My boyfriend is insecure Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 8 years ago
#1
Anon as he uses this site
So we've been together for nearly a year, and we were kind of friends at sixth form before that
He knew from the start of the relationship that my parents split up after 22 yrs of marriage because my mum cheated on my dad
He was very nice bout the whole thing and was like the most caring friend ever which made me love him and want to be with him even more as I hadn't really opened up to any of my friends about my mums affair for fear of them judging me
Before we got together, I dated this other guy briefly but that lasted only a few months
So he is my second bf but my first serious relationship
recently hes been acting really strangely, just today he was asking me bout my parents divorce, its not really something i like to talk about, but i thought i should tell him because in a way he has a right to know
so i told him everything, he didnt appear sympathetic at all and wasnt even typing much (this was over msn), all he said is that he fears that i would do the same to him
i know that his parents are on the verge of splitting up too, but whenever i ask him about it cos hes upset about their arguing etc, i never interrogate to the extent of asking, 'who did ur mum cheat on ur dad with?', 'how did she no this guy', 'are they still together now' blah blah
also, he is very uncomfortable about my previous bf, even tho we broke up over a yr before i got together with him
Then he suddenly just disappears off msn cos he has to go to the gym with his mate
I tried calling him but he said 'weve just been talking for 2 hours', theres nothing left to say
i thought that was just plain rude of him as normally he wants to talk a lot and we stay up till 2 am chatting every night
im not really sure wot to do about it, i love him but he is acting so horribly
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*twinkletoes*
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#2
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Tell him what you said here
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Anonymous #1
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oh yeah i forgot to add that we are in a LDR as we go to unis in diff cities and he was talking bout my friend who cheated on her bf for a few days, (no sex, just hugging/kissing), and her bf took her back cos they both loved each other a lot. I stood up for my friend and said that nothing really serious happened, there were no serious feelings involved with this other guy altho it was wrong, maybe her bf wasnt there for her at the time so she went to someone else for attention/support?
He flipped out at that point and said, oh so does that mean if your 'being moody' i can go off with girls and it would be fine cos i love you?
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boromir9111
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He is who he is, your choice, your life........
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Anonymous #1
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Yh but am i overreacting, or was it acceptable of him to question everything my mum did, everything my friend did, and then imply that I was similar to them (promiscuous etc) just because I have had a bf before, yet i am his first gf
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Astra_K
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Meh, just break up
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pina.Love
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why don't you ask him if he is insecure? and why he is acting the way he is.

All you can do is talk to him, there is not much we can advice you on.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by pina.Love)
why don't you ask him if he is insecure? and why he is acting the way he is.
Im not really sure how he will take it
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LaughingBro
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delete him! I mean dump him...then delete! (optional)
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pina.Love
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Im not really sure how he will take it
true, but you have to confront the problem some way or another, otherwise this unresolved situation will turn into resentment and perhaps a breakup.

Just be gentle with him, before you go straight into it tell him that you need to talk to him and make him promise to you that he will not get angry nor overreact. Then speak to him calmly about your frustrations and ask him how he truly feels (ask if he is insecure, and why etc.). If things get a little too heated do something that will break the ice (I kiss my partner that normally that calms things down ) and just start the convo again.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by pina.Love)
true, but you have to confront the problem some way or another, otherwise this unresolved situation will turn into resentment and perhaps a breakup.

Just be gentle with him, before you go straight into it tell him that you need to talk to him and make him promise to you that he will not get angry nor overreact. Then speak to him calmly about your frustrations and ask him how he truly feels (ask if he is insecure, and why etc.). If things get a little too heated do something that will break the ice (I kiss my partner that normally that calms things down ) and just start the convo again.
Thanks for the advice, this has been the best response yet
For all those delete him/dump him responses, seriously what is the point in saying something, without explaining your reasons, im not exactly going to give up on a years relationship just like that
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patientology
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I think you overrate this situation.
"i know that his parents are on the verge of splitting up too,(...)"
Think about this and stop complaining about "insecurities".
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FistOfFedor
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china called, they want their wall back
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Марк
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#14
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(Original post by patientology)
I think you overrate this situation.
"i know that his parents are on the verge of splitting up too,(...)"
Think about this and stop complaining about "insecurities".
This
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