The Student Room Group

*sigh* please give me some advice...

Ok, so this is the problem. I've told a few little porkie pies lately and it sucks, because I hate myself for lying, but I don't know how to resolve the situation. I know I'm going to get caught out at some stage... I just feel like a fool.

Lie one: Told a group of friends that I've made over the summer that I've got a boyfriend at home (made friends whilst travelling, but intend to keep in touch with them)

Lie two: Told one lot of friends that I've 'gone to third base' with a guy I met travelling

Lie three: Told another lot of friends that I've slept with the same guy.

I think I've lied to these people because I hate the idea that I've neither got a boyfriend nor had any sexual experience. I don't know really why I didn't just tell everyone the truth, that I'm single and probably will be for the rest of my freakin' life at this rate. It sucks. I wish I could put time backwards and just tell the truth. I hate the fact that I've lied, but I can't just go and say "oops, sorry, made a mistake there - actually I haven't done anything with anyone, haha! isn't that funny!" because I don't want my friends to know that I've lied to them. Honestly, what a fool. I want to bang my head against a brick wall sometimes.

Any advice would be appreciated, although I do know there's only two real options: put up and shut up and live with the lies or own up, tell the truth and let everyone know that I'm a prat that doesn't deserve any friends seen as I can't be truthful. But still.

Gah. :frown:
Can't believe you lied to me :frown:

but really don't own up, you'll just look like an idiot, coer your lies with more lies, it's the only way....
serious narb
but really don't own up, you'll just look like an idiot, coer your lies with more lies, it's the only way....


Gee thanks. I feel bad enough for lying already... why not just keep on lying! Woo! :rolleyes:
*hug*

It is not as bad as you think. Everyone exaggerates stuff, I think. Personally, I don't think you should tell them; it's one of those perfectly natural things to do that nobody usually talks about, and it would suck if people were weird about it after you were brave enough to tell them. The lie isn't hurting anyone (except maybe yourself...). Don't think badly about yourself for lying. If you feel like it is a burden, maybe you could tell the first people that you broke up (amicably, not a dramatic, comfort-me break up) and put it behind you. You are not a prat that doesn't deserve any friends - seriously, people lie about much more serious things than details of their love lives (which aren't anyone elses business really). I think you have learnt from this experience that lying about this sort of stuff will make you feel worse, not better, in the future. And to be honest, there is nothing wrong with being single! You won't be single forever, I promise. I'm 21 and have not had any great romances in my life (nothing longer than a couple of months, how lame!). And telling people you are single sometimes makes them say exciting things like 'I should set you up on a date with my hot single friend'. Being embarrassed about being single is not a good way to meet guys!
I hope I said something of use here. I just think I know sort of how you feel because I told a complicated lie once and it made me feel bad for ages. But seriously, don't feel guilty or silly or anything - just move on from it. I doubt anyone suspects you lied, and nobody will be trying to catch you out.

Edit: I just realised that I suggested resolving your guilt of lying with another lie. I still think it's a good idea though, because it'll put it all in the past. Also, did you do Camp America this summer? Or is my memory rubbish? If so, how was it?
Thank you :smile:

Yeah I think I'll do that, tell the first people that we broke up... that's that out the way then isn't it?

Only problem with trying not to mention it from now on is that the two second groups of people do talk to each other every now and then, so I feel like they're going to mention it and find out that I've told them two seperate things. YAAAAAAAH! <ahem>

Thanks for the reassurance that I'm not a total arse-wipe of a person though. I hate myself for lying and you're right, I have learnt that it SUCKS to lie. Totally. I just feel so stupid - christ, being single's not a problem really... just feels like it sometimes!
Just tell them all that you've either broken up or aren't speaking to the guy any more, if they ask any more just say you don't want to talk about it and don't worry about it :smile:
Reply 6
red665
Ok, so this is the problem. I've told a few little porkie pies lately and it sucks, because I hate myself for lying, but I don't know how to resolve the situation. I know I'm going to get caught out at some stage... I just feel like a fool.

Lie one: Told a group of friends that I've made over the summer that I've got a boyfriend at home (made friends whilst travelling, but intend to keep in touch with them)

Lie two: Told one lot of friends that I've 'gone to third base' with a guy I met travelling

Lie three: Told another lot of friends that I've slept with the same guy.

I think I've lied to these people because I hate the idea that I've neither got a boyfriend nor had any sexual experience. I don't know really why I didn't just tell everyone the truth, that I'm single and probably will be for the rest of my freakin' life at this rate. It sucks. I wish I could put time backwards and just tell the truth. I hate the fact that I've lied, but I can't just go and say "oops, sorry, made a mistake there - actually I haven't done anything with anyone, haha! isn't that funny!" because I don't want my friends to know that I've lied to them. Honestly, what a fool. I want to bang my head against a brick wall sometimes.

Any advice would be appreciated, although I do know there's only two real options: put up and shut up and live with the lies or own up, tell the truth and let everyone know that I'm a prat that doesn't deserve any friends seen as I can't be truthful. But still.

Gah. :frown:


To cover lie one - just tell them you're not with the guy anymore - well, you're not, right? So it's not really another lie.

For lies two and three, just don't bring it up in conversation anymore, I'm sure it's not such a big deal, depends on how you spun it for your friends. Then when you do manage to find a nice guy and eventually get to "third base" or further with him, don't feel that you have to tell them, as it's none of their business. I'd hate it if my girlfriend's friends got to know my personal business.

