Help needed guys!

12

Ok, quite scared cuz ive just found out a mate of mine self harms... i dont know what to do or how to handle the situation, i just wanna help, but i dont think i can in any way...has anyone else gone through this?

peace out xx

Reply 1

Logan

4

tell his parents and let them get a psychiatrist if he cant be helped.

Reply 2

Adzz

good luck and :hugs:

Reply 3

munchie_rox

OP

12

nasht

tell his parents and let them get a psychiatrist if he cant be helped.

thats not too helpful hun, he doesnt live/speak with his rents, and i cant force him to take therapy, i just wanna know if there are things i should/shouldnt do??

Reply 4

Gem

14

Aw thats a horrible thing for you to know, but I think the best thing to do is tell his parents. If he's told you in confidence he might be angry with you for a while, but he'll realise it's for his own good. If you're found out accidently, then it might not make you feel so bad telling them. Either way it's the best thing to do as you can't help him through this yourself, he needs other help. :hugs:

PS I just realised you never actually said 'he' but the answers so far has referred to a guy...either way your friend needs professional help.

Reply 5

killerbee

12

if he knows you know its best to talk to him about it
dont talk to him with a big bunch of mates because he might find it scary
try and find out what makes him do it and take him out to tke his mind off things

good luck - i hope he gets better

Reply 6

munchie_rox

OP

12

* gemchicken

Aw thats a horrible thing for you to know, but I think the best thing to do is tell his parents. If he's told you in confidence he might be angry with you for a while, but he'll realise it's for his own good. If you're found out accidently, then it might not make you feel so bad telling them. Either way it's the best thing to do as you can't help him through this yourself, he needs other help. :hugs:

PS I just realised you never actually said 'he' but the answers so far has referred to a guy...either way your friend needs professional help.

lol, cheers, but i have a feeling his parents are the problem, if you get my meaning, they treated him like poo, and i just wanna do whats right...

sob.

Reply 7

Gem

14

munchie_rox

lol, cheers, but i have a feeling his parents are the problem, if you get my meaning, they treated him like poo, and i just wanna do whats right...

sob.

Aww thats awful :hugs:

Is there anyway you can talk to him and tell him that you're worried and he should seek help. If he's at Uni there is counselling services. Even if you told him to go for you...at least he'd be there getting the help he needs.

Reply 8

munchie_rox

OP

12

* gemchicken

Aww thats awful :hugs:

Is there anyway you can talk to him and tell him that you're worried and he should seek help. If he's at Uni there is counselling services. Even if you told him to go for you...at least he'd be there getting the help he needs.

thanks sweetie, i think imight do, its not that i dont wanna help him, its just that i dont wanna make him do it again..ah...

can he conform for me?

Reply 9

Misogynist

18

Dont do anything - It's his way of grabbing attention.

Reply 10

Gem

14

munchie_rox

thanks sweetie, i think imight do, its not that i dont wanna help him, its just that i dont wanna make him do it again..ah...

can he conform for me?

I really don't know :frown:

I just thought that he obviously cares about you, or he wouldnt tell you, and to cut himself I'm assuming he has low self esteem, so if he has low self esteem he won't care enough about himself to seek help for him...so maybe he'd do it for you?

I don't know...I can't say what I'd do in your situation, it must be really hard for you :frown:

Reply 11

Gem

14

Godsize

Dont do anything - It's his way of grabbing attention.

Thats not fair, you don't know him or his problems, so you have no right to cast judgement. :mad:

Reply 12

Kura1984

2

Well, I'm quite sure that if he was doing it just for the pure release of it then he wouldprobably hide from you and everyone else. If he's parading it around or just letting it be seem anyway then he's probably after some help. But I know for sure that self-harming is going to get him no-where but down... it's a vicious circle; you feel down, you hurt yourself, you feel bad because you've hurt yourself. There is absolutely no way this guy can possibly be feeling that much better from doing this.... it's a temporary fix, like a drug y'know? That sudden rush of adrenaline and endorphins.

You could advise him to get in touch with other self-harmers on the net. It's therapy and mutual friendliness.

But you might find it hard to touch the subject with him. But just make sure that it's an absolute NO BULLS**T APPROACH! Self harmers will not respond to pussyfotting around, that's for sure. You may not be able to say muh to him but that you're always there for him but also that you won't stand to watch a friend sabotage their potential like that.

Anyway, as long as he's keeping it superfiial I think he'll 'grow out of it'. Self harmers tend to go on a maddun for a couple of years before realising that it got them nowhere.

And yes..... I've seen it all before. I'm not making this stuff up as I go along.

Good luck. Just remember... patient, understanding and empathetic but NO CRAP approach. This guy may just feed off the "there there"s and the "aww, poor you"s. He needs to see that this behaviour gets no sympathetic results.

Reply 13

munchie_rox

OP

12

Godsize

Dont do anything - It's his way of grabbing attention.

you dont know ANYTHING about what he has got to go through, he told me because im his best friend, and i knew something was up. if you want to make comments like that, start a thread "people with tunnel vision"

Reply 14

munchie_rox

OP

12

Kura1984

But you might find it hard to touch the subject with him. But just make sure that it's an absolute NO BULLS**T APPROACH! Self harmers will not respond to pussyfotting around, that's for sure. You may not be able to say muh to him but that you're always there for him but also that you won't stand to watch a friend sabotage their potential like that.

Anyway, as long as he's keeping it superfiial I think he'll 'grow out of it'. Self harmers tend to go on a maddun for a couple of years before realising that it got them nowhere.

And yes..... I've seen it all before. I'm not making this stuff up as I go along.

Good luck. Just remember... patient, understanding and empathetic but NO CRAP approach. This guy may just feed off the "there there"s and the "aww, poor you"s. He needs to see that this behaviour gets no sympathetic results.

lol! i will try that, thank you so much, it sounds like you do know what your speaking about, i guess id never thought about it like that b4

Reply 15

munchie_rox

OP

12

* gemchicken

I really don't know :frown:

I just thought that he obviously cares about you, or he wouldnt tell you, and to cut himself I'm assuming he has low self esteem, so if he has low self esteem he won't care enough about himself to seek help for him...so maybe he'd do it for you?

I don't know...I can't say what I'd do in your situation, it must be really hard for you :frown:

awww huni, *hugs* thank you so much!! (your lovely)

Help needed guys!

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