chatting to people waiting. Classes will be smaller so it's easy to get talking to the same people regularly. And talk in seminars.

Also join a society to meet people with common interests.

Reply 3

+ polarity -

I know exactly what you mean.

Have you considered why you were reluctantly 'anti-social'? :holmes:

I've been thinking about what went wrong (as it were :rolleyes:

) a lot, and now I think I know what I need to change. :pwnd:

Reply 4

WildStriker

+ polarity -

I know exactly what you mean.

Have you considered why you were reluctantly 'anti-social'? :holmes:

I've been thinking about what went wrong (as it were :rolleyes:

) a lot, and now I think I know what I need to change. :pwnd:

Yes I have. I was reluctantly anti social because I knew that I couldn't pretend to be confident because that way people would know. I also couldn't give myself time to open myself because I was under social stress most of the time (it doesn't help when you're in a group of 15 and more).

Reply 5

+ polarity -

WildStriker

I can relate, in a way. :mmm:

Are you living with people next year? In halls again? :dontknow:

Reply 6

Broderss

Just chat at them long enough and often enough until they are so used to you that you become friends.

Reply 7

Broderss

+ polarity -

I know exactly what you mean.

Have you considered why you were reluctantly 'anti-social'? :holmes:

I've been thinking about what went wrong (as it were :rolleyes:

) a lot, and now I think I know what I need to change. :pwnd:

What was your issue, if I may ask?

Reply 8

+ polarity -

Broderss

What was your issue, if I may ask?

I was really really self-conscious, so I spent a... lot of time in my room :innocent:

, avoided people, declined invitations... everything you're not supposed to do. :slap:

Reply 9

Broderss

+ polarity -

I was really really self-conscious, so I spent a... lot of time in my room :innocent:

, avoided people, declined invitations... everything you're not supposed to do. :slap:

Yeah I was extremely self conscious and had low self esteem, so to go out took a lot of hard work and effort and it got to the point it was too exhausting and I just wanted to spend time alone.

This only developed after a couple of months though :s-smilie:

Looks like we're in the same boat :cookie:

Reply 10

Crazy Paving

Deal with it, it is not going to change anytime soon. :nope:

Reply 11

+ polarity -

Broderss

Looks like we're in the same boat :cookie:

So, how are we going to fix this? :p:

Reply 12

Broderss

+ polarity -

So, how are we going to fix this? :p:

I think we need to find what we are self conscious about or what aspect of us causes low self esteem and either change it or change our attitude toward it.

But now it is time for bed :yawn:

Reply 13

+ polarity -

Broderss

I think we need to find what we are self conscious about or what aspect of us causes low self esteem and either change it or change our attitude toward it.

But now it is time for bed :yawn:

Done

Good night. I may PM you later. :ninja:

Reply 14

Broderss

+ polarity -

Done

Good night. I may PM you later. :ninja:

Good night polski. I may or may not be expecting that PM.

Reply 15

WildStriker

+ polarity -

I can relate, in a way. :mmm:

Are you living with people next year? In halls again? :dontknow:

Not with the same people I don't think. But if my new flatmates turn out to be extreme extroverts, it would be beyond my capability to try and be friends with them.

Reply 16

Melon_smasher

I thought you'd messed up ur grades mate !!

Try the library. Theres people there.

Reply 17

+ polarity -

WildStriker

Not with the same people I don't think. But if my new flatmates turn out to be extreme extroverts, it would be beyond my capability to try and be friends with them.