Too much I's in personal Statement

I just realised there are too much "I's" in my personal statement infact for every 3 to 4 lines you see "i have, i am, i also...iiiii ..and i don't even know how admission tutors feel about this. Has any one got ideas of how to get rid of the I's and perhaps suggest a new word to use.

manifest

Reply 1

Tomorrow2Day

Too many "I"s, not too much. Try these:

"Studying XXXX has taught me...", "My study of...", "When not studying, learning XXXX..." and "Of particular interest to me...".

It hardly matters though, I was offered a place despite using "I" six times in six lines. If I were you, I would focus on checking my grammar and most importantly of all, the content.

Reply 2

Willa

11

or perhaps try not talking about yourself for the first half of the PS....
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/t45713.html

:p:

(Personal Statement doesn't mean it has to be all about YOU...rather that it just has to be WRITTEN by you....at least that's my opinion)

Reply 3

zoraster

speak in the third person. they love that.

Reply 4

supercat

2

*fights pedantism*
Too many Is...
*slaps wrist*

Reply 5

dappleddawndrawndauphin

3

supercat

*fights pedantism*
Too many Is...
*slaps wrist*

hehe!

I'm applying for English too, at the same universities as you for the first three :smile:

Why did you pick Stirling, out of interest? I ask because I decided to apply to Edinburgh but it was a toss up between that and Stirling and am still not 100% sure yet! I need luck too!! Have you decided on colleges for Cambridge and Durham yet?

I'd go with what Tomorrow2day said. Just try to rephrase things, etc - if you can't, ask your teachers or send it to someone experienced on TSR. I know you're supposed to write it yourself but I expect a bit of editing that doesn't affect content is allowed :smile:

Reply 6

supercat

2

Bethany that's awesome! For Cambridge I'm thinking probably Pembroke; as for Durham, I think I'll do an open application because I'm not that bothered. I was choosing between Edinburgh and Stirling too, for an insurance offer. Edinburgh said Bs, but that they might change the offer so I was a bit unsure. Stirling's offer of BCC seemed a bit more acceptable for an insurance! I'm just really scared something's going to go wrong in June and I'll be stuck, but Stirling looks nice and is good for English so I'd be happy there.

Wow, that was long!

Reply 7

dappleddawndrawndauphin

3

supercat

Bethany that's awesome! For Cambridge I'm thinking probably Pembroke; as for Durham, I think I'll do an open application because I'm not that bothered. I was choosing between Edinburgh and Stirling too, for an insurance offer. Edinburgh said Bs, but that they might change the offer so I was a bit unsure. Stirling's offer of BCC seemed a bit more acceptable for an insurance! I'm just really scared something's going to go wrong in June and I'll be stuck, but Stirling looks nice and is good for English so I'd be happy there.

Wow, that was long!

Good choice, Pembroke is absolutely gorgeous :biggrin:

It was my joint favourite with Newnham - Pembroke was prettier (although Newnham's beautiful too!) but Newnham won because it's so close to the English faculty, liked the atmosphere, the prices (!), the lack of bedders, etcetc. Wow BCC sounds great! I think Edinburgh's such a beautiful city though, and the course looks nice - but then so does Stirling's :smile:

I'm sure nothing will go wrong in June! I'd be happy if any 1 of the 5 places I apply to give me a place, all of the courses sound fabulous :biggrin:

good luck with your application! :smile:

Reply 8

platinumki

10

STIRLING?!!! :eek:

Have either of you been to Stirling? :rolleyes:

Reply 9

meef cheese

10

platinumki

STIRLING?!!! :eek:

Have either of you been to Stirling? :rolleyes:

Absolute ditto

Reply 10

supercat

2

What's wrong with Stirling?

Reply 11

d750

8

Have you heard about the Wallace statue in Stirling? :biggrin:

Reply 12

platinumki

10

d750

Have you heard about the Wallace statue in Stirling? :biggrin:

the Wallace monument? Um... yes

Stirling is....

No offence to Stirling. My father went there. My friends go there. I shop there, sometimes. But the uni is NOT in any way in the same league as Edinburgh, Durham or Oxbridge. If you are serious about Oxbridge, Stirling is setting your sights pretty low.

Reply 13

supercat

2

It's my insurance choice though, and it's in the top 10/20 for English with lowish grades. I would be happy there and I need an insurance offer just to make me feel more secure.

Reply 14

d750

8

platinumki

the Wallace monument? Um... yes

Stirling is....

No offence to Stirling. My father went there. My friends go there. I shop there, sometimes. But the uni is NOT in any way in the same league as Edinburgh, Durham or Oxbridge. If you are serious about Oxbridge, Stirling is setting your sights pretty low.

Sorry, it's not as random a question as it sounds. I heard quite a funny story about it. Apparently the sculptor was commissioned for a statue of William Wallace, and decided to put up a statue of Mel Gibson in Braveheart, standing on a plinth with 'Freedom' written on it. But because the locals were annoyed about a statue of an Australian going up to commemmorate Wallace, they started vandalising it. So it had to be encased in a metal cage, which hardly reflects Wallace's struggle for freedom / independence. :biggrin:

Don't know what that says about Stirling, though.

Reply 15

Cirsium

19

Mel Gibson is Australian?? Wow I never knew that

Anyway have to agree with the others... I mean I guess it might be especially good for English but the university doesn't have the best reputation

Reply 16

Jigglypuff

16

Supercat...surely if you are applying to Cambridge, Stirling is an extremely low insurance. Cambridge will most likely offer AAA, so if you are predicted AAA, BCC is very low in comparison to that. I think an insurance of AAB/ABB is more sensible?

Just my opinion though. If you like the University go for it.

Reply 17

steve-oid

supercat

*fights pedantism*
Too many Is...
*slaps wrist*

Pedantism?

I love irony.

Too much I's in personal Statement

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