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earthquake hit manchester [joke thread - this has not really happened]
An earthquake measuring 5.7 on the richter scale hit Salford this
morning. The epicentre was Ordsall. Casualties were seen
wandering aimlessly saying "bang out of order" "mental" and
"sorted".
The earthquake decimated the area causing in excess of £17.55 worth
of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Ibiza
and Corfu were damaged beyond repair. Three preserved areas of
historic importance where burned out cars were destroyed, were
wrecked. Many locals were woken before their giro's arrived.
One resident, Kylie Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of four
said, "It was such a f***kin shock, little Chardonnay-Destiny came
running into my bedroom crying, my hands were shaking that much I
could hardly skin-up".
The British Red Cross has so far managed to send 4000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers
are still searching through the rubble and have found numerous
'Elizabeth Duke' sovereign rings, benefit books and Poundstretcher
ornaments.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for
those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster.
Clothing is most sought after. Urgently needed are LaCoste
tracksuits, white socks, Burberry caps, Beanie hats and Reebok
trainers.
Food parcels are also needed. They include McCain oven chips, Aldi
beans, Monster Munch and Iceland pizza. Alcohol is also in short
supply, especially White Lightening Cider and Special Brew.
Cash donations are also needed.22p buys a 'signing on' biro, £2.50
buys a Jumbo Sausage Dinner, £20.00 buys a fake MOT and £16.00 buys
200 Regal from the back of Tommo's lorry.
Your help is appreciated.
found this on another forum
morning. The epicentre was Ordsall. Casualties were seen
wandering aimlessly saying "bang out of order" "mental" and
"sorted".
The earthquake decimated the area causing in excess of £17.55 worth
of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Ibiza
and Corfu were damaged beyond repair. Three preserved areas of
historic importance where burned out cars were destroyed, were
wrecked. Many locals were woken before their giro's arrived.
One resident, Kylie Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of four
said, "It was such a f***kin shock, little Chardonnay-Destiny came
running into my bedroom crying, my hands were shaking that much I
could hardly skin-up".
The British Red Cross has so far managed to send 4000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers
are still searching through the rubble and have found numerous
'Elizabeth Duke' sovereign rings, benefit books and Poundstretcher
ornaments.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for
those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster.
Clothing is most sought after. Urgently needed are LaCoste
tracksuits, white socks, Burberry caps, Beanie hats and Reebok
trainers.
Food parcels are also needed. They include McCain oven chips, Aldi
beans, Monster Munch and Iceland pizza. Alcohol is also in short
supply, especially White Lightening Cider and Special Brew.
Cash donations are also needed.22p buys a 'signing on' biro, £2.50
buys a Jumbo Sausage Dinner, £20.00 buys a fake MOT and £16.00 buys
200 Regal from the back of Tommo's lorry.
Your help is appreciated.
found this on another forum
Scroll to see replies
err thats news to me and i live in salford 
qwerty_st/n
err thats news to me and i live in salford
i take it as you couldnt be bothered to read it
yes the penny's just dropped 
got sent one like that for my town a few months ago 
All this is a bit stereotypical isn't it? Actually no its Ordsall sounds very correct to me
Funnily enough three years ago I was in a lecture in Salford and there was quite a big quake. It was really strange one minute the lecture was banging on about the principles of MIDI the next the room shook the room was silent for two minutes then the lecture just carried on as if nothing had happened.
It turned out the epicentre was just half a mile away.
PS There was no earthquake in Manchester this thread is just a joke in case people are confused.
Funnily enough three years ago I was in a lecture in Salford and there was quite a big quake. It was really strange one minute the lecture was banging on about the principles of MIDI the next the room shook the room was silent for two minutes then the lecture just carried on as if nothing had happened.
It turned out the epicentre was just half a mile away.
PS There was no earthquake in Manchester this thread is just a joke in case people are confused.
That's yet another rip off of the classic "Earthquake hits Basildon". Possibly the one of the oldest cut and paste jokes ever... 
AT82
All this is a bit stereotypical isn't it? Actually no its Ordsall sounds very correct to me
Funnily enough three years ago I was in a lecture in Salford and there was quite a big quake. It was really strange one minute the lecture was banging on about the principles of MIDI the next the room shook the room was silent for two minutes then the lecture just carried on as if nothing had happened.
It turned out the epicentre was just half a mile away.
PS There was no earthquake in Manchester this thread is just a joke in case people are confused.
Funnily enough three years ago I was in a lecture in Salford and there was quite a big quake. It was really strange one minute the lecture was banging on about the principles of MIDI the next the room shook the room was silent for two minutes then the lecture just carried on as if nothing had happened.
It turned out the epicentre was just half a mile away.
PS There was no earthquake in Manchester this thread is just a joke in case people are confused.
So you are a chav?
lol, after th first sentence i was about to ring my mate in mancs then!
LPK
burberry college boy
Hey, Mr 5 never repped me for that
Hey, Mr 5 never repped me for that
I'm in Milllennium, not woodbury
Book-worm
As much as i dislike manchester I think that "joke" is a bit harsh!
Considering the damage thats been done by a real earthquake!
Considering the damage thats been done by a real earthquake!
in manchester??
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