should i just give up on him?

my grandad's never really showed any affection to me or my sister but i used to joke about it, because i had my nan to love me :redface:

. my nan passedaway 9years ago and i've become more and more distant from my grandad. Its come to the point now where i haven't seen or talked to him at all, in 10 months. I have tried to make an effort, but he always makes excuses not to talk to me. I can't go round there, because I don't live nearby. The other night he rang, but as soon as i answered, he put the phone down on me!

Its really harsh, but I love him so much. What hurts the most is, he goes out most nights with his mystery friends, getting f=drunk. nd then he just complains how ill he is.

Today was a revelation. My dad and younger went to see him (I was at worlk) and according to my dad, he looks really really old and ill. I feel awful, but I don't know what to do. Do I carry on with the distance, or do i try to get closer, after being pushed out for so long? :frown:

Reply 1

daniel_williams

15

well when people get old they do go a bit grumpy and contancerous. but you jsut have to try and get on with him, try and make the most of it if you can while he is still about, sorry to link it to death, but i know recently i have become distant from my grandad and he is slowly getting worse and more frail, and i haven't had the chance to see him, so i am going to try as much as possible to go and see him before its too late.. but its worth a try, he does love you but may have a funny way of showing it, you are his grand daughter after all and he should love you, but do what ever you feel right in doing

Reply 2

*starry_eyed_*

OP

14

omg this is so horrible. just last night i was saying how he's a bad grandfather and now here i am crying how i wish he wasn't like this. :frown:

Reply 3

Philadelphia

*starry_eyed_*

my grandad's never really showed any affection to me or my sister but i used to joke about it, because i had my nan to love me :redface:

. my nan passedaway 9years ago and i've become more and more distant from my grandad. Its come to the point now where i haven't seen or talked to him at all, in 10 months. I have tried to make an effort, but he always makes excuses not to talk to me. I can't go round there, because I don't live nearby. The other night he rang, but as soon as i answered, he put the phone down on me!

Its really harsh, but I love him so much. What hurts the most is, he goes out most nights with his mystery friends, getting f=drunk. nd then he just complains how ill he is.

Today was a revelation. My dad and younger went to see him (I was at worlk) and according to my dad, he looks really really old and ill. I feel awful, but I don't know what to do. Do I carry on with the distance, or do i try to get closer, after being pushed out for so long? :frown:

Please don't feel bad as you haven't done anything wrong just stay close to people who want to stay close with you.

Reply 4

_poptart_

2

You've done all you can - im just confused as to why he puts the phone down on you?!
A lot of people find it hard to express their emotions, he loves you but just doesnt know how to make you realise it.
Family is a strange thing, thrust together with people you dont necessarily get on with.. but have to!
Although i think youve done all you can, dont give up - hes your grandad after all. Why not bite the bullet and go round to see him, maybe go with your dad as well to make it less uncomfortable.
Im sure he loves you, hes just probably depressed etc and thats whats making him grumpy as hell!
The thing is, you only live once and i think its important that you try to make the most of people while they're with us - you dont want to ignore him and then end up regretting it later on.
Have u spoken to your dad about the way your gdad is? he may know some deep-rooted reason why your gdad is so distant and grumpy.
Whatever happens, good luck... I know I could not imagine how hurt I would be if my grandad put the phone down on me if he rang :redface:

Reply 5

IjustlovetheIB

Is there a reason why he acts like this towards you?!

I would just..show up at his house one day and try talking to him. If he refuses to, or doesn't open the door or whatnot, then...maybe you should give up (as hard as that may be.) It's really not your fault and you've done all you can.

Reply 6

RedRenengade

The short answer is no.

But the right answer is yes.

For you see if you took the easy path which would be not to talk to him again, that would ultimately lead to the darkside (Which is bad).

However the good side of the force will be more difficult yet will ultimately give you that warm fuzzy feeling inside, which we all require.

Now in unerdspeak.

Making the relationship with your grandad work will ultimately make you much happier in the long run because even if things aren't perfect and he dies you'll still feel asthough you've atleast tried

However if you don't make the effort, when your Grandfather finnaly cocks it you'll feel like ****(I know the end is a little crude but i'm a little tired rght now)

Reply 7

RedRenengade

Can I also add, that I am a bad ass at this helping others stuff.

Reply 8

RobbieC

15

I think you should do your best to make him let you back in, particularly if he's vulnerable and needs a loving family around him at the moment and in the future. I'm not sure success is guaranteed, but if you try, then thats all you can do. It takes two to tango.. as usual.