The Student Room Group

My friend letting me down!

Ok, one of my best friends is this guy called Dave who I knew in years 10 and 11 from school, and although I'm at a different place now we still keep in contact.

But now he has a girlfriend called Lorna, and he's totally neglecting his friends because of her.

I don't go to his school, but my other friends who still do say that he looks physically unwell because he just spends all his time with Lorna, from when he leaves school, to when they give him lifts in during the morning. He keeps missing lessons, not coming in at all, and he's meant to be an A grade student.

Lornas family are demented as well. Her mum fancies dave and keeps trying to flirt with him, shes done more then just flirt with one of my other friends, and she seeps in the same bed with her 11 year old son. My friend Ross who used to go round once came into her room and her brother was sleeping with hs leg over her waist.

I never had much of a problem with lorna, but earlier this week her and Ross had a huge fight because Lorna is convinced that Ross is trying to split them up, when he isn't, and she said all kinds of insults.

I'd arranged for cricket this weekend, on Saturday. I go, with Ross and another guy called Rowan. But Dave doesn't show up and says he's ill. We later find out he was at lornas house all day.

We rearrange for today, at 12. Dave then rings to say it has to be 4 because his brother (who plays cricket with us too) has loads of homework, so I went back home and did whatever for a few hours.

Come back at 4, with Ross at the fields. Dave FINALLY shows up, but with Lorna. Ross and Lorna have an argument since they hate eachother and dave goes off home with lorna.

Then his brother shows up, so we play with 3 people, same as Saturday, but it's not really enough for a good game.

As we play Ross's phone rings and it's Dave shouting at him for being too cruel to Lorna, and he says at one stage "you will not defy me" like he's some kind of Emperor. :confused:

Then we ask Daves brother if we didnt come till 4 because he had h/w and he says no, so that was a lie.

Baically, he used to be a really good friend but now he's a complete ******.

What should I do? Not be his friend anymore? I can't talk to him, he's always at Lornas house!

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he sounds pretty wrapped up in his new world of Lorna! tbh, i don't think there's much you can do to change the way he acts because of her. However, have you tried talking to him? How does he react when you talk about Lorna? If he's not bothered about his mates because he's got Lorna, why not let him carry on? He'll soon realise he needs his mates as well.
Reply 2
If it's the beginning of a new relationship then you can't really blame him for spending his time with her.

To be honest, it comes across as though you've got a case of the green eyed monster!
Reply 3
*starry_eyed_*
he sounds pretty wrapped up in his new world of Lorna! tbh, i don't think there's much you can do to change the way he acts because of her. However, have you tried talking to him? How does he react when you talk about Lorna? If he's not bothered about his mates because he's got Lorna, why not let him carry on? He'll soon realise he needs his mates as well.


I've never managed to talk to him about her. I can only see him at weekends and he would rather spend that with her then with me, although he sees her every weekday too.

Anytime he's on MSN shes with him reading whatever I say, so I can't have any proper talk.
Reply 4
Book-worm
If it's the beginning of a new relationship then you can't really blame him for spending his time with her.

To be honest, it comes across as though you've got a case of the green eyed monster!


I'm in a relationship of over a year.

I just value friendship as well.

Plus Dave and Lorna have been going out for months now!
Sounds to me quite serious if hes screwing up school over her, although its not uncommon when people get starry eyed for the first time... but does sound serious if hes bunking shcool to be wit her the time. You can apreicate people always get a bit excited in the honeymoon period, but this sounds liek a bit mroe then that! Seems if you still want him as a mate you're going to have to confront him about it and ask him whats going on!
Reply 6
It's not like this is his first g/f, hes had them before and was normal, had time for friends and work.

It's Lorna, she's a right bunny boiler, and her whole families messed up. :frown:
Reply 7
Hmm, well I don't think the Mum sleeping in the same bed as her son is all that "messed up" to be honest; I'd be more concerned as to why Ross was snooping through her room in the first place. But yeah, it is freaky if she's been with one of your friends.

If this Lorna really is a bit of a freak, then all you can do really is sit back and let your friend work that out. He'll come round eventually - it's not as if you haven't tried - and if everybody thinks the same thing, he's bound to realise it someday. Then he'll come back to you and you will have the "I told you so..." satisfaction. (Or rather, you support him and reep the benefits for it!).
Reply 8
lessthanthree
I think you need to tell him exactly how you feel just once. Make sure it's sunk in, and then let him wade through this one himself.