Case in point - I took a girl to the cinema once, and we kissed inside, in the dark, nothing else. Somehow it was embellished into me getting to "third base" as you put it, and was hearing from random people who were friends of her best friend's friends boyfriend etc. about what I supposedly got up to with her in the cinema. Needless to say that put me off seeing her again.

I wouldn't feel bad, those lies are just harmless and it seems that you've only told them in an attempt to fit in with them. However, they could get offended if you do tell them you've lied, so just generally leave things as they are. Don't worry, you seem like a very nice person, and I'm sure you'll find someone who'll you'll eventually feel comfortable doing those things with. Don't feel the need to blab everything to your friends though :rolleyes:

Marcus
Reply 7
I agree. Just tell them that you didn't like the distance thing so broke up and then if they ask more its really painful so you don't want to talk aboout it.

Let it all die down, don't tell anymore lies and pretend it never happened.
Reply 8
covered farm wagon
*hug*

It is not as bad as you think. Everyone exaggerates stuff, I think. Personally, I don't think you should tell them; it's one of those perfectly natural things to do that nobody usually talks about, and it would suck if people were weird about it after you were brave enough to tell them. The lie isn't hurting anyone (except maybe yourself...). Don't think badly about yourself for lying. If you feel like it is a burden, maybe you could tell the first people that you broke up (amicably, not a dramatic, comfort-me break up) and put it behind you. You are not a prat that doesn't deserve any friends - seriously, people lie about much more serious things than details of their love lives (which aren't anyone elses business really). I think you have learnt from this experience that lying about this sort of stuff will make you feel worse, not better, in the future. And to be honest, there is nothing wrong with being single! You won't be single forever, I promise. I'm 21 and have not had any great romances in my life (nothing longer than a couple of months, how lame!). And telling people you are single sometimes makes them say exciting things like 'I should set you up on a date with my hot single friend'. Being embarrassed about being single is not a good way to meet guys!
I hope I said something of use here. I just think I know sort of how you feel because I told a complicated lie once and it made me feel bad for ages. But seriously, don't feel guilty or silly or anything - just move on from it. I doubt anyone suspects you lied, and nobody will be trying to catch you out.

Edit: I just realised that I suggested resolving your guilt of lying with another lie. I still think it's a good idea though, because it'll put it all in the past. Also, did you do Camp America this summer? Or is my memory rubbish? If so, how was it?

good points there
Reply 9
White lies don't harm anyone, but like everything else in life it is going to come back and kick you in the tush.

We've all told lies, the best way is just to keep them secret and hope people will forget.
Reply 10
Say that you didn't see him anymore because you thought he wasn't for you, and he's moving out of the country :biggrin:?
Don't tell the truth, unless they are really close and understanding friends, otherwise they will be forever against you for lying to them.
red665
Ok, so this is the problem. I've told a few little porkie pies lately and it sucks, because I hate myself for lying, but I don't know how to resolve the situation. I know I'm going to get caught out at some stage... I just feel like a fool.

Lie one: Told a group of friends that I've made over the summer that I've got a boyfriend at home (made friends whilst travelling, but intend to keep in touch with them)

Lie two: Told one lot of friends that I've 'gone to third base' with a guy I met travelling

Lie three: Told another lot of friends that I've slept with the same guy.

I think I've lied to these people because I hate the idea that I've neither got a boyfriend nor had any sexual experience. I don't know really why I didn't just tell everyone the truth, that I'm single and probably will be for the rest of my freakin' life at this rate. It sucks. I wish I could put time backwards and just tell the truth. I hate the fact that I've lied, but I can't just go and say "oops, sorry, made a mistake there - actually I haven't done anything with anyone, haha! isn't that funny!" because I don't want my friends to know that I've lied to them. Honestly, what a fool. I want to bang my head against a brick wall sometimes.

Any advice would be appreciated, although I do know there's only two real options: put up and shut up and live with the lies or own up, tell the truth and let everyone know that I'm a prat that doesn't deserve any friends seen as I can't be truthful. But still.

Gah. :frown:


Define 3rd base? I don't think you should tell them, you'd end up looking stupid, but I'd maybe try to tell them the 3rd lie was a joke or something. I know I prefer my friends knowing what I've REALLY done so we can talk about it; I don't mean I hold discussion groups on my action, but it's better being honest and such.If one of them asks you about it, they'd probably catch you out.
oxygenbubbles
Define 3rd base? I don't think you should tell them, you'd end up looking stupid, but I'd maybe try to tell them the 3rd lie was a joke or something. I know I prefer my friends knowing what I've REALLY done so we can talk about it; I don't mean I hold discussion groups on my action, but it's better being honest and such.If one of them asks you about it, they'd probably catch you out.


I've always understood third base to be what we'd refer to as heavy petting. As opposed to second base, which would be hands under top. Don't know how graphic I can get on this forum, so I'll leave it at that.

Oh, and I wouldn't be too happy with a girl sharing with her mates details of things we'd done.

Marcus
Ah I don't understand the base system... it's too, well, american :confused:

All girls share, they just don't let on they do :wink: and you shouldn't really worry unless she's calling you, but you'll probably never find out what she's said anyway.
Reply 14
lie your way out, if they belived you the first time then you must be good at it. we all have gifts yours is obviously telling some pretty shocking lies and you have to live with that, come clean and your new friends will not feel the same towards you, and dont for the love of god let your 2 groups of friends meet as they will discuss your escapades and realise your a big fool. its up to you to move house and make new friends you really have left a path of destruction in your wake

Latest

Trending

Trending