You're an understanding kindof bloke and I know you're decent enough to give him some slack if he comes cryng back to you after the inevitable split.

If he takes what you've said and uses it against you, I reckon you may well have lost him, but this is a mistake he has to make himself and get over himself. If he knows that you feel this way, but that you'll be there for him when/if it goes down the pan, then he'll recover better from it all.

I understand it'll be hard for you guys to just "lose" a friend for a bit, but hopefull his conscience will drive him back.


what she said
Reply 9
How exactly can I tell him what I think? I literally can't get 5 seconds with him.

Lorna doesn't even have a job, or go to college, she just sits on her ass all day, for 2 years. :mad:
Reply 10
zhivago
Hmm, well I don't think the Mum sleeping in the same bed as her son is all that "messed up" to be honest; I'd be more concerned as to why Ross was snooping through her room in the first place. But yeah, it is freaky if she's been with one of your friends.


lol well I wont argue that Ross isn't a pervert, that would be lying!

But she buys him porn, and he runs about and tries to rub his crotch on you. There is something a bit worrying about it all.

Her mum flirts with us all, luckily shes never met me. Once she listened to a CD Rowan made, and on MSN later shes just like "wow, I like that CD.... now get on webcam!"
If he's going to be rude and mean to his friends, I think you should stop bothering for the present time. If Lorna is actually as crazy as she sounds, and Dave is generally a normal sort of person, I should think he will come to his senses soon enough. You can still invite him to stuff, but don't make complicated plans just to accommodate his girlfriend. Like, you can call him up and say that you're playing cricket at whatever time, and that he can come if he wants. Then he can choose what he wants to do. Maybe he will be silly and ignore his friends at first, but most sensible people would start to miss them after a while. Maybe he needs to stand on his own two feet and be forced to make that decision himself (if his friends and his girlfriend are fighting and everyone is vying for his time, I guess it becomes harder for him to pick what he actually wants because all his time is being taken up by trying to keep everyone happy. Plus, badgering him about it is more likely to push him away and into the arms of Crazy Lorna). Personally, I think he is being a bit of a jerk right now, and there's not much you can do about it except be ready to rekindle your friendship when he stops being so crazy. It is nice that you care though, so do not feel bad because it seems you have done as much as you can really.
Reply 12
tis_me_lord
...


im not much help with your problem BUT...

..im moving back to bath for more uni; but where are these fields you speak of? im in oldfield park, near moorfield road - are there any actual parks around? proper parks with just large bits of grass. i need somewhere to go running and stuff!
Reply 13
kikzen
im not much help with your problem BUT...

..im moving back to bath for more uni; but where are these fields you speak of? im in oldfield park, near moorfield road - are there any actual parks around? proper parks with just large bits of grass. i need somewhere to go running and stuff!


The Oddown playing fields, plenty of goal posts and a cricket crease.

Go to Combe Down, find the red lion near a round a bout, and go straight past for a couple of mins and turn right.
Reply 14
tis_me_lord
lol well I wont argue that Ross isn't a pervert, that would be lying!

But she buys him porn, and he runs about and tries to rub his crotch on you. There is something a bit worrying about it all.

Her mum flirts with us all, luckily shes never met me. Once she listened to a CD Rowan made, and on MSN later shes just like "wow, I like that CD.... now get on webcam!"

This mum sounds cool. (not for sleeping with her son)

Just generally she sounds great.
Reply 15
Book-worm
This mum sounds cool. (not for sleeping with her son)

Just generally she sounds great.


She showed her daughters b/f her vibrator, ffs, she's mental.
Reply 16
tis_me_lord
She showed her daughters b/f her vibrator, ffs, she's mental.

Haha, brilliant!

Is she a m.i.l.f?
tis_me_lord
She showed her daughters b/f her vibrator, ffs, she's mental.


:eek: thats a bit too woah :rolleyes:
Reply 18
Book-worm
Haha, brilliant!

Is she a m.i.l.f?


I've never seen her, but Ross says yes, but then Ross is easy to please...
Reply 19
Me to, so i would probably like her myself